“I’m TALKING” … do men and women differ in how they handle interruptions?

[Indubai]

My DH really struggles if anyone interrupts or interjects when he is talking.

It’s not something that annoys me, personally. I seem to be much more comfortable with the ebb and flow of conversations.

Is this a male privilege / entitlement thing? Perhaps women are generally more used to giving space to other people and taking into account their views, and wonder if men just expect to be listened to a bit more.

Interested in your thoughts.

Definitely. I realised after a while I would break off what I was doing to help the kids with something, say. DH would tell them to stop interrupting him because he was doing something or that he would get to them once he had finished something. And I think a lot of kids see a similar pattern - you can ask mum for anything any time, but dad's time is Important and he is Not To Be Interrupted

Generally I didn't and don't mind being interrupted all that much unless it's really repeated, but maybe that's a female conditioning thing!

DH does get rather peeved when I won't let him interrupt me when DS and I are in the middle of a boss fight (we do a lot of online gaming together). 😆

Nope. When it comes to interrupting and saying "I'M TALKING", that is a narcissist trait, and narcissist come in both genders.

Read Deborah Tannen for the answer to this.

https://www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/products/you-just-don-t-understand-book-deborah-tannen-9781853814716

I personally think most of the time it is about the perceived power dynamics within the group of speakers/ non speakers.

I also think that many men behave in competitive ways that most women don’t even think about or realise even exist.

This may be why a group of women friends who get together will have a conversational ball that gets tossed around and goes back and forth with no problems or upset egos.

Whereas men, and especially in work situations, work in an unspoken hierarchy - so interrupting is seen as trying to be more dominant - this doesn’t even occur to women’s thinking.

We can all understand not interrupting the senior boss, or it’s no problem cutting off children when they go on too long. Those are obvious examples of the higher status person having the conversational dominance.

My ex used to tell me off for interrupting, then interrupt me when I replied. But I realise in hindsight that he had always felt that he was superior to me, I had thought we were equals in the relationship- I was so so wrong.

Obviously, there are others who are neurodivergent who operate outside of the norms.

Just my personal opinion, but it makes for interesting watching when in groups of people, especially men.

DH is autistic and interrupting him really bugs him but he goes on and on sometimes so I do it anyway. He has learned over time that he cannot have it both ways.

I have to remind DH to listen to what I actually say, not what he thinks I should have said.