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Feminism: chat

This is the problem

28 replies

sladtheinkaler · 20/11/2025 03:53

Twice this month, my thirteen year old daughter has been yelled at by men in cars. Both times, she was walking home alone, in her school uniform. She is quite small and looks thirteen.

The first time was a car full of teenage boys. The second time was a middle-aged man alone in his car. Both times they slowed down and leaned out of the window to yell at her.

The first time, she came home and sobbed. The second time she was clearly shaken but was determined to shrug it off.

She has two choices:

  1. Continue to live her life in a way that allows predatory men to let her know that she is not safe.
  2. Shrink her life and her world to keep herself safe. Always get lifts to and from school. Never be alone. Never walk anywhere.

It is so fucking unfair, and I am angry.

OP posts:
logiccalls · 10/01/2026 20:53

Arran2024 · 10/01/2026 20:16

Unbelievable and utterly impractical.

Firstly why should she have to do this?

Secondly, most people can identify males from females at a glance. It has nothing to do with clothing or bags - it's posture, stance, gait, height.

Thank you for responding.

Err.... Why avoid being a target? For the same reason females avoid dark alleys? The poor girl was very distressed by the men in cars.

She may not herself know that very many men get fetishes about schoolgirls in uniform. In those clothes, walking home alone, she is not only a target because she is visibly female, she is a brightly flashing neon sign, because she is wearing the fetishist's dream clothes, those of a schoolgirl.

You are absolutely right, that the difference between males and females can be easily detected, regardless of clothing. However, there is evidence that the difference is spotted by women, more readily than by men, presumably because women's lives or safety rely on knowing the difference, but men don't need to fear anything except another man who is far bigger and stronger. Autogynephile males often actually convince themselves, and other men, that they can pass as females.

The fetishists looking for a schoolgirl to drag into a car, and the misogynists looking for females to frighten, will be inflamed, and dangerous, at the sight of a schoolgirl in uniform.

With luck, they might hardly even notice some shapeless anonymous person, while they drive along with their eyes scanning the pavement for interesting prey.

Because they are males, they may not even spot the little tell tale signs you rightly mention, including "posture, gait, height, stance".

The lumpy grey person shambling along in a boring unisex hoodie and tracksuit trousers might be a boy, or a short man, if glanced at by a man eagerly hunting for schoolgirls.

The armour of some kind of easily carried disguise, hiding that uniform, just might be worth a try,

Arran2024 · 10/01/2026 21:06

logiccalls · 10/01/2026 20:53

Thank you for responding.

Err.... Why avoid being a target? For the same reason females avoid dark alleys? The poor girl was very distressed by the men in cars.

She may not herself know that very many men get fetishes about schoolgirls in uniform. In those clothes, walking home alone, she is not only a target because she is visibly female, she is a brightly flashing neon sign, because she is wearing the fetishist's dream clothes, those of a schoolgirl.

You are absolutely right, that the difference between males and females can be easily detected, regardless of clothing. However, there is evidence that the difference is spotted by women, more readily than by men, presumably because women's lives or safety rely on knowing the difference, but men don't need to fear anything except another man who is far bigger and stronger. Autogynephile males often actually convince themselves, and other men, that they can pass as females.

The fetishists looking for a schoolgirl to drag into a car, and the misogynists looking for females to frighten, will be inflamed, and dangerous, at the sight of a schoolgirl in uniform.

With luck, they might hardly even notice some shapeless anonymous person, while they drive along with their eyes scanning the pavement for interesting prey.

Because they are males, they may not even spot the little tell tale signs you rightly mention, including "posture, gait, height, stance".

The lumpy grey person shambling along in a boring unisex hoodie and tracksuit trousers might be a boy, or a short man, if glanced at by a man eagerly hunting for schoolgirls.

The armour of some kind of easily carried disguise, hiding that uniform, just might be worth a try,

I just can't believe that you thinkbthat a young girl disguising herself as a boy is either doable or advisable.

My younger daughter got so much hassle. She had a 28FF bust and I can assure you that no one is going to able to disguise that!

ProfessorBinturong · 11/01/2026 00:32

The lumpy grey person shambling along in a boring unisex hoodie and tracksuit trousers might be a boy, or a short man, if glanced at by a man eagerly hunting for schoolgirls.

I think I've already said it on this thread but it clearly needs repeating. I was catcalled by men in a car in a blizzard. I was dressed for the weather, in entirely unisex clothes - I was not much shy of 50, and doing the best possible impression of a well-lagged hot water cylinder.

A hoodie won't sort this problem.

Men are not as good as women at identifying men in disguise, but they are bloody good at identifying women (or at least at assuming anyone without a big flashing MAN sign on their head is a woman).

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