Bringing a newborn to university lectures

[Nimnuan]

I'm on a part-time university course (apprenticeship) and expecting a baby in the next few weeks. I'm not intending to take a break as any break would mean a year's delay. All classes this year my baby will be under 26 weeks old and breastfeeding.
I want to bring her to lectures with me because arranging childcare and expressing breastmilk will be much more difficult at such a young age and given the university's atrocious arrangements for expressing. Obviously if she cries or is disruptive I'll have to step out into the hallway.
I've just been told that I'm not allowed to bring my newborn to lectures because it would be a "contravention of rules and regulations". I've asked to be told which rules and regulations but haven't heard back yet.
Can you give me any advice about how to argue my case?

In a nutshell. I can’t believe the level of entitlement I see all around me these days.

That’s just batshit! You’d leave home around 6.30am, spend 10 hours in lectures then return home at 9.30pm? Complete madness to even contemplate without having a newborn baby to deal with at the same time. Bearing in mind that you’d be up several times in the night if you’re breastfeeding. To be honest, that sounds dangerous - I’d be very concerned about driving safely under such conditions.

Maybe formula feed instead and leave with dad?

Could you push for asking for a live feed/ reforming of the lecture as an access measure? You have already had a child so know each session will be hit and miss and stressful if baby not happy and you might get a penalty for not attending. If it was me I would push for this as at least at home you can record and pause and do what you need to give full attention to the baby or the lecture and takes the stress out of ‘what if they wake up’ which means you won’t be fully present anyway, even if they did say yes.

Because nowadays there's a greater sense of self entitlement, if one mother does it, many others would want to do it and the lectures would be completely destroyed. Plus we live in a no win no fee society and liability is greater.

I'm not looking for help with childcare.

I wouldn’t get an Elvie. I got one because I had to go work onsite when DS was 5 months old. It’s SO loud. It makes a noise a bit like a respirator and I don’t think I had a single meeting where someone didn’t ask what the noise was, irritatingly. It’s also the type of noise that drives some people mad, so I had to position myself to avoid anyone who struggled with it so they could focus, and you have to empty it pretty often. It was all a bit of a faff, and a pretty expensive one, not to mention looking like a lopsided Pamela Anderson if you only wear one.

You couldn’t argue your case at my HEI. It would come to me personally to look at and it’s an outright no. We do not allow children of any age in to any academic sessions or in the majority of university buildings. We have a very specific children on campus policy which applies to staff and students.

It is an entirely inappropriate place for a baby and complete unfair to everyone else. Use childcare or take a break. That’s your options.

The university I used to work for absolutely would not allow babies or kids in lectures, and for good reason. It would be ridiculously selfish and disrupting to every other student in the room.

You don't have a legal argument here. If the the university says no, that's it.

I did this. It was amazing and that level of support from lecturers and fellow students shaped my future career choices. My baby had reflux but was perfectly content in a sling and breastfed. I sat near the door, just in case.
A cuddled or feeding baby isn’t disruptive and obviously you can step out or change if baby does get fussy or proves to be a very noisy baby generally. And be prepared to make other arrangements as your baby grows and gets more alert, awake, and inquisitive (and mobile).

Students on phones, eating snacks, chatting to each other, etc were/would be far more disruptive than a newborn.

You can't.

You shouldn't.

And you won't win.

I wouldn't bother making your case. In the unlikely event they did capitulate, they'd soon come to their senses when other students started to complain.

It is an entirely inappropriate place for a baby and complete unfair to everyone else. Use childcare or take a break. That’s your options

This.

I'm just waiting for someone to say they need to take their dog to lectures too. I am sure it has happened already.

Basically it's not for the rest of the world to rearrange itself for your child. You arrange your life around the child. That does not mean taking it to lectures, it means using childcare, watching the lectures streamed or taking a gap year.

I remember there was a story recently about a woman who wanted to take her reasonably small child to a trade show and they told her no. Interestingly the main tenor of the comments on the Times website was how unreasonable it was and how we were still making life difficult for mothers.

No. The baby has a dad. Get him to do his bit.

She may not be easy like your first. Mine was very restless and cried a lot. Very loudly. He took a huge amount of settling, winding and fed for ages.
However, you may be lucky and have another easy baby.
What if you don't?

But it’s hard to argue you case as it doesn’t seem in most people’s best interests -babies, lecturer, course mates etc. I can’t think of anything worse than a baby in a lecture l am in and lm sure your course mates probably feel similar

Thank you, have messaged!

I think you'll find it very disruptive for you and baby. Few babies don't cry frequently at that age or have other issues like pooing or vomiting and inopportune moments.

I went back to work while breastfeeding and I had a mobile pump that went down my top fairly discreetly. I wore it in meetings and everything. You could also advocate for mother's room on campus. I did end up having to do some meetings online with my baby as they were in the evenings when I had no childcare and even then it was really tough.

Why would you put the baby through it! You're gonna be knackered if you're up doing night feeds which makes you a car crash risk! The baby will be knackered from being dragged about and more likely to be grizzling - getting up and down and leaving the room every 5 minutes is also disruptive and not a solution. I'm.H&S for a living and extra risk assesment is needed for this because these environments have never been risk assessed for babies and prams and evacuation in emergency and if they don't have in house h&s it will cost them a fortune to get a consultant in to do it!

As others have also said, they cannot start a bandwagon where other mothers want to bring their kids in and totally derail lectures!

Childcare and pumping.

Can you get your lecturer to record the classes or let you join remotely, would be easier on you and your baby and everyone else in the class too.

I imagine there’s issues with health and safety and safeguarding etc.editing to add these issues would be for face to face lectures but not a problem for you participating remotely

It doesn't sound fair to the baby more than anyone else,to be honest.

Agree

Here we go! Pathetic pretending that everyone else is worse than your magical offspring! Nothing would be worse than a crying, screaming newborn and a mother continuously up and down! Nothing at all would be worse!

Ex-lecturer here. You’re being very self centred and selfish. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your life choices. Your fellow students are there to concentrate and learn. They’ve paid a lot of money for their tuition. Lecturers spend a lot of time preparing lectures. You WILL be disruptive.
What about any group work on your course? Will you bring the baby to those meetings? I can’t see your student colleagues being happy. I wouldn’t be happy teaching with a baby in a seminar group situation. What about tutorials with your tutors? How will you be able to discuss topics properly? Are you going to take the child into the library? A lab if this is a practical course?
You made a life choice, now deal with it. It is an educational setting, not a crèche.
By all means argue that there should be better facilities for parents/babies, there should be. But you are not entitled to disrupt others learning experience.
Also - putting this in the feminism chat doesn’t make it a feminist issue. This isn’t about feminism or equality. You’re selfish and entitled and looking for excuses.