The narcissist always wins

[NotReallySure]

I'm I the position that, like so many other women, I'm about to walk away with considerably less than is fair in a divorce with a narcissist. He has bullied and threatened me so much and every lawyers email now sends me into a spiral. It's making me sick, physically and mentally. Clearly this affects my kids too as I can't parent well when I feel like this. Years of abuse, but all just flies under the radar. He's clever, manipulative, and earns 6 figures, so legal costs are a drop in the ocean. I can barely afford my lawyer, let alone taking him to court. I have nothing left to give. I'm taking back the last things I have, my health, my dignity and my peace, and you can't put a price on that. But when is this going to change, it fucking sucks.

Stay strong. This will be a difficult time while you get out of the trauma bond. I’m currently divorcing my narcissistic ex. Two years in and I’m so much better and calmer. Journaling, medication 💊 and meditation all helped. No contact as much as possible. The pain is awful for the first 6 weeks but it WILL subside. You can and will do life without him.

I had exactly the same.. my exH also made well into 6 figures and I was working PT. He wore me down, manipulated, lied and for my own mental health and to protect my children from seeing me broken, I too walked away. He got the family home and cheats his way out of paying what he should... but I am free now and thats an amazing feeling. Stay strong and keep the freedom in mind xx

Thanks both of you. I should have clarified, I actually left 3 years ago, he's been dragging his heels all this time and I've had no money while he takes the kids abroad and to theme parks etc. I was so determined to fight him but he's twisting everything and making it so hard. I just need to back down and walk away. He's still in our house and hasn't given me a penny.

Im so sorry to hear this op. I was in your position, walked away with next to nothing, and struggle every month to pay my rent and bills whilst he lives with plenty. BUT my house is my castle. I have enough, for now, to eat and be warm, and I am free of the life that had me me in mental chains for years.
All I can tell you is that my kids are now adults, have figured out for themselves who he is and what he did to me (and therefore them) in the divorce, and don’t have a relationship with him that is anywhere as close and loving at the one they have with me.
You WILL get through it, it will feel like it has broken you but you’ll eventually emerge stronger, wiser and standing in your truth (with noone on the side telling you that you are wrong/mental/imagining it)
in the meantime I send you strength and solidarity. Hang in there.

Mine did the same!! Must be part of it and the control side. We separated in 2019 and the divorce didn't come through until last year!! He dragged it out, used up all my savings on mediation and I left with next to nothing too. It makes me so angry that these men get away with it.