Men joining women's group

[GreenCat12]

I joined a "tea and chat" style group that was set up for women with a specific health condition. I've been going for over a year now. It's a condition that affects men too but this group was specifically set up for "women only" because there are things that only affect women so it's a space where we can share how menstrual cycles, peri/menopause, pregnancy, etc can affect symptoms and talk about coping strategies to deal with it. It's not just about that though and we do talk about the condition in general.

A while ago, the group changed to accept "anyone of a marginalised gender", from what I can gather, this was done to make it more inclusive for women who identify as non-binary.

However, what's actually happened is we now have heterosexual biological males joining the group. It completely changes the vibe. Someone mansplained something to one of the women in the group. It was very minor and I would sound ridiculous if I mentioned it or reported it but it really irritated me. Me and the woman rolled our eyes at each other briefly at the time. I think it's spoiling the group.

I like attending mixed groups for other things, I don't mind socialising with men but I just wanted this one group to be a women's only space where we could speak about our experiences as women.

I think it would be cool to have a women's group and a mixed group. And a men's group too if men need or want one.

It feels like we can't have women's only spaces anymore without men muscling in. I've noticed more men posting on mumsnet too. I want to shout "piss off and set up your own bloody group".

It really annoys me! Can we not have women's only spaces anymore?

If I set up a women's only group, would I be hung, drawn, and quartered for not being inclusive? Is it even legal or does it go against the Equality Act?

Women and men should both be able to have women or men only groups but I dont see why mn had to be Women only if you are going by the name only birth mothers would be allowed and that to me is totally wrong

Why would it only be birth mums who would be able to use mn? Aren’t adoptive mothers also mums?

you re right to feel unease, OP. A clear cut case for women's spaces here... why on earth should a group specifically for women include men? Even if they dress as/claim to be women ?

I'm sorry @PollyBell I completely disagree and think that attitude is disgusting, women who adopt ARE mothers. If anything, they're more likely to need extra support on forums like mumsnet.

To me yes they are but this idea we cant have men in mumsnet would mean we cant have an auntie without children or a teenage sibling adding for advice their younger sibling

I think this place should be allowed for anyone who wants it i have never thought it was for woman only so I assume the argument its called mumsnet is where people only want 'mums'

I dont disagree with that my point is men, foster parents, adopted parents, people without children everyone should be allowed

That is the point

Again, @PollyBell, I disagree. A lot of women going mumsnet for support when they are trying to conceive, foster, or adopt a child. They become part of the community of women, even if they don't end up being a parent.

That's completely different from a man invading a women's only space.

I dont see mn as a women's only space

Physical women's only spaces including in person support groups can be single sex - single sex spaces are absolutely protected by the equality act as has been fairly recently clarified by a high court judgement.

Online spaces (especially anonymous ones) are a separate issue especially as nobody can easily tell who posters actually are, unless they post something which doesn't track with who they say they are.

@TheSkyLooksBeautifulTonight thanks, that makes sense

Mumsnet is not, and as far as I know has never claimed to be, a single sex space.

Single sex groups are a different matter. They are permitted by the Equality Act. And what is more, any that are set up as single sex must be single sex. "Women plus anyone of a marginalised gender" is not a grouping permitted by the Act.

A women-only group is allowed. A 'women (including women who don't like to be thought of as women)' group is allowed. A 'men with a trans identity' group would be fine (provided it admittted no women). But 'Women plus some men' is not allowed - they must either allow all men (and stop pretending to be a women's group) or none.

(Unless it's an association of 24 people people or fewer, in which case it's outside the remit of the Act and they can do what they like.)

What?

Sympathies OP. If you think the organiser would be sympathetic then you could discuss it with them. Otherwise could you set up an informal group specifically to discuss the health condition in the context of being a woman? I hope you find a solution that works for you.

Clearly you don't think that adoptive mothers are mothers, otherwise you would not have made that point. Or who were you speaking for?

OP, when the group changed to "anyone of a marginalised gender", who decided that? Was the group consulted?

Men inserting themselves where they are not wanted - can’t bear it. Set up a parallel group for women and hopefully they’ll all come and join you and just leave the men to themselves.

Yes I think of adoptive, foster, grandparents anyone who has a child they care for who thinks of their adult carer as a mother is a mother

I also think anyone should be allowed on here female or male with or without children

it sounds like there’s a good reason for you to want a female-only group. This would be ‘inclusive’ of anyone ‘assigned female at birth’, to use the genderists terminology regardless of their ‘gender’, and totally in line with the Equality legislation.
Float the idea - I bet you’re not the only woman who is pissed off by men having been allowed into your group.