WDNC & TW inclusion

[Caerulea]

If you're not familiar with the 'we do not care' club then please look it up but in short, a coming together of middle aged women pre & post menopause.

Not so much talking about the effect of the hormonal changes but talking about the weight we've all carried either conforming to beauty/society standards, the 'point of contact for everything' mum/partner, the holder of the answers for every query starting 'where are the..'

Just the idea we get to an age where we've had enough, are tired & in some respects just want to be left alone rather than being the fulcrum of other people's lives to the cost of our own.

Contributions range from not caring to shave legs to having had a double mastectomy. You get the idea. Light hearted but very much about being a middle aged & upwards woman.

So - I follow the 'founder' & had idly joined an fb group. Just to have interesting & affirming stuff in my timeline. It transpires the various groups are nothing to do with her & the one I was on (some 500k members) was all up in arms about trans women being excluded. Someone's TW friend had joined another wdnc group to talk hormones & wasn't welcomed with open arms. The group I was in was horrified & of course they'd be welcome...

Why? The 'movement' has gathered support so quickly cos so many women feel 'tired' of being bled dry, a lifetime of it. It's not deep, it's not especially serious but it's a thing unique to women & most definitely not a recently transitioned middle aged TW who wants to use our experiences to further affirm themselves?!

Surely that is just an example of the whole bloody thing?

Anyway! I've left that group, I'll continue to follow the founder for the time being (I also LOVE her accent & could listen to it all day lol).

Dunno - just feel irritated by this. Am I wrong to? Am I missing something?

Don't know if I'd be 'up in arms'. If there are 500 members and one TW, it really wouldn't bother me. If the group was dominated by TW, I'd be very annoyed. People don't have to interact with anyone they don't want to.

I follow Melani on insta & she is a breath of fresh air. I’ve seen the FB groups pop up but have not engaged, primarily because they seem to be far removed from the original intent of WDNC Club. If the members of the FB groups don’t understand that TIMs are not perimenopausal or menopausal women then I’m glad I’m not a part of that.

Because a group of 500 women talking about womens stuff has to let a man in because he is special and must be included when a main theme of the group is "fuck off men, I, a women do not care about whatever you are whining about, yap away children we do not care, dear all talk to the hand we do not care" have to care about special men.

The TWAW lobby are soooo off target in the WDNC group that they are not just selling snow to eskimo they are demanding Reindeer are included in the marketing too.🦌🦓

500,000 & I don't doubt that people of all persuasions consume the content, and of course anyone should (never know...men might even learn something...) but I do think there should be zero questions asked of us by TW under the guise of having an idea of what it's like to get to your 40's & upwards realising just how much piss you've had taken out of you.

Doing that is just taking MORE piss, isn't it? There are tonnes of topics where women & TW can co-exist & contribute together but this just isn't one of them imo.

To me it feels like the most extreme end of entitlement.

This really is a new kind of discussion, older women putting their foot down & being open about it.

If there were a male movement talking about high suicide rates, shorter lifespans, later retirement, the toxicity of Being Tough' and a TM popped in going 'oh is so hard isn't it. Tell me all about your erectile dysfunction' they'd be right told to fuck off.

I'll go follow her there, genuinely enjoy her content & hope she's able to navigate stuff like this whilst maintaining who the space is for.

Sadly not always
There was a Mens Shed type farmer group in Scotland started ofter a local suicide if a farmer and some TIF decides she should be included in that group of man and the LA stuck their beak in because she complained about them using a local hall and the group was kicked out /or disbanded😬

@AnSolas holy shit that's depressing! What an awful, self-centred thing to do. But then, I guess, that sums it up doesn't it

And the LA allowed it to happen. Imagine going home and saying you had to kick a mens suicide prevention group out of the local community hall because DIE said so.

@AnSolas I cannot see how the action of the TM is motivated by anything other than hatred of men. Surely it's the ultimate act of passive misandry - preventing men organising together on mental health issues. Something I, even as a feminist, think is of paramount importance!

But then it just mirrors the behaviour of some TRAs who seem motivated by their misogyny, so it fits I guess

Main character syndrome being pandered to by people who should have known better but if the policy is a TRA over rides the needs any and all that is the outcome.

My Dad used to be part of a Rotary Club and there was a group called The Inner Circle for the wives. My Mum dipped in and out because she wasn't a club kinda person, but she was happy enough. Some of the wives made a fuss because they wanted to be part of the men's side of things. It blew itself out in the end, because the fellas weren't having any of it.
Why oh why do people want to get in to a group that was set up for a certain thing. Why can't he set up his own. I mean I know why, because he wants affirmation.
And no I don't think you're making a big deal out of it.