Unsolicited comments

[jackiesgirl]

Im sure there’s been hundreds of threads about this but I just had to share the most recent unsolicited body image comment from a COMPLETE STRANGER. A man, obviously.
Context, I had a baby less than 3 months ago so I’m carrying some extra weight, but this is only relevant as it means I’m feeling extra self conscious!

Got some shopping the other day, was stood at the checkout with baby in the pram minding my own business. Buying a variety of items, on the belt is some baby stuff and 4 nights worth of dinners including veg plus a packet of Wispas and a share bag of crisps. Complete stranger, man in his 60s, points at my chocolate and crisps and says “you shouldn’t be eating that! You’ve got healthy veg and meals there and you’re ruining it with all that, how are you going to lose weight!”

Why why why do men think it’s ok to comment on women’s bodies or food like this?!

Omg! How did you respond? Cheeky fucker

What did you say!!!!

Hope you have him a mouthful!!

What a wanker!!

Him not you!! ;)

I was so shocked I just awkwardly said “it’s all about balance” with a little fake laugh but it’s one of those moments where you can think of a thousand much better responses after the event

You need this thread.

The only answer is look him up & down & say. Thank you for your comment random man.

Good one. Or “You seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a toss what you think.”

Making sure he notices a quick glance at something he could feasibly be self-conscious about is definitely a good move (and if he wasn’t self-conscious about it before, he might well be now).

After a few practice runs (when my mind also went blank in the moment) I now opt for an expressionless “okay” in a bored-to-tears tone.

As a woman in her mid Menopause I often feel rage and have no filter anymore. I wish us peri and meno women could somehow organise ourselves to chime in on these idiots and give them both barrels., like a vigilante army.

"That's nice dear"

I had very similar at work. Man came up to me as I was making tea and emptying 3 sugar sachets into the mug (1.5 teaspoons of sugar) and he comments about it being alot.
My scathing response left him looking horrified and a random colleague almost choking. I simply said "ooh I didn't know we hired a company dietician".

BTW I’m back from the gym. I wore shorts. In the supermarket afterward I was approached by a random man who said Men don’t like women with muscular legs. The woman standing beside me started laughing.

"I don't care"

I've had "you're lovely, but you'll lose your figure with that!".
To which I said (making sure there were plenty of people around to hear me & support me)
"You're not lovely and you lost your figure years ago!".

Deep breath, look him up and down very slowly and deliberately, then say “did I fucking ask you? No? Then off you fuck”.

I can see the temptation in saying this but I'd exercise caution....men can be dangerous and aggressive.

I think there are very few men in their 60s for whom one could not find some advice about their appearance to offer in return ...

Congratulations on your baby. Enjoy all the crisps and chocolate you like. What an utter twit that man is.

Very true.

A few weeks ago I had “you’re pretty but if you lost some weight you’d be gorgeous” by some old man (I am 45 and overweight but so what) who had a massive belly and a bald head. I was shocked and an older woman in front of me (we were queuing in the post office) said to him “oh hark at Mr gorgeous passing his comments, piss off”.

Everyone near us burst out laughing and he went beetroot.

Cheeky bastard. I was too shocked to say anything

An oldish chap had been sniffing around me at the gym for a few weeks.
I barely tolerated him and would rarely make eye contact or he would be off his machine and sleazing over.
Previously, he had mentioned my thong was showing 🤨

Now, he obviously disapproved of my foray from blonde to bright Henna.

Without even Hello:
"What does yer'usband think of yer'air then?!"
"I have literally no idea sweetheart, he minds his own bloody business. Have you ever tried it?"

Harsh, but this had been brewing.
I'd seen his shocked face when he saw me and had a few minutes to compose 😂

Definitely! I would have told him to mind his own business if I'd been there.

If it’s a safe situation, saying, “Sorry, I didn’t catch that?” and asking them to repeat themselves helps. Do it a couple of times and by the third time they usually realise what a dick they sound, especially if you say it slowly back to them. “Oh, you were making a comment about what food I was buying? How funny!”

This techno does usually turn the embarrassment back on them so is only for safe situations where they won’t feel able to respond aggressively, supermarkets or busy shopping streets.

Oh I’ve had many men ‘try’ to say things like this to me. I’m small, over 50 and look pretty tame….but that old quote ‘though she be small, she is fierce’ should have been written about me.

I was driving to Tesco’s last week, and this twat in a BMW cut me up…I mean, not just a little, a real slamming the breaks on, lurching forward, type cut up.

I did my usual rhythmic beeping of my horn to show my anger….he did the obligatory holding his hand up…as if that’s enough of an apology….But that was it.

as it happened I ended up following him…for a few streets….just before I turned into the Tesco car park he stopped the car right in front of me, got out and marched up to my car shouting at me for following him….’what did I think I was doing … turn round and stop being a stupid female' etc etc.

well red mist formed….a real problem with many menopausal women I hear !!!

I got out the car and faced him …( I think I reached his nipple…) and calming said ‘ I’m trying to get to Tesco’s you absolute bellend, is there another way to get there that I don’t know about, or should I have teleported there to save you being harassed by me driving behind you…..now off you fuck back to your car because I’m in desperate need of wet wipes …. ‘

he stared at me for a few seconds and without saying a word turned heel and got back into his car.

I was shaking like a leaf when I got back into my car….but I’ll be fucked if a man is ever going to try and intimidate me ever again.

Give them a few tips back. "Oh ok, thanks for the advice, whilst we at it I think that jacket needs a good wash, did you know you've spilled something down the front" or "Have you considered doing your hair differently, it's quite an old fashioned aging style" - a nice little jab back, big smile, as you were.