Is this it? Have I entered the invisibility zone?

[LagerWhisky]

In my youth, I noticed a pattern of people talking down to me but didn’t understand why. Thanks to feminists on social media (when I was much older!) I finally understood that I had been consistently underestimated because I was a young woman.

I always thought the middle aged invisibility zone was just about whether men pay attention to you or not. Like others, I have noticed that yes, men do still pay attention to older women. But that’s not the point I want to raise here.

I recently had an experience where I was perplexed because I couldn’t get anybody to understand that I had a skill and could help them a lot.

But then I remembered what it was like to be young and unknowingly on the other side of this glass wall of judgement and underestimation. And I wondered whether it was starting to happen again now that I look like one of Miss Marple’s slightly younger friends.

As I get older I find myself reflecting on my youthful experiences and adjusting my approach to younger women. Instead of saying "I know...", I ask them to show me what they're doing and then suggest the known "fix".

As children grow into adulthood they are adverse to "parental" voices.

I like your approach @TooBigForMyBoots

My approach with young people is to tell myself that they’re the same age as me but have young exteriors. That stops me being tempted to adopt anything other than a peer-to-peer tone of speech.

Anyone else? I should have titled this post better. It’s about invisibility and perceptions of capability rather than invisibility and perceptions of attractiveness.

I don't find it for knowledge/professional skills.

In my work, middle aged women are being appointd to senor roles with genuine equality and in my sector the senior women and their knowledge and experience are spoken of and referred to with just as much respect as the men.

Outside of work, I've recently been asked to join a group to run a project specifically because of my professional skills, and two other middle aged women are included in that group for the same reason.

That’s good. Sounds like a good sector.

I’m 62. Ive never felt invisible. I’m not good looking at all, but I make the best of what I have, for my own confidence. I’m professional, intelligent and compassionate. Why would I be invisible? If it’s men, or youth, dismissing me, then I challenge. Not letting anyone get away with that shit.