Can you help with an argument with my husband ?

[Cabotine]

So yesterday I was pleased with the court ruling but I have nothing against trans-women, they can lead the life they want, I think I get the feeling of being born in the wrong body but I draw the line at seeing them as biological women. It’s what I think but I won’t enter debate about it, I won’t go on Twitter and support J.K Rowling etc... Trans women can be what they want and have the right to live a fulfilled happy life. Nothing extreme about what I feel.

However, my h compared to Trump, saying I have the views as him - I’m taking huge offence to that. Do you agree ?

You are both entitled to your opinions, it anyone trying to control people's opinions i have the biggest problem with

Exactly!!!! It’s not like I’m trying to convince him to agree with me but comparing me to Trump !

If you and trump both think the sky is blue, that doesn’t mean you agree on everything. Point out all the other areas where you disagree with trump. Ask your DH why he lumps different political questions together instead of actually thinking about each issue.

The reasons for your opinion are not the same as Trump’s reasons. Point that out to him. Trump/MAGA seem to only like straight white people who have lots of white babies. I’m assuming that you don’t feel like this but instead care about women’s rights. Just because it might appear similar to Trump at a surface level it isn’t the same at all if a bit of thought is used.

Trump drinks water, suggest your husband abstains from all hydration just to be sure...

Agree with parietal. You and Trump/Hitler/Stalin/whoever will agree on some issues, while disagreeing passionately on others. If that’s his first argument he isn’t thinking about this issue. What does he think about men in women’s sports, rape shelters and prisons?

Hitler believed in nationalised healthcare. Tell him if he supported the NHS then he's no better than Hitler. Shows the stupidity of his comments.

I always think of this diagram which explains it well for me.

I don’t think you have the same opinions as trump, because he’s not interested in protecting trans people at all or ensuring they lead happy lives, whereas you want rights for women and for trans women.

Disappointing when men we love seem shit on women’s issues.

Low form of argument to compare your views to Trump: is that the best he can do?

I would ask him to consider if he's conflating sex and gender.
Does he believe there is any difference between the male and female sexes?
Does he believe there are any differences between man and woman as "genders"? If so, what are they?

If he can only say the circular "feeling like a man/woman" then he either hasn't really thought it through, or is being dishonest (like Trump).

The main group of people that women and trans people need protection from is men. So if your husband is so concerned with trans issues, and not just taking away from women (which is very Trump like), he can campaign for trans people to have their own protected space that doesn’t infringe on women’s. He can stand up to other men when they comment on trans people and when he sees toxic masculinity. However, shutting down women without listening to the debate is much easier to do and means he doesn’t need to address shit.

Also, even a broken clock is right twice a day. You’re bound to agree with Trump on some things, it doesn’t mean you align with him whatsoever.

It's just such a lazy argument, one which has been made by a few people online so I'd be questioning if its really his opinion or just one he's parroting from people he's seen on X.

JK Rowling has a great answer to that pathetic Trump comparison 😀 ⭐️

https://x.com/jkrowling/status/1912539665149677986?s=61&t=eyxqR0PEXArt9SPlCOh4HA

Edited in case the link doesn’t take you to the tweet. Here it is:

Pol Pot thought water was wet. Gheghis Khan liked his horse. Stalin ate cheese. I suppose you're just fine with mass murder, are you, you horse, cheddar and shower-loving bastard?
JK Rowling

I've had "Hitler was a vegetarian" much of my life! As though that was the issue, the vegetarianism not the genocide. You will always agree with someone some of the time unless you're a child who will argue that blue is red because his sister said the crayon is blue.

And fwiw, I doubt you do agree with Trump anyway. Trump believes in two genders. I don't believe in gender. I don't believe there is anything innate that makes a woman other than her physical body. Trump would disagree I am very sure.

As an example i would support a law that said that if you assault a pregnant woman and her unborn child dies, that it carries an additional sentence. I would be on the same side as the Christian right. But I'm 100 percent pro choice right up to the end.

So while the Christian right are fighting for a law because it's sort of anti abortion, I'd actually be supporting a law that respects that the ending of a pregnancy of a woman is a heinous crime against the woman. Mentally, and physically. We can agree on a law and not actually believe the same thing at all.

You can tell your DH from me that his comment makes him about as stupid as Trump if not more so.

What's wrong with being on the same side as Trump? He's not perfect but he's treated very unfairly in the way the media portrays him.

The phrase “he’s not perfect” is doing a lot of heavy lifting there…

How on earth does being understanding of trans-people make you like Trump? He believes they’re an abomination.

I think it works both ways. I don't want to trample on the rights of the minority of transwomen who genuinely feel born into the wrong body and I do know a couple. However, as someone who was born a petite female, I've experienced the predatory side of men wolf whistling at me in the street from as young as 9 if I wore a skirt. The idea that some men won't exploit being given free access to women's spaces is very naïve. Couple that with the current 'be kind' movement and times haven't really changed for women since I was a child in the 80s.

Yes, I have met plenty of transwomen irl (who I don't feel threatened by) and I'm sure they'd be shocked if I discussed my full experience of being a woman (sexual assaults and rape) with them. The point is they'll never know what that is like though will they? They can't get raped, impregnated and feel pushed into having an abortion because they're not in the position to raise a child.

One summed it up as they had a bit too much time on their hands during lockdown like a lot of other people, and got thinking they may as well give being a woman a try?! Even within the younger generations I'm sensing a pushback and a move towards being GC. They don't necessarily feel aligned to gender stereotypes, but are critical of biological males suddenly declaring they are women.

@Cabotine I'm a TW and I don't consider your views to be Trumpian, Trump's motivations are not to protect women but your views are likely based on that.
I'd perhaps ask him, if he's so concerned about us, would he call his mates out for giving us shit if they encountered one of us in a male single sex space (according to the SC ruling) OR if he's adamant we're the same as biological women would he date one of us and tell his friends about it?

Andrea Dworkin and conservatives were both anti-porn. They weren't coming from the same place. Same thing.

This is just one topic. If your husband were to speak to Trump I'm sure there would be something he shares some common ground with him on; that's just how the human mind and existing in the world works. Fwiw I've not seen anything in your OP which suggests your views on gender are exactly aligned with Trump's. I've seen people arrive at bizarre conclusions by feeling the need to distance themselves from figures they perceive as being inherently bad like Trump. Politics isn't football and nuanced views on complex societal issues are important.

Given we don't fully understand the heath implications of taking hormones/ gender reassignment surgery, that alone for me is reason enough that trans people need to be considered a third gender. If society has made the decision to make these treatments medically available, then we need to make sure research is done in this area, otherwise we're potentially allowing a lot of people to die prematurely.