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Feminism: chat

Bf finds it hard to say I love you

3 replies

Summersoon2025 · 02/04/2025 02:59

In the main it's a loving relationship but he struggles to say those words to me. He says it back when I say it but has only said it a handful if times on his own accord. I have brought it up before, no real explanation except that he does love me and is committed to the relationship and wants to get married. After an emotional few weeks with 2 x cancer diagnosis, it came to a head again tonight. I said he's not meeting my emotional needs by not saying it, the fact that he easily says it to his adult sons on a regular basis (from a previous relationship) but struggles saying it to me. He then tried to tell me that we say it to each other "most days" which is obviously not true but tried to convince me. He then reeled off all the times that he shows me he loves me and why isn't that enough? I said I need to hear it and can't understand why he can't say it (to me).

OP posts:
BeJustGolden · 02/04/2025 05:58

For me, showing me that you love me is much more important than saying it:
anyone can say I love you. It’s just words.
For me, actions that show love.

parietal · 02/04/2025 08:22

Does he show love in all other ways? How long have you been together and has this changed? Do you live together?

dh and I rarely say I love you but after 25 years we don’t need too. If this is a much shorter relationship or less certain, things are more complicated.

Fimofriend · 10/04/2025 13:59

If he can't even do such a small thing for you I wouldn't be too confident about his support as you go through cancer treatments.

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