Cabs and late evening travel

[Huckleberries]

I have put this in feminism so it doesn't get hijacked by posters telling me not to go out etc

I was just wondering what people's experiences are of getting home on their own after an evening out. Short version, I feel nervous if I have to go home on my own in a cab. Also nobody wants to check that you're home alright anymore, they think it seems patronising maybe? I don't know why - when we were younger it was a norm to check everyone got home safely.

Other friends going home on their own are not fussed about this at all.

I don't want to go on too much but part of it - as someone who is accustomed to cabs - is that these days, there's no such thing as quality drivers in the evening in my area. We used to have two lady drivers working here but they no longer work evenings as they don't feel safe either.

Just interested to know what others are doing or feeling. I no longer drive for health reasons.

It's not a routine worry I have, but a few years ago I got into a cab that didn't feel quite right and I phoned a friend for a chat while I was on the 20 min ride.

Nothing happened, and maybe nothing was ever going to happen, but it made me feel less vulnerable in the cab.

I would be happy to chat on the phone to a friend while she got home if we'd been out together and it made her feel safe.

I've always taken public transport and taxis alone, where I currently live it's walking distance to the nightlife and I walk home alone if dh isn't with me.

There are apps for personal safety. This for example: https://www.derbyshire.police.uk/police-forces/derbyshire-constabulary/areas/derbyshire-force-content/campaigns/campaigns/2019/hollieguard#:~:text=We%20encourage%20people%20across%20Derbyshire,their%20day%20to%20day%20tasks.

I'm not walking distance, I'd be better with that.

I have also done this all my life but the drivers are so different. One went into the wrong street on Saturday and when I said it, he did a screeching u turn. It's very much the evening drivers.

re calling the people I've been out with, I've done it when I felt really uneasy but no one seems to get my discomfort at the moment. As I say, no one even wants to tell me they got home okay. I would get on their neeves very quickly if I wanted to actually call every time.

edit - ditto if I wanted to make them a contact on a safety app. Also, they're off in the other direction so they can't do anything. With the calls, I pretend I'm talking to a man who is expecting me home. Only had to do it a couple of times though.

I'm sorry to hear you feel unsafe. I would save the number of a cab company you're familiar with and book them if you can, rather than flagging cabs down.

Download the Hollieguard app for reassurance.

I always look out for friends getting home and make sure they get home safely.

@Maitri108 this IS the cab company I've used for decades. Still good drivers on in the day - including two guys I went to college with. I'm glad you look out for your friends. I might have to chat with mine about it but they think I'm being silly.

Uber is almost worst because they do their rating thing so you feel obliged to chat. That's a really shit thing for women IMHO.

A friend who comes out with me from my street sometimes has been refused rides for too low a rating.

I'm the same. I appreciate you no longer drive, but personally I would rather drink soft drinks and drive home than get a taxi. On the odd occasions where I have booked a taxi, I've left at a fairly early time 10 or 10.30 pm and I've not drank a lot either but these instances have been in the area where I live. I wouldn't want to get a taxi at night in an area I didn't know.

@AcquadiP thanks for understanding

I don't drink but I don't have the option of driving. My last experience was actually 10pm by the way. There's just a sense of unease with some drivers. Mr U turn seened very angry about something.

btw this is my local area but funnily enough, someone got cross at me for leaving a birthday do early because I didn't want to get a late train in an area I don't know.

I do think a lot of areas have gone downhill. My very young hairdresser thinks the popularity of day clubs is linked to getting home safely at an early hour!

You’re not alone OP, I hate getting in cabs on my own late at night and will avoid it pretty much at all costs. Sadly a result of being followed by too many encounters with creeps over the years. If I had to though I’d use a local cab firm rather than Uber.

Disappointing that your friends are so dismissive / wouldn’t want to have a call with you. They sound pretty flaky.

I don't drive so I always use public transport I don't think about it really anything can happen to people at any time

Logically I know you are right

"someone got cross at me for leaving a birthday do early because I didn't want to get a late train in an area I don't know."

Wow, that was selfish. I wouldn't have been on that late train either (unless with other people in my group going to the same place.)

I'm just very cautious when it comes to my safety. It's possibly because the Yorkshire Ripper was at large in West Yorkshire when I was in my mid to late teens and women of all ages were terrified; and the police advice to women was to not go anywhere unless in a group. A young woman was murdered by him as she walked across a park as a short cut home, having visited her grandparents. Her name was Josephine Whitacker, a former pupil at my school and she was only 19. All of this has nothing to do with taxi drivers, ofcourse, but I'll never forget the fear we all lived with at that time, it does have a lasting impact.

I and my bff check on each other after evenings out. But I've long thought how unfair it is that women have to pay for taxis because men are dominating public transport and making it unsafe for us.
Fortunately I live in a part of Greater London which is quite busy up to (or after) midnight. But if I'm travelling locally or away from central London, I drive, so am having to both pay out for petrol and ensure that I don't drink.

My friends and I message we are home safe after a night out. I assumed most people did this. I am very much an instinct person. If I get out of the tube station and I feel OK to walk the 10 minutes home, I will. If I get a vibe I'll get a cab.

I don't get cabs very often. But I got one in london recently with a female friend.

He was driving down back streets and then he drove into a basement carpark. We freaked out a bit - and we asked "why have we come down here" and he didn't answer us. Few tense moments, twists & turns and we come out the other side of the building onto roads again.

I think the driver enjoyed upsetting us. Putting us on high alert. There was no reason to take that shortcut, no reason not to say "it's just a quick shortcut" or whatever.

What an arsehole.

I have o to felt uneasy once in a cab and it was in the day time but I had no idea where I was.

I always text friends when we have been out to say I am home and to check if they are home. I'd happily ring a friend that asked me too as well - although it wouldn't occur to me to ask.

Just wanted to update this by saying i've just had a taxi driver shout at me, from that allegedly reliable local taxi firm

I think he'd probably argue that he wasn't shouting. But I was really pissed off. I've just been to a networking thing at a place that he considers a posh club. So he was basically saying in a very loud voice "oh you've been rubbing shoulders with the millionaires have you? Oh you know all the business secrets now, don't you?" And carried on like that like a rant.

It was literally just a networking lunch.

I think I'll actually stick to Uber. I'm feeling a bit shocked actually.

I can't imagine that he'd talk to a man like that.

That’s awful @Huckleberries . 💐