Is there much coverage of men's issues, especially relationships, emotions and mental health in the media?

[Porridgewithdates]

Just had a discussion with dp, who thinks that although it's great and important that women's issues are now receiving attention in the media, men's mental health and other male issues are less prominent.

He doesn't mean males in the media in general (of which there are undeniably many!), but feels males are still expected not to talk about mental health, emotions, relationships, etc. and that more emotionally sensitive or vulnerable males feel invisible.

I said I'd seen lots of articles about males and emotions. Personally I feel discussion of mental health seems to get turned towards men and how they don't talk about it (though all the men I know do!).

I wonder if there's anywhere to find statistics on this. It might just be bias (I look out for such articles as I have a pre teen son).

How are men's issues less prominent in a society run by men for men? Do you know about the bias against women in the medical field? Are you aware that MSM is male run, with predominantly male reporters writing about men?

I note your husband admitted that women's issues are important (how gracious) then immediately brought the conversation back to men.

Then you came onto the Feminism forum to ask about men.

Yes, because I was looking for some evidence of opinion that there's a lot published about men's mental and emotional health, etc., while I might be wrong, but it seems to me there's a lot.

The issue of men (allegedly) less able to show emotional vulnerability and less open about mental health is a major issue in feminism.

Surely men's emotions and vulnerability is a male problem and not for women to solve? Why is male mental health a major issue in feminism?

Because male violence tends to be a major result of men not bothering to express their emotions in sensible ways. Male stereotypes perpetuate the issues feminism seeks to address.

Obviously men should be sorting this out.

I have every sympathy for these men who are impacted by MH and issues. BUT, the 'male loneliness epidemic' is created and perpetuated by patriarchy. When we have people tech giants insisting on "masculine energy" and such. The only way to solve it is to actively fight against the patriarchal societal values keeping them in this situation.

No-one else can push for that change but them as it centers on their own behaviours changing. Some have already started pushing the right way which is great but when so many men want the company of women yet hold extremely repulsive views toward them and don't seem to want to self reflect on the fact that their own behaviour is causing their loneliness.

In short, men as a collective need to start their own push against views like "men don't cry" aswell as tackling the extremely prevalent extreme misogyny throughout society.

@Alwaystired94 I agree absolutely.

I can't find stats or research googling media coverage of men's mental health . Just comes up with loads on men's mental health.

Perhaps he's right that men are portrayed more as having to be strong and "manning up," but I certainly think that it's men who have the responsibility and the power to change this.

exactly.

Women aren't stopping men from opening up and being vulnerable. MEN are. The more of them self reflect and see that and start to change their behaviours the better they'll all be. But sadly too many are subscribing to idiots like Andrew Tate and other misogynistic grifters who refer to women as "females".

We will cheer for them, but that's all we can do. The action isn't on women.

@Porridgewithdates

Hi OP I think it depends where he gets his information in relation to where you get yours as you mentioned there are quite a lot of men’s mental health promotion the challenges are getting men and boys to engage with it.

Also depends on what his position is as if he’s thinks he needs to talk then a gentle steer towards the information you’ve seen may help. If it’s the discomfort men are perceiving then maybe he needs to do a bit of work rather than you doing it for him.

Male suicide figure are truly awful and that’s not a bad place to start if you’re looking for hard evidence of his concerns. On the flip side rape conviction levels in the UK are beyond depressing. Both issues should be deeply concerning to everyone.

By him a copy of Hidden Women and he might not feel as oppressed 😊

I don't know about the mainstream media but from my experience of social media I don't think I've ever seen a post or discussion about women's mental health without a chorus of "what about men". There's always an attempt to turn it back to men.

Often it's women campaigning or volunteering or setting up services for women. Because universal services fail women more often than they fail men. Then men come along and expect us to meet their needs too. I say if men feel universal services are not enough they can start their own campaigns and volunteer themselves and set up their own services not whine about women not doing it for them.

My own mental health is in the pan and it's that way because my male partner walked away from parenting a disabled child because it was making him depressed, fuck how I feel or how being abandoned to cope alone will impact my mental health. My disabled child is also male. The elderly parent I used my minimal free time to support was male, while my male sibling with less commitments and responsibility could not possibly be expected to help. All I do is care for male people, work around male peoples jobs. Ex can't have DS because he's working but oh it's fine for a disabled child's mum to give up work and paying into a pension and her financial security to take on that care. I hate my life and would love some practical and mental health support but I've not found that fourth coming. Maybe men making these comments don't understand that women can't get help for poor mental health ether? Maybe they don't think they need it because we ought to be naturally more suited to sacrificing our mental health for elderly parents or children? It's shit for everyone right now.

@Burntt
So sorry to hear what you've been through and are going through.

I've similarly spent much of my life either looking after ir a carer for male relatives or partners, even a partner's alcoholic father...all seems expected and ingrained in our society (and I'm white British middle ish class), but as you say, there's little support.

I did get carer's support when I was a carer fir my ex, which was good within the capabilities of the funding before austerity.

To be fair to him, my partner was a carer for his disabled wife for years before she died, with no support. Perhaps he imagines a female carer would get more support, from services or society/community. I'll ask him.

@positivemasculinity yes, I've always been a bit bmmm about male suicide stats since reading Germaine Greer's point (I think in The Whole Woman) as a teenager that women tend to be taught (culturally) to put others first, so will self-harm or choose quieter (less angry announcement) deaths that tend to be slower so more preventable.

That and having lost a few male loved ones to suicide.

Of course it's a major issue, but when men wheel it out to prove the patriarchy doesn't exist...umm...it's a big effect of the patriarchy, ffs! If men don't encourage each other and boys to support one another, it will no doubt continue to happen.

Well men are welcome to speak up and campaign for awareness on these issues, just as women have. It isn’t the job of women to do it for them.

@Porridgewithdates

I agree Men and boys need to support each other and I also believe we should support women. Whether the reverse is reciprocated or not wouldn’t change my belief for a better world.

I found that the change has been quite fast paced in recent times and I can see why some men feel threatened but getting on board has its benefits to Men but if you’re one of the good guys hearing about the bad guys all the time can be depressing.Although having just read “why women get blamed for everything “ I think we should be ok

Also can’t ignore that currently a lot of public services are failing everyone so there are lots of significant problems fighting over scraps where the loser will believe there issues have been ignored where there just wasn’t the resources for everyone.

Going back to your dp if he feels the way he does about the issue maybe he should take a look at something like men walking and talking and if you haven’t got a local one he could set one up. Bit of male activism on MN feminist board!

Third wave feminism did try to address this issue. There was a huge academic focus on feminism being something that should be for everyone and on how to address the ways patriarchy etc hurt men as well as women. The end result was the concept of "toxic masculinity" which the majority of men dislike. I do think there is plenty of truth in what your husband says about men having to "man up" and in the idea that there are concepts/expectations of masculinity that are harmful to men as well as women. But when women take the lead on this:

1. It is seen as a criticism (it often is TBF) or as a way of criticising natural healthy behaviours. And then we get the backlash (not wholly justified) which was targgeted against all women not just the women who talked about it. TBF I think a lot of the "manosphere" influencers were looking for reasons to be angry at women, rather than genuinely upset by this.
2. The fact that "men suffer too" gets absorbed by people who see politics as a Karpman drama triangle and just used to derail any conversation about women's problems or to justify male bad behaviour by people who don't actually have any intention of making things better for men
3. In some cases "good" for men looks different to good for women. e.g. men bond more through activities so initiatives like "Men's Shed" can really help male loneliness. Pointing to initiatives for women and asking why men don't have the exact same thing is counterproductive.

Of course women (as all humans do) have a responsibility towards other people in their lives. We are social animals. And women do, do a lot of emotional support for men around them as it is. Plus while men might be more likely to commit suicide, women are more likely to volunteer on suicide prevention initiatives. But if men want to fix the problem on a wider societal/political level - they need to be the ones to do it. Because they don't welcome top down initiatives from women.

I’ve noticed recently that I’m seeing a lot more about men’s mental health, more than I do specifically about women. Inevitably it’s arranged and pushed by women, eg there’s a local Andy’s Man Club, populated by men but all the admin, online stuff, and arranging marketing stands etc is done by women.

The best way to get men talking about their mental health is to start a discussion about women’s mental health. Count to three and voila, lots of men and women centring men. Yet again.

Well we are told if we have children we should be stay at home mums and also help out with grandchildren

So how are women therefore meant to run society if they complain they do it all in the first place

And if they do have jobs thry are advised to call in sick or get signed off if they sneeze

But if we want men to help out more and be ina position to be more involved in family life wouldn't it make more sense to have more help out there for men and women?

Only a man would come onto the dedicated feminism board and explain to women why feminism is really about men.

Don’t tell me when and how to post.

Feminism is not about men at all. Can women not have anything without men trying to claim it from us?

Are you very young? The use of ‘Srsly’ and ‘plz’ would suggest so.

I think you as a woman will tend to get stories about mental health and emotions sent to your algorithms and your husband will get diffenet topics like fishing or sports

Feminism is not about "gender equality" it's about women.

It's in the fucking name.

Anyway, yes there's a fair bit in the media about men's health and how bad it is and mental health and how it's hard and they don't go to the doctor or speak about feelings or open up to friends when they're feeling low.

There are also various campaigns about making it better and initiatives to try to help. It would be good for men to look at what's there and see what works and where the gaps are and try to fill them. Yep, they should definitely do those things.

I think it's healthier when the affected group takes the lead and responsibility for making their own lives better. They are after all the experts on their own lived experience.

They need to lobby the men with power and influence, not look for women to come up with answers.