Being patronised at work

[whydoihavetowork]

I am posting here rather than AIBU or work because hoping for more insightful replies!

I work in a professional services type industry (think accounting, law, etc). We have a client (male) who employs a separate consultant (male) from an arts background. Our senior leadership team for this account is predominantly female.

Consultant was involved in a previous project that had relevance but no reason to be there now. However consultant has been retained by client on an ongoing basis to "keep an eye on us" (his words to my colleague last week) so effectively someone from an artistic background with no knowledge of our industry keeping "an eye on" professionals in a regulated industry. We are a leading firm in our industry. You do not employ us to have someone "keep an eye on" us.

There is much more to this that angers me including knowing this person does naff all but present our work as his etc. However I cannot shake the feeling that work presented by females is not enough here. We are an old school male dominated industry as is the clients. We meet or exceed all our targets, performance is not an issue but clearly trust is.

Client has not yet said the comments to me but is likely to at some point. I have to be mindful they are a major client who I can't piss off but I am so bloody cross. Any ideas for useful comments I could make??

I know what you mean OP. I've been in similar situations although I'm the only senior woman in my company.

I read this on another post and it resonated with me. A MNer had pointed out that for women it is assumed we are incompetent regardless of the evidence, whilst men are assumed competent regardless of the evidence.

I've just posted my own thread along the same line because I've had a day full of this sort of shit and I've had enough. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but at the moment, I'm so angry I can't think straight.

It was me who replied to your post! Yes the evidence/competence point is damning isn't it.

Great minds!

The main thing is to own the narrative with your client. Don't let someone else take credit for your work. Make sure the client is regularly updated with your team's actions. At the same time don't show you are annoyed or rattled. I have come to the conclusion a lot of men just really enjoy winding up women. Sounds like arty boy has oiled his way into the client's confidence (drinks, golf) and the client sees no harm in making you feel like you have to prove yourselves. It sucks op.

The comment about men enjoying winding women up is spot on.

I imagine you are correct. We really do try to own the narrative and evidence everything we do and ensure direct to client. However we just don't know what those two talk about together and how he positions things. God knows how he takes credit for things when he doesn't even show his face at the project most of the time but he seems to.