My husband is a lads lads lads type what book can I get him to read...

[Coocoocachooh]

...that will help him understand the struggle for women. I mentioned that there was a misogynistic joke in a book we were both reading and he couldn't understand why I saw it that way or why I had an issue with it. He was so dismissive but I feel (maybe naively) that it was out of ignorance rather than nastiness.

So what short, simple book can I encourage him to read that would fill in the blanks for him?

Thank you

I'm not sure whether a book would help, would it? Do you have daughters? Although I have brought my son up in a feminist household I think he only really got it when his daughter was born and I was talking to his wife about feminism and maternity provision.

No I have sons. A book would definitely help. He would be willing to read and it would do feminism far more justice than I could ever explain, especially when I've already got my back up because he's being dismissive.

Try Invisible Women

The SCUM manifesto by Valerie Solanis. It's a slim volume; he can read it on the toilet.

Trainspotting could help. Hearing the way Begbie and other men casually describe battering women could have an impact.

Why’s a lads lads type? I have visions of a racist, misogynistic, homophobic prick?

Invisible women by Caroline criado perez does a great job of explaining some really hidden aspects of patriarchy. Measured too, so it's perhaps something he'll find easier to take seriously

The Power by Naomi Alderman
Show him what it's like from the other side.

so has he requested one and wants to actually read it or are doing it in a 'I am more educated than you you need to think they way I want you to way' because that would be controlling to be perfectly honest which is what women accuse men of

Yes, I was going to suggest this book too.

It's extremely well written in a way that a certain kind of "You're just making a big fuss over nothing, love" man would likely be attracted to pick up, even if for no other reason than 'to see what rubbish the silly woman is banging on about'... and then the science and reasoning is top-notch, engaging and undeniable to all but the most misogynistically closed minds out there.

I'm thinking of Al Murray's Pub Landlord character, where the only acceptable occupations for a woman are nurse or secretary and every 'proper' round at the pub has a token obligatory "white wine for the lady" added by default at the end (without actually troubling yourself to ask said woman what drink she might actually want).

@BlondiePortz "so has he requested one and wants to actually read it or are doing it in a 'I am more educated than you you need to think they way I want you to way' because that would be controlling to be perfectly honest which is what women accuse men of"

I don't think you understand what "controlling" means.

I don't think the fiction recommended here would be terribly helpful. Extreme, made-up cases don't necessarily transfer well to the realities of everyday life, where sexism is subtler. It would be easy for him to shrug it off as "I'm not like that, neither is anyone I know; this isn't actually stuff the women in my life suffer from".

Begbie is extreme but the underlying thread of sexual politics among the different men and women in Trainspotting is incredibly well-drawn. It’s a great shout by the poster above.

The Man Who Has It All: From Frazzled to Fabulous!!

I’d be getting him a decree nisi

Good lawdy. 😂

What was the joke?