To think GPs don't listen to overweight women?

[Gemmy96]

I've just been to the GP for an issue which most certainly is not normal, at least it isn't normal for me. The male (naturally) doctor told me that it is normal and that what I'm experiencing is "subjective", i.e. made up.

This is just one of countless experiences where I feel I've not been listened to because when a doctor sees me they see 1) overweight and 2) female, and therefore hysterical. For what it's worth, the issue I'm having isn't connected to weight in any conceivable way-- the doctor didn't even explicitly try to blame it on that, for once.

I've called to request a second opinion from a female doctor, which hopefully will be more helpful. AIBU to think women's health problems shouldn't constantly be blamed on weight and/or gender?!

Maybe this is better suited to the feminism board, but I wanted a good rant.

It's not just overweight women OP, it's all women. I was in the most awful pain, I could barely get out of bed and the Dr kept sending me off with antidepressants - a female Dr no less.

After two years I insisted on further research and was almost immediately diagnosed with a chronic illness. The Dr even had the cheek to question the diagnosis because she thought I was a malingerer despite experts making the diagnosis.

I obviously changed Dr and the one I have now is perfect. Listens to me, treats me like a human being and takes me seriously.

To be honest most of them don’t give a shit as long as they get you out of their waiting room so they can see the next patient.

Compassion fatigue is putting it kindly.

Yep, pretty much. It's dehumanising.

Yes and also because of the weight. I have been complaining about a previous medication making me gain weight (I was on it nearly 5 years) and me not being able to lose it despite trying all the diets under the sun for 2 years. But my BMI is not high enough (over 40) for me to receive any help AT ALL! Even though it was medically caused! I am just told to do slimming world or similar, I HAVE TRIED THAT IM NOT AN IDIOT. Ahhh needed that clearly.

I have to agree op. From my own experiences.

Several years ago now I started experiencing some numbness in one leg. I went to my gp. It was immediately blamed on my weight. So I lost weight but by now I was getting pins and needles, vertigo and double vision. This was blamed on menopause. Then the vertigo became so bad I lost a ridiculous amount of weight due to the sickness from the vertigo, gp insisted it was stress but did refer me to a neurologist.

After waiting almost a year I saw the neurologist. One of the first question he asked was "what was your childhood like". I was puzzled as to what this had to do with my symptoms. He offered no tests and told me this was phycological and diagnosed me with a functional neurological disorder. I was then referred to a psychiatrist who specialised in FND. I spent a whole bloody year dragging up my abusive childhood and reliving it as the psychiatrist was adamant that the more I talked about the abuse the better my symptoms would become. They didn't. In fact I got worse.

Very suddenly one summer morning I became incontinent. I attended A and E as it was a weekend. Finally a doctor listened and admitted me. I had an MRI scan and was diagnosed with muscular sclerosis within days.

To say I was angry is an understatement.

Now last year my DH mentioned he had a numb thumb and some tingling in his elbow. Off he goes to the gp who immediately referred him for a scan!!!!!.

It's pretty crappy being a women eh

Yes! I have been told for 4 years that my problems are purely weight and Menopause related and I needed to take Paracetamol and take up Park run. In desperation I got an appointment with an extended hours service GP, who had read my notes and actually listened to me, I finally got a Hospital referral and have been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. Not something to celebrate but atm a relief compared to being treated as a mad, Menopausal Malingerer.

Overweight (well, obese) here too - but of course didn't you realise? Being obese means you must be stupid. It's taken me a long time to learn that (just proves I'm stupid) because apparently losing weight is easy. But see here, what I don't understand is, if it's easy, why can't I do it? I'm really really good at easy things. In fact easy things are what I do best. But then, I'm stupid - and fat - well stupid because I'm fat (or maybe fat because I'm stupid). Hope this enlightens you! 😉

Not me but my mum. Fobbed off for four years by her male GP when presenting with classic Parkinson’s symptoms. Stress and lifestyle apparently. My dad presented with similar and was immediately referred for further testing. Dad didn’t have it but mum has. Starting treatment when she first went to her GP would have made a huge difference to her quality of life now. I’d love to make a complaint about the incompetent idiot but mum is worried it will reflect badly on her as it’s the only GP surgery in her area.

Ugh. I feel you. I’ve recently started seeing a food coach who has explained exactly what the medication did to my body and how to get it working again. It’s a slog but it is making a difference (slowly). Nothing else did. Of course I understand dieting and exercise. I don’t understand how my cells have been suppressed by a medication and how to get them working properly again!!

@SparklePopRampage

I hope it all works out for you!

how did you find her & how would I know someone was actually on the level and not just some charlatan??

She’s a peer on a therapy qualification I'm on, she wants to add therapy to her skill set. I’ll send you her details!

Rant away OP.

My last male GP was a ridiculous joke. I went to see him repeatedly over 5 months with abdominal pain. He decided I had IBS and I should drink more water (I don't drink anything else). It got worse, he refused to do anything, told me I was a woman of a certain age seeking attention. 😡It was the only issue I'd seen a gp for in a decade. And I wasn't overweight. Neither made any difference. He clearly believed he was God and I should accept the word of the Almighty.

Then I collapsed in a&e having gone there at 3am in agony. I had an ovarian dermoid the size of a grapefruit, which had twisted and turned necrotic. I had sores all up my back, a raging abdo infection and needed a 5 hour op to sort me out. Lost an ovary & tube.

The hospital consultant had a word with the GP senior partner, and they made him come in to the ward and apologise. 🙄

I've had female GPs ever since. Who are lovely and do listen.

You're definitely not taken seriously as a woman in general, and even more so if you happen to be overweight.

When I was early 20s I saw my GP repeatedly for absolutely agonising stomach pain that happened randomly over the course of a year. They stopped me being able to function when it happened but male GP was adamant this was normal cramps/hormones/menstrual cycle associated pain.
A year later, blue lighted to hospital in agony - acute pancreatitis as a result of undiagnosed gallstones and an accompanying 1 month intensive care stay

And in a recent appointment in a completely different practice (as an overweight almost 40yo), was confidently told by male GP that if I lost weight and improved my health my migraines (that I've had since I was a skinny teen) would definitely improve 🤬

I've been told by the menopause specialist nurse at my GP Practice not to bother seeing my female GP for any menopause issues. The GP doesn't believe that menopause causes such a wide range of symptoms and that too many women are overmedicated and HRT is not really necessary.

Fortunately we have the nurse who can prescribe whatever is needed and organise referral to specialists when needed.

I wouldn't necessarily expect any better from a female GP ime so prepare yourself.

I have chronic health issues and the things I find help with getting appropriate treatment/ not being fobbed off are:

• identifying the doctors at the practice who won't immediately dismiss you and only see them.

• do your research and go prepared. Have a clear list of all your symptoms, any suggestions you may have as to what could be going on, and ask for any particular investigations/referrals you think may be appropriate. Preferably in writing and then ask them to save it in your notes. It's harder for them to fob you off when everything is written down and recorded. It also means you don't leave the appointment thinking "oh buffering should have said/mentioned/asked for x"

• If the GP disagrees with you ask them why and what they suggest instead.

• If they try to immediately blame on psychiatric cause, or functional disorders, or diagnoses of exclusion, ask that they rule anything physical out first.

• stay calm and polite but be insistent - have it in your mind all the time that this is a consultation and your view should be taken into account, and there should always be informed consent to any treatment/investigation/referral. And that a doctor's opinion is just that, an opinion. If you aren't happy with it and don't think it's well considered, see someone else.

Good luck.

They don't listen to women full stop. There have been studies that prove it.

Took my daughter 14 years to get the care she needed. 14 years. Contributed to her being a lot worse than she needed to be.

I have 2 GPs. The private one does all my consultations and the NHS one just fills the first one’s recommendations. I’d never trust my NHS GP surgery with anything more than that.

I agree completely. I've been to the doctors about stomach/pelvic pains recently and been brushed off immediately as hormonal and told to take evening primrose oil (after the doctor googled the symptoms). Also went to breast pain recently and told that it was hard to examine them because 'I have very large breast' (i.e fat) and that it's probably fine. Even though I was worried because my mum had breast cancer at 40. Don't feel listened to whatsoever. Everything is hormonal apparently and even if it was, why should I just live with that?

More on the gender gap in health care;

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-sexist-stereotypes-mean-doctors-ignore-women-s-pain-a7157931.html

It's even more than this. Women's health is not well researched and doctors aren't educated on it. I was diagnosed with PCOS as a teenager. But no doctor has actually ever explained concepts like insulin resistance or being able to offer advice on weight loss. The closest I ever got was being given metformin which has never had any sort of impact on me at all. And yet a large number of women suffer from PCOS. It's outrageous.

It is not just overweight women.

After my second child my breasts were no longer the same size. My GP told me that it is normal.

As I found out later, it is normal because breast cancer is normal.

All three oncologists said that breasts becoming unequal in size is a very obvious sign of breast cancer. Apparently GPs don't know that.

Oh good god yes. Until I finally found my current GP, every single appointment (even, hilariously, for an anal fissure), whatever it was, I was told that my weight was the reason (I have been chubby my whole life, believe me, I know what's normal for me and what isn't!).

I've been referred to dieticians a couple of times. If one more person pulls out a fake chicken breast, or tells me that it should be about the size of my fist while looking at me earnestly I don't know what I'll do.

Not least because I'm 5' tall - the meals they show me, the 2000kcal thing - that's weight gain for me. I maintain at 1200 - it's been a long time, I know what I need to eat/do to lose weight, it's just too hard (until mounjaro anyway)