Homeless lady in bus shelter - anything I can do to help

[GoldOnyx]

I didn’t know who to talk to about this in real life (apart from my Dad) or where to post this on here. Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post - as it’s a feminism-related forum, I thought it might fit in here perhaps. I know it’s a bit of a random post. If there’s a more suitable forum, I’ll ask MNHQ if they can move it.

I was at the local bus station with my Dad just now and a lady comes up to us and says she’s homeless and asks if we can spare any change for her. Her face looked very bruised and sore, with a black eye, and she didn’t have many teeth. She looked quite young - anything from early twenties to early thirties. I’m not sure though.

I don’t quite know how to say this, as this is going to seem quite selfish and like I’m making it all about me. That is not at all my intention. What I’m trying to say is that I found it shocking and upsetting to see her face looked so painful. When she came up to us, she had a sandwich in her hand, and I think it was good she was eating something, as I imagine it’s not easy for her to get food. I don’t know.

Anyway, when she came up to us, I felt really shocked by her appearance and when she asked if we had any change we could give her, I said I was really sorry and I didn’t have anything. My Dad gave her some money. I should have given her something and I didn’t. I realise that. And I’m very sorry I didn’t. I don’t know what I want this thread to achieve, really, apart from I didn’t help and I really want to do something to help her. It’s horrible that she is homeless (as it is when anyone is homeless) and it was so shocking to see how she looked. I really want her to be safe.

I’m going to have a look to see if there any local services for homeless people that I can call to see if they could keep an eye out for her and help her. Has anyone been in a similar situation before?

Thanks all.

You could contact an organisation called Streetlink which helps people who are sleeping rough.

Sadly, there is nothing you can do. I'd guess she's a drug addict. We're wired to try and fix a problem but this isn't for amateurs no matter how well intentioned we might be.

Second vote for contacting Streetlink..If she's local, she may well be known to the street outreach teams and they are best placed to help.

Thanks very much all. I appreciate your posts.

I did think Streetlink would be an option, as I’ve heard of them and used them before, but it looks like they are only available for people who are sleeping rough rather than people who are homeless but aren’t necessarily sleeping rough. Given that, I decided not to contact them as I didn’t think they could help.

Instead, I found an email address for the local council that’s to do with queries relating to helping people who are homeless, so I’ve messaged them and described the lady’s appearance and what she was wearing. The lady looks like she’s in a really horrible situation and I wanted to do something. I probably should have given her money just to ease what she is going through, but I didn’t know what to do in the moment, so I didn’t.

The town I’m in is fairly small, so perhaps the lady will be known to the council. I really hope they can help her. I suppose that she would have helped her already if they thought they could, but I know that services and support for homeless people has been really poor over the last few years. I’m really hoping they might be able to help her now. I’ll give them a ring next week to see if there’s anything they an do.

You sound lovely op. Definitely reach out to see who can help but also remember to protect yourself. It is unlikely you can solve this lady's problems. Being kind to her if you see her and reporting her situation is probably the limits of what you can achieve. You might want to get involved in a local homeless charity if you want to make a difference personally.

Thanks so much, Lovelyview - your post was very kind. I feel quite guilty as I wasn’t kind to the lady when I saw her. I mumbled to her that I was really sorry and didn’t have any money to give her, which I’m annoyed at myself for doing as giving her some money would have helped her in a short term way and it was what she wanted. It broke me to see how vulnerable she was.

Ah don’t worry about feeling you did something wrong. She will be asking dozens of people a day and will have forgotten you both by now.
Generally on here people recognise that giving money isn’t helpful so you actually did the right thing.

It's possible she is not homeless but is in some other horrible circumstances like domestic abuse and addiction.

Thanks so much Sfxde24.

I saw this lady in the bus shelter in the town where my family live (medium-sized market town in England), as I was visiting family there.

I normally live in London, which is obviously enormous and there are a lot of people there who are sleeping rough or who don’t have a home to go to, but it can be harder to support them as they might move around a lot as London is so big, so they won’t necessarily always be around the same area. (I presume this lady who I saw in the bus shelter is fairly local).

As a general question to anyone on this thread, is there anything else I should do/should have done, or could do in future in a similar situation, do you think? Thanks very much @Lovelyview for your suggestion to volunteer with a homeless charity, which is a really good idea.

The charity Shelter could probably have offered advice.

That’s a good idea, thanks! I’ll look at their site and see what they say.

Sorry for not replying earlier - for some reason, I missed your post. That’s a very good point and could well be the case. I just really hope she gets the help and support she needs. I’ll follow up my email to the council with a call to them on Monday to see if they can help.

I know there are so so many vulnerable people in the U.K. and in the world who need lots of support and aren’t getting it, which is very upsetting and is something I think we can only seriously solve if we all pull together properly, but seeing her today really struck a chord and I do feel regret and guilt that I didn’t properly help her at the time when she approached me.