Sexist co-worker

[correcta]

A man I work with repeatedly makes misogynistic jokes and tries to put me down.

He invited me to a meeting and when I turned up he was shocked that I was in attendance. I asked if he wanted me to be there as it sounded like he didn't and he said - "oh no, you're welcome and with that attitude you can come to every meeting and do all the work that goes with it."

He is ok with another female colleague but she will smile and nod to his monologue for hours. I zone out as I am not interested and have work to do.

Any advice on how to deal with him? Am I too cocky or not nice enough? Have bad attitude?

Is he senior to you?

What kind of misogynistic jokes is he saying?

Regarding the other behaviour you're going to meet bores throughout your working life. Just nod, smile and keep away from him. If he insists on droning on just say Great to talk but I'm so busy. Maybe catch up later. Then turn your back on him or start typing.

Senior yes

What kind of misogynistic comments is he making? Do you have any examples?

About women in general. He has also said, if you're offended then tough.

I'd act as if he was invisible except when it is absolutely necessary to speak to him regarding work, and then I'd be super civil but not fawning or girly. I'd be very pleasant to all other members of the team who behave well and completely ignore his monologues.

If there is a good HR dept, I might consider reporting him.

It's completely inappropriate to make woman hating remarks in the workplace and to tell you it's tough and you have to take it. Is he calling women misogynist names as well?

If you've got access to the employee handbook that should tell you the appropriate process for putting in a grievance.

Start keeping a diary of his remarks. I would contact ACAS for advice or see your union.

Check policies on sexual harassment. Context your shop steward and record everything

Get a little note book, a real one. And every time he makes one of his remarks make a bit fuss of getting it out and writing in it, making sure he sees you write in the book. Could be you are writing a happy thought for the day , or your shopping list. But he is not to know that. A big smile, book put away, then “So sorry Jeff, just had to make a note for HR while it was fresh in my mind. Now, where were we.”

'Am I too cocky or not nice enough? Have bad attitude?'
Absolutely not.
All the onerus is on him for sexist unprofessional behaviour and going out of his way to make colleagues feel uncomfortable.
The only one who 'benefits' is him, not you and not the company.

In short he is bullying you, its a powerplay.
Agree about previous good advice to keep a diary for ACAS or union.

"I'm not offended, just kind of bored. I'll be getting on with my work now. Great talk."
He'll be too dumb to know for sure that "great talk" is sarcasm, especially if you deliver it in a flat voice with a blank facial expression. Blowhards absolutely hate to think they are bores, so he may avoid you more. Or he may be vindictive. If you think he will get revenge it's probably best not to say anything, but the blank facial expression will say enough.

I like that idea. Or she could type it into her phone. "Hang on a sec. That remark was so side-splittingly funny and devastatingly clever that I'd like to share it with everybody. ××× and ××× (names of people senior to him) will love it." The expression on his face would be priceless.

Get a notebook and put on the front cover "blank's misogynistic jokes". Every time he makes one of those comments make a big production out of opening the cover and writing it down. Make sure you put the date, context, and who was there.

I'm missing the misogyny... he's a dick, sure, but nothing you've said so far directly points to comments against women.

I think we need more examples. The attitude comment could easily have been directed at a man.

If it was being said to lots of people then it would be seen as needlessly demotivating. Its like a child calling other children "swots" for doing their homework. With the "surprise" that she turned up at the meeting and the implication that she can do all the work if you are so eager. Really really not what you want your senior manager to be doing to colleagues.

So, its either sexist (he is doing it because she is a woman) or its really terrible management (he is getting at people for wanting to do their jobs)

This is grim. What's your company culture like? Do you have a good line manager who you could flag this informally to?

Have a series of come backs to hand

No I'm not offended
...you can't be offended by someone's ignorance
...I'm 70 years ahead of you, I'm in the 2020s and you're still back in the 1950s
...I'm focusing on positive energy so I'm not listening to you
... I'm secure in my position, skills & knowledge. I see no need to try & belittle those around me

And keep a log of his awful behaviour, with verbatim quotes where possible.

make notes: dates, times, location, anyone else present

go to HR with it.
Be ready to lose your job, so pre-empt it by getting your CV up to date and apply for jobs.

I am from the United States, so I am not sure of the policies for work in your country. In case this helps,..

File a complaint, starting with your manager, then Human Resources.
Put the complaint in writing, via email, and blind copy your personal email address.
Putting it in writing will make them more likely to take action, than if you complained verbally.
Also, the bcc: helps in case they retaliate. You have evidence to file a retaliation complaint.

I wish you the best. I know those situations can be stressful.