Men yelling things while out running

[Prapsfound]

I think I am just here to rant 🙈. Out running recently and a man hailed me down as if he wanted to talk to me, so much that I took my headphones out and said ‘pardon?!’. He then yells ‘you’ll put all that weight back on when you go clubbing!!’. Another time I was out running and a man walked out of a bush doing up his flies, he’d just gone for a wee. Didn’t even look embarrassed. Why are they so horrible? Why did that man have to yell that to me? I can’t imagine a women ever stopping a man out running and shouting comments about his weight or fitness.

This is a massive issue for female runners. I absolutely hate it.

I have trained myself to think 'your issue with women is not my problem's when this happens. Had to force this thought into my mind to start with, now it's almost automatic and comments bounce off me more.

Still pisses me off though.

The thing is it's not a new problem
I've not run for many years but when I did I've had young guys running along side me for a distance - and I don't mean actual runners, just guys hanging around outside a pub and thinking its a joke. It was actually quite worrying for me. And of course I used to get various comments about my weight.

Having said that my late DH who also used to go out running once got young kids laughing and making comments about his age and calling him grandad. That really upset him. So it's not always just women who get abused when they are running.

You'd think people would have something better to do wouldn't you ?

It's not just really annoying.its actually upsetting when it happens.

Ugh I used to work out at a park that had those exercise stands and a bloke in a mobility scooter was often there at the same time walking his dog. He'd just stop and watch and make 'encouraging' comments. Then sit there.
I don't want anyone to say anything. I certainly don't want an audience.

Just a few thoughts... I am from the United States, so I am not sure if this would help in your culture...

1). Don't run with headphones. Predators will target you for this. If you must have headphones, only use them in one ear so you can hear if someone else is approaching who is a problem.
2). Take pepper spray with you, just in case.
3). Perhaps adjust where you go running. When I went on long walks, I avoided main roads, since there tended to be more harassment there. Also avoid areas with a lot of trees; I have known someone who was attacked in a wooded area. Go through the developments instead - there is less harassment than the main roads and enough folks are around that you can seek out help if needed.
4). Check the time of day that you go out. I would go late at night, and there were very few people so less harassment. I had a friend who would jog through very rough areas of the city at very early hours of the morning, so she was completely fine.
5). If someone gives you a hard time, get very loud very quick, like wake-up-the-entire-neighborhood loud. People will back off.
...
(the list goes on)

I am very sorry you had this experience. It is very unfortunate that women have to adjust their lives so much for men behaving badly. It gets ridiculous and crazy. Men need to change their behavior.

Despite this, enjoy your running! I hope you achieve your next goal.

Yeah this put me off running outdoors too. Teens would run with me and now I only run off road. Awful isn’t it.

Pepper spray is illegal in the UK.

I run three times a week and have learnt the routes where this is a problem, and those it is not.

Now I take a route that involves a small lane, a loop through woodland and then two more lanes to get home. Plenty of friendly dog walkers. I don't run near pubs. takeaways or garages/workshops.

Otherwise, just ignore them. The reason they shout is the fact you are out running makes them feel inadequate, they resent it and they want to bring you down. They're just a bunch of losers.

I run in busy areas, and always keep head down, headphones in and ignore any comments. It is annoying though.

I once had a man stick out his arm on a canal path when he saw me coming, so there wasn't enough room for me to pass. I think his aim was to make me stop so I would have to engage. I'm not sure what came over me but I just kept running, if anything sped up and at the last minute he lowered his arm. I wouldn't have done it if I had thought about it but there were loads of people about so must have thought it was worth the risk.

It's awful. I refuse to engage, make eye contact with any man while out running because I assume he could make comments. I try to blank out everything so I don't hear any shouts or catcalls. I feel safer when running in a group for sure.

It's your female socialisation that made you stop and remove your headphones when the man flagged you down. It's a hard thing to crack, but keep in the forefront of your mind that these random men have no agency over you.

I can’t imagine a women ever stopping a man out running and shouting comments about his weight or fitness

No me neither. But my husband has had various comments made by other men, probably more often than I have!

And I remember a thread in the Run Mummy Run group on Facebook a few years ago where various women were talking about all the aggro they get from other women.

The only time I've had proper aggro wasn't when I was running, it was when I was helping to coach. I've never been without my phone since then - they were nasty little sods. I've had the odd comment made from white van man, but I couldn't actually hear what they said!

Yes my mum had something similar when she was in a supermarket and a man rapped on her car window. She wound it down and he nicked her handbag which was on the seat! Fortunately he was a known toerag and there were witnesses - she got her bag back and he ended up in court. But I thought about how being antisocial has its advantages - I would have mouthed what do you want. I wouldn't have wound the window down!

Hairspray isn't though. Buy a travel size.

That’s why I run early in the morning: leave the house at 6am, back by 6.45 and rarely see anyone else bar passing cars. It’s shit that we have to modify OUR behaviour to avoid these cretins.

I run a fair bit (3k miles last year) and it never ceases to aggravate and occasionally scare me.

I rarely use headphones but if I do, I use bone conducting ones so my ears aren't covered and still hear what's going on.

I avoid the town centre and busy roads as much as possible, I prefer the canal towpaths, and rural roads. I'm not sure if they are safer, but because you meet fewer people it happens less.

On two occasions I have been really frightened. Once when a man pulled alongside asking for directions in his car who was naked below the waist, and once when a car passed me, turned in the road, drove towards and past me slowly , turned again to come up behind me, at which point I literally ran through a hedge away from them.

99% of the time men shouting ' well done love' etc are harmless and think they are helping, but they don't understand you as a runner don't know if they are in the dangerous 1 % or not, so its always unwelcome.

I just blank people now - I register that someone has bipped their horn or tried to get my attention or shouted something - I have trained myself not to react & pretend I didn't hear.

I have ignored friends and stuff in passing cars but that's a small price to pay I think

There's a distinct demographic of men who make sexist/objectifying comments in my experience - I lived for a decade in an area where I was an ethnic minority as a white British woman and I got catcalled/harassed twice while running. Both by white men. Once was quite scary as he tried to corner me in his car as I was waiting for the lights to change at a junction 😭

Not running but hiking through woods recently a man stopped me to ask for directions and then said "I won't remember that, I'll just follow you". OK so he didn't technically do anything wrong but I was very aware for the next half hour that I had a stranger following me and it really ruined it.

I don't run but I've had so many men, just men, try and get my attention while I have my headphones on just walking about, and when I take them off as it seems urgent, it just ends up being a "funny" comment. I end up saying "why did you interrupt my music for that?" 😂
When I walk past older men, guaranteed they are looking at me trying to get me to acknowledge them and I don't even glance their way
These types of men are desperate to be seen and acknowledged, while women want them desperately to fuck off.

That's awful!

And then the good men wonder why we're so unfriendly 🙄

But that is so creepy…I mean how could he be so un self aware that him following you in a wood wouldn’t be weird…were you alone?

So true

Ds, early 20s, had a group of teenagers shouting and laughing at him once.

People are just dicks.

I run with a group, often the only woman, and solo.
With the group it's usually kids who either shout encouragement or try to run along side us.
A small group of teenage girls once did a cheerleading chant for us!
Occasionally it's older youths in their 20s who shout "go for it".
I don't know why they need to comment but it doesn't bother us much.

I may have said this before but I am bloody 62. How can it possibly be the case that men STILL want to call out at me. I would say I never run without some man calling 'nice arse' that is a given, but once some wanker ran along next to me smacking my bottom!!
Millions of 'good for you love/ can I help you out of that wet t shirt? / Can't you go any faster?'
A police car even drew up once as some kid was literally running in circles around me calling out God knows what. This is always daytime in a well populated area.