Had enough really

[hotdogcharge]

I'm not feeling well and I've just had enough.

My mum wasn't a career mum and I copied her - I have no women in my life that are career women and after having kids was actively discouraged from returning to work.

But the cost of living happened. We couldn't afford the basics and I have recently returned to work in rubbish job. My colleagues are judgemental and I've had enough of their negative attitudes. It's begun to rub off on me.

My parents don't make an effort at all and sometimes I feel like they wouldn't be bothered if they never saw us again. They always complain they're too tired.

Growing up I always felt like a pain in the arse. Always too much.

I don't know why I'm typing this.

I'm sorry you're feeling down. Sounds like you are chafing at your life situation and looking for ways to make things better, and it's also affecting your self esteem.

I'd just say it's good to question the stories we tell ourselves, and it sounds to me like you are telling yourself several quite negative ones, here.

I found this really good for countering depressive thoughts:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

Hope you feel better soon.

It is so hard to work in a job you hate with people who aren't accepting and kind.
I don't know what the solution is except finding another job where at least the people might be better.
You say you are not feeling well. Physical? Mental?

Mentally not well. I want to change jobs I find the place crazy and unbearable. The amount of empathy and compassion in that place is zero.

Sounds like a good place to start. Have you got a job/career in mind?

I'm not trying to be harsh but this stood out to me:

My mum wasn't a career mum and I copied her - I have no women in my life that are career women and after having kids was actively discouraged from returning to work

It sounds as if youre blaming your mum and the women around you for your life.

My mum wasn't a career mum either. I never saw her work. She lived off benefits that were a pittance back then. I decided I was never going to live such a miserable existence and have 3 degrees and a professional career.

I was inspired to want better for myself. I'm.not sure it's anyone's fault you didn't choose another path.

How old are you? What qualifications do you have? Look at what you can do, not what you can't. I'm sure there are options.

I'm sorry you feel stuck op. Perhaps as well as looking for a different job you could look at free courses online or some local colleges do free courses. It's always worth learning something new.

@HowIrresponsible I guess youre right. I think I'm just trying to make sense of it all and I'm not where I want to be right now. And that is why. I need to switch things up.

I'm trying not to be harsh too, but the OP's post isn't about you or your achievements. You're obviously succeeded which is great but assuming from scant details that because you've done that, then the OP should be able to do so too is pure ignorance.An education that doesn't include compassion is a failed education imo. None of us can have any idea as to the burdens of others.

OP, if barriers were removed, what would you like to do? That's a start to turning things around. You have a lot of life left, small steps can make it a good one. You're not your parents.

God you have no idea.
My mum home educated me and we were poor. I barely passed any gcses and decided to go to adult college to resit them. All I could do were humanities as I hadn't been to school to study science and maths but I was always a reader.

Failed education yup another excuse.

If someone wants something badly enough they'll work for it or at least try.

Op says she copied her mum and didn't work - there's a limit to how much she can blame people around her.

@HowIrresponsible I agree with you. But sometimes it's the reason for it. But it's not the end. You have to recognise where you are and how you got there to work your way out. For example, you can acknowledge someone's hardship and say, yes that sucks. You can switch it around. Don't forget to empathise and say it sucks too.

I think take the time to think about what you enjoy doing, what you are good at or what you want to do. And then work out what you need to do to get a job in that area. E.g. If you want to work with kids, what qualifications would you need, can you do the part time (usually yes). Or alternative routes like teaching assistant to find out if you want work in teaching. Even if you are stuck working the shitty job for a while it's much better to know you are on track to be somewhere better. Especially if you're coworkers are horrid/snobby.

But use the dissatisfaction as a ladder out.

Good news is you are frustrated and unhappy. Use this as fuel to get up and out of your situation. You can fo it but first you need to be brave.
What's your dream job. Find out about it and the steps it takes to get there.
Very best wishes #GoGirl 😘😘😘