Can someone help me compose a letter to the hospital please?

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

I'm beyond angry and tired and have lost the art of putting my words across without getting bolshy and not being listened to.

My mother is in hospital and has had excellent medical care but has been moved to ward where male dementia patients are constant allowed to wander freely including the female ward.

They keep lunging at her/ her bed,thinking she's their wife / trying to get into bed with her and other female patients.

The staff seem totally blase about it and today I had to stand between my mum who was in a wheelchair and one of the men, who kept trying to get too close to her.

I made such a 'fuss' that they had proper security on the ward last night as I'd told my mum to ring 999 if anyone came in but today when I visited it happened several times again I told i insisted on the door being shut but even then there was lots of peering through the window .

She is understandably terrified. I feel sick about leaving her there and am also incandescent with rage that female spaces yet AGAIN aren't seen as important enough to protect.

There are 3 wanderers and so it's impossible for the staff to keep an eye on them.

I want to formally complain in writing,can someone help me gather my thoughts please and get a letter together?

Thanks in advance.

I think it might be a good move to imply you will take legal action. They probably aren't scared of complaints, but they should be scared of lawsuits. It's hard for me to say, as I'm not in the UK and don't know how easy it is to sue a hospital there.

I have no idea how easy it is so don't want to threaten what I won't carry through. I want assurance it won't continue to happen and patients ( including those with dementia) are kept safe.

This sounds awful, your poor mum. Noone should have to contend with that when they are sick and at their most vulnerable.

But I would try not to politicize the issue- This isn't a feminist issue about women's spaces. This is a safeguarding issue and I would address it as such in any correspondence.

The staff are failing to ensure the safety of not only your mum, but also the wanderers themselves as they might find themselves in danger depending on what or who they find.

Have you spoken to the ward manager or matron?

Give her a carving knife and tell the staff they have a responsibility to keep the men safe from her stabbing them.

Yes ,until I'm blue in the face. It is so unacceptable.

Have you spoken and complained to PALS? I'd also find their most recent hospital inspection for that department and check what that says re safety of patients. They have a duty of care and it is not being met.

Yes ,I did say yesterday they were failing to keep patients safe.

Im so sorry OP. It’s a safeguarding issue - ask for the contact details of the hospital safeguarding lead. They should also have a dementia lead nurse, ask to speak to them as well

If you want to speak to someone independent Alzheimer’s society have a helpline and should be able to advise

www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-us/contact-us

PALS will be my first port of call tomorrow morning,no one was there over the weekend.

Do you know what I should Google to access that info please? That's a good idea.

My blind old lady neighbour at my previous house was assaulted by an old man in a mixed ward. No idea if dementia was involved too. it terrified her, she died soon after she was immobile and very vulnerable. I would have absolutely sued if it had been my mother.

Hospital safeguarding lead- thank you, will do tomorrow.

Omg 😢

Good luck - it’s absolutely disgraceful that this is happening more and more frequently

I assume you're in England. Here's the contact details for safeguarding NHS. You could email them in the first instance for advice. I'd mark it urgent.

https://www.england.nhs.uk/safeguarding/how-to-get-in-touch/

"St Thomas's maternity inspection" for example will normally pull them up. You'll see a summary sheet and then a list of things in detail they need to work on. Will also tell you if they desperately need to improve on things!

Thank you.

My experience of the nhs was that wandering patients were viewed as just something to put up with - one man kept approaching my husband when he was immobilised and very unwell and the staff were bemused when I asked if there was a risk assessment as he was clearly not aware of his surroundings. Same with my mother, just ignored what they saw.

It's not about ringing 999 it's about speaking to the ward manager / matron escalation to ensure the behaviour is managed. It's extremely difficult to manage pts with dementia who wander and 1:1 support is not always available. Meet them again and come up with a plan. Unfortunately staff are regularly out at risk too by aggressive patients with dementia who can become very agitated and throw things etc. if the situation is unsafe it must be addressed.

As pp have said:
PALS and ask to speak to safeguarding team/lead
in addition, I’d suggested writing a concise letter to the ward manager, copy to the matron and PALS.
If it’s in writing there is less chance of there being a ‘misunderstanding’ that you are requesting urgent action

All wards are mixed. But bats are usually unisex. Is your mum medically fit for discharge could she go home?

Bays

I'd be tempted to buy your mum a rape alarm (or air horn). I hope she is moved to a safer ward soon.

Ask them for a Z bed so that you can sleep
next to your Mother as you don’t believe she is safe.

I’m so sorry that your family is going through this OP it’s a shocking situation.

I've ordered one this evening.

She wouldn't be there if she was fit to come home 😢 Really hoping there talk about discharge tomorrow, she's been in a week so far.