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Feminism: chat

Single Female Homeowner - Boundary Issues - Need Advice?

9 replies

AstridFahan · 21/06/2024 01:46

I am not sure if I should put this question in the Feminism chat or under Property, but here goes. I needed some advice about homeownership.

For single female homeowners, do you have increased problems with neighbors not respecting property boundaries? I purchased a home over five years ago, and I keep having problems with neighbors encroaching on my property to make permanent changes to it, and I have to politely/professionally tell them to stop. This keeps happening, to the point where I wonder if people think because I am female, they can just do whatever they want - which they can't; I own the property and paid for it - whereas if the homeowner were a man, they might not attempt these actions in the first place.

I have a busy / stressful life, as anyone does. I will just be minding my own business, then BAM! Some neighbor out of the blue starts an issue and I have to tell them to stop. In some cases, it costs me a lot of money and time (that I do not have) to fix what they screwed up. It is causing major headaches, and they do not have the right to do this in the first place. I am thinking that I need to become the town grump in order for it to occur to them to back off and leave my property alone. I would rather be the friendly neighbor, but if being a grouch means getting more peace of mind, then so be it. I am almost at a point of calling a lawyer, which I think when that happens one time, based on word-of-mouth, that should slow things down a lot (fingers crossed).

The issues I have been having are listed below:

  • One neighbor set up a security camera, that is angled in such a way that it can see into the windows of my house. I constantly have to keep the curtains shut. I will have to create a privacy hedge to block them, which will be a lot of work. Note that all of my yards are being video taped by my neighbors, which is not cool for me - I highly value my privacy.
  • Another neighbor built a fence on my property. When he was first mapping out where he was going to build, I told him that it was over the property line. He ignored me and built there anyway. I think he also removed old survey markers that showed that he was over the line - which is illegal. I am going to have to pay for a new survey to be done and hire an attorney to address this, which is going to be expensive.
  • Another instance, a neighbor set up a motion sensor light, such that its field of view was mostly over my property and a small portion of his own property. When I walked around one side of my house at night *or even walked into my front door* his motion light turned on. I talked to him a couple days later and to his credit he moved it within two hours. (I should not have had to do that in the first place.)
  • In yet another instance, I had neighbors, who live five houses away from me, come and trim my trees in the front yard. I filed a complaint with the Homeowners Association (HOA) about this, which is still pending. I read the HOA contract, and they are not allowed to do this. The property management company is still reviewing the complaint.

What are your thoughts? It just seems like very abnormal for me to have to deal with this on a regular basis. I grew up in the countryside, and this was a non-issue. I have lived in other developments since then (not as the homeowner), and this was never a problem. I am wondering if other people see me as a single female homeowner and perceive me (incorrectly) as vulnerable and try to pushover on me.

Have any other single female homeowners had this issue? It is not fun.

Thanks.

OP posts:
mt9m · 21/06/2024 02:08

Neighbours 5 houses away cutting trees on your private land is utterly bizarre!

As a female homeowner I had neighbours that I felt took advantage in that they put their rubbish and noise all at my boundary, and not at the man on the other side. They had silly demands and treated me as a pushover. I was in my 20s and the neighbours in their 60s so it could've also been an age thing and lack of respect.

XChrome · 21/06/2024 03:03

These are legal issues, so you are right to hire a lawyer to sort them out. It may also be illegal to have his camera in a position to see into your home in your jurisdiction.

I have had all kinds of problems with asshole neighbours over the years, both when I was married and now that I'm single. You being a single woman might be a factor and it might not.
I currently have a neighbour who is a bit of a stalker. He harassed and tried to intimidate me on several occasions. Then I had a male friend come over and do some work in the yard, then stroll slowly past the guy's house with me to be sure he was seen. He hasn't bothered me since, so in this case it was probably because he thought I was single. Now he thinks I have a boyfriend. I was prepared to take legal action, but I thought it was worth a shot to try that first.
I'm thinking you do need to take legal action though.

kiwiane · 21/06/2024 07:48

Does your home insurance not cover boundary disputes? In the UK we have the local Council Planning Department and the Land Registry so maybe it’s easier to raise a dispute before it goes to law. The security cameras would not be allowed either.
I agree it is harder for lone women to be heard and that neighbours are more likely to encroach on property if they think they’ll get away with it.

BeanBeliever · 21/06/2024 08:15

I am a single female home owner; I think people can try it on and they think a woman is a pushover. But this is the same in all spheres of life (eg at work, poor service when out etc)

The fence IS an issue: are the other 2 issues so important?

What makes me laugh is neighbours think I am a divorcee… because why should I as a single woman be able to afford the house they bought as a couple without having taken some man’s money?

PurpleSparkledPixie · 21/06/2024 08:30
  • One neighbor set up a security camera, that is angled in such a way that it can see into the windows of my house. I constantly have to keep the curtains shut. I will have to create a privacy hedge to block them, which will be a lot of work. Note that all of my yards are being video taped by my neighbors, which is not cool for me - I highly value my privacy.

I would imagine that is a police matter and could fall under either harassment or voyeurism (?). Anyway, contact the police first, lawyer second, hedge third.

Boundary fence issue will have to be a property solicitor unfortunately but do you have legal advice on your house insurance?

Motion light has been dealt with, that was lack of thought which the other person rectified as soon as they knew. I would file that under shit happens.

A neighbour from 5 houses away cutting your trees is beyond weird so I would assume one of your neighbours affected by the trees is a relative of theirs. Would it be classed as a criminal act and a police matter? Otherwise a desist letter from a solicitor might be enough if your housing complaint gets nowhere.

You've mentioned yard rather than garden - are you from the UK?

AstridFahan · 22/06/2024 02:22

Thank you for all of the feedback on this issue. The advice is much appreciated. My sympathy goes out to the other women, who have also had difficult neighbor issues.

In response to the various points made,

  • I am in the United States.
  • Regarding the camera issue, I did talk to the police, and the camera is actually legal as long as it is not pointed at a private area like a bedroom and as long as the person is not actively harassing me. It was interesting, in that I received two different responses, based on talking to female and male police officers:
  • From the female police officer: Unfortunately it is legal (for reasons described above). The police department gets a lot of complaints about that. She recommended I talk to county politicians to pass a law about it.
  • From the male police officer: He mentioned he has cameras at his home that also cover a neighbor’s property. It’s just a part of life, and he recommended I might not want to ruffle feathers with the neighbors by filing a police report…. Bleh.
  • Ultimately, I am going to have to build a privacy hedge that is tall (4 meters) and wide, to block the view.
  • For the property line/fencing issue, I am going to have to pay for a formal survey and lawyer, which would cost about 1500 USD / 1200 GBP. It will be time-consuming and expensive. My title insurance is pretty lame, unfortunately.
  • The neighbor from five houses down probably trimmed the trees because they thought the branches on one tree were too long for the sidewalk (I was planning to handle that on my own a week later, if they had not gotten to it). The other tree was not affecting the sidewalk, and they trimmed it so they would find it more aesthetically pleasing. Still waiting on feedback from the HOA on that one.

I think I am going to have to finally call the surveyor & lawyer and get the property line issue resolved. I really should not have to deal with this, plus I don’t have the time, but whatever. Hopefully, getting a lawyer involved will get the message across to neighbors that they should stop messing with my property.

Thank you for your support.

OP posts:
Notstopoil · 22/06/2024 02:31

I’m not sure I’d put this down to being a single woman, but you state you’re in the US, so obviously attitudes vary tremendously across the country.

BeanBeliever · 22/06/2024 11:06

@AstridFahan : for your windows, have you thought about sheer privacy blinds

I have similar to these on all my downstairs windows that are overlooked, mainly for security- it’s no one’s business if I am home or not

These look ok and REALLY work … one of my friends who was invited to a party and arrived late left cos he couldn’t tell if we were home or not!

https://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-anyday-sheer-roller-blind/p3198146?size=W91%20x%20Drop%20160cm&s_ppc=2dx92700079681389474_brand_mixed_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw7NmzBhBLEiwAxrHQ-X0PsQnrqKaiMGcYJlrE8pT57QrzXmF0Y7f_s_r8Jfajg51RuMNNtBoC6vEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

BeanBeliever · 22/06/2024 11:10

Re the tree: I think you should let this go

i have a tree that overhangs the pavement. I trim it to avoid it getting in pedestrians way/blocking driver’s visibility of pedestrians (this is SO important from a safety perspective): if you were not to j top of it I think that’s reasonable of your neighbour

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