What's the deal with Ben Affleck

[jennylamb1]

Giving away my age but have fond memories of the 'Bennifer' days and love Jennifer Lopez. However after they got married it seems as if Ben Affleck has treated her pretty crappilly and as if she is always having to placate him, while he slams car doors, waves his hands around in her face and generally looks utterly miserable. Now she's apparently looking to divorce him and he's having a breakdown. What's the deal with him?
I know I shouldn't be so invested by the way.

I have not thought about Bennifer for a long time. I thought they broke up.

I'm not sure this should be in the Feminism board but I've always thought she's too good for him.

I grew up in Boston and know plenty of guys like him, whenever a woman is speaking or needs something his eyes just glaze over.

I think he’s got a drink/drug problem. She is trying to save him. Sounds like she’s had enough.

They got back together again and married in 2022

I believe that he’s an alcoholic and drug addict which contributed to the demise of his marriage to Jennifer Garner too

He’s an addict. He’s self-centred. He’s just not got it in him to be the best version of himself. Most addicts have no business trying their hand at marriage. Addicts cope terribly with stress and can’t be responsible for others. Addicts can’t show up. I don’t know why on earth he married her. He’s a hot mess at the best of times.

Did you see JLo’s documentary? It’s painfully obvious Ben was not happy with her sharing their relationship in such a public way but she went ahead regardless & didn’t seem to care about his feelings whatsoever. She shared the personal letters he had written to her - without his knowledge or permission - with all & sundry & he only found out about it when people started going up to him & calling him “Pen Affleck”; a third party literally had to tell him that they’d all been reading his private letters to her. Now technically those letters are her property to do with as she pleases as he wrote them to her but from a relationship point of view, I’d say that’s incredibly disrespectful.

Obviously he’s no saint & has his own demons (alcohol / drugs) but she’s no angel either so I wouldn’t be so quick to pin all the blame on him.

I guess it's a kind of self-destruction. I read a couple of articles saying that he has a huge amount of alcoholism in his family, his brother went to rehab, his paternal auntie committed suicide whilst addicted to drink and drugs. I understand that it's a disease however as his wife was it must be lot to deal with.

Fair point, haven't watched the documentary. She seems extremely career driven, whereas he does seem to have problems with fame.

He's an alcoholic in early recovery. She thought she could 'save' him, and he jumped in too early. Obviously, I'm just guessing. My brother is a dry alcoholic, sobriety is hard and you have to change everything thing in your life, once you do you can never go back.

I’m awaiting the inevitable chat with Dr Gabor Mate over addiction issues. I like the Dr but hope he steers clear of these kinds of celebrity chats!

QueenOfTheLabyrinth She is a total exhibitionist. I mean in all honesty, as an addict, which comes with so much fragility, marrying an attention loving celebrity is probably not going to end well. The whole Hollywood lifestyle is the antithesis of what he needs, given his demons.

I agree he comes across as a complete mess. However, I also think she's very self-centred and probably likes to be treated like a princess. I read a fairly recent interview with her and she was talking about how unique she is because she can act, she can sing and she can dance. She was basically saying there's no one else like her and she's an amazing role model for the Hispanic community. I've never heard anyone talk about themselves in such glowing terms!!
I couldn't be with someone like her or someone like him!

Some tabloids seem to hint that he’s annoyed at the pap walks etc side of celebrity that J-Lo is ok with.

You should really watch the documentary, it completely changed my opinion. Saying she’s career driven is putting it mildly, she comes across as completely self centred & full of her own self importance to the point of being deluded; I couldn’t believe some of things coming out of her mouth & her level of arrogance. I’m not surprised their relationship is in trouble to be honest, it jumps out of the screen how unhappy Ben was with the invasion of privacy & she didn’t give a shit.

The best bit is that she produced the documentary herself so no one can say she’s being misrepresented or things are taken out of context; she actually must think she comes across well in it.

He’s an addict, she’s crazy, always going to be a recipe for disaster.

Don’t people remember how she slagged off all those other actresses in the 90s and she has had a reputation for a long time of being rude to female interviewers.

Yes, it does seem as if fame can be incredibly corrosive, I imagine that you can lose your moral compass fairly quickly.

Here’s what she had to say about other actresses in a 1998 interview (added an image so people don’t have to click on links).

her opinion of herself is sky high even by Hollywood standards and the whole love documentary was about convincing the world how great their love story is. I don’t think anyone cares and Ben is clearly dulling the cringe factor with booze.

Is she wrong though in these assessments...

Its not true for Salma and Gwyneth now but might have been in 1998.

He tries to go about his business locally but the paparazzi make his life impossible. She seems like a complete narcissist.

Summed it up perfectly

1. It’s not about whether she’s wrong in her assessments or not, it’s that she should never have made these assessments in an interview in the first place. Trash talking other women in her industry - PUBLICLY - for no reason at all, speaks to her character.
2. It shows she grossly overestimates her own acting ability because she’s not exactly Meryl Streep, is she? She should be the last one to throw stones about doing “the same thing with every character”. It shows how big her ego is & that she lacks humility.
3. No it wasn’t true of Gwyneth at that time. Shakespeare in Love was out at the same time as this interview which she won the Oscar for. By her own admission, she can’t remember seeing anything with Gwyneth in so why automatically assume she was only “hot by association” because of Brad Pitt rather than her own acting talent? It’s just being nasty for the sake of it.