Sexual harassment or something else?

[Lopps]

I am a mature student undertaking a professional degree at university.

There is a man who is also on the course who is beginning to make me feel really uncomfortable. He just comes out with things that are totally unrelated to what we are working on what we are having a conversation about.

totally unsolicited he said to a group of us “when I wank I look in the mirror”

Again, unsolicited, he told us he ‘fancied’ one of our lecturers and said he would “totally smash her”.

We are now doing group work and in written communications he sends me a kissing emoji.

It’s really getting to me. I don’t feel comfortable in his presence. I’m just not sure what to do.

This sounds quite unpleasant @lopps. Do lecturers hear these inappropriate remarks? Do you know if others on the course feel uncomfortable too?

No lecturers have heard the comments. The second comment we were doing group work and so 7 of us were in a small classroom. The others kind of groaned and turned away from him when he made the comments but nobody said anything to him.

We are completing the group work over the next couple of weeks and so I can’t avoid being in his company.

Surely there must be a department or an individual to report this to in the university? Similar to say if you reported something to HR in an organisation?

There is a process for reporting but I will still need to work along side him which is why I’m worried about making a complaint.

As @TheHighPriestess1 suggests, report - to the course leader and/or student welfare officer. Better for two or three of you to report so it can't be interpreted as a personality clash. The wank comment is so beyond the pale I wonder if there is an issue.

You don't need to use the word complaint. You can talk about 'having concerns' and 'feeling uncomfortable'.

I'd be surprised if they forced you to keep working with somebody you reported for sexual harassment.

Do not engage with him at all. Don't sit near him, don't speak to him, ignore any attempts at conversations, and above all - report the dirty git

I'm actually surprised that noone has turned round and said, "Dave, what the actual hell is wrong with you?" because he is so out of order and inappropriate that it's almost unbelievable. I think you really do need to raise your concerns with the university, he needs a serious bollocking.