Surrogacy/reality disconnect

[DeepHedgehog]

I hesitated to post this because it comes across as a personal attack on this woman/couple, which it is absolutely not. If anything, I admire them not being secretive about their reproductive choices. However, I was surprised at the depth of my feelings about this when I saw it (originally on Instagram) and can't get it out of my head.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13337199/Princess-Beatrices-pal-Alice-Naylor-Leyland.html

Why is the new mother in a hospital bed? She didn't give birth (and is very open about that fact, she's not pretending anything). Why not just put the father in a bed? It's like we're pretending that she has given birth to the baby and that the baby somehow knows who she is, her voice, her smell and so on. When in fact that cannot be the case.

I can't get my head around it.

But it should be on the feminist board because other than the rare cases of familial surrogacy it’s exploitation of women. Wealthy New York socialites are not carrying babies for poor Mexican immigrants are they

Exactly @Thewildthingsarewithme rich women don’t do this for poor women.
Wouldn’t take kittens away from their cats or puppies from their dogs. But this is ok?
No idea why she’s dressed up like she’s just given birth.

But I'm sure there's more to this woman than that.

I dare say there's much, much more to her than that @vincettenoir (and the baby also has a father, who isn't pictured at all). And I am very aware that, as a woman, the Daily Mail is not my friend - whatever life choices I might make.

In some ways the DM link is a bit of a red herring as it wasn't where I came across it, though I wouldn't have posted pics straight from Insta I don't think. Again, though, I think it's telling that I'm now double-thinking my right to publicly comment on the culture I'm part of, rather than that we can simply discuss it.

No wonder I'm so fucking fed up with all this and no wonder society hates us menopausal women. Because we see through all the fucking bullshit.

My hospital didn't- it's good for the baby's skin to let it be absorbed naturally.

Has anyone else listened to Dustin Lance Black's (husband of Tom Daley) podcast about surrogacy?

It was very interesting- he basically concluded that it was possible to 'do surrogacy' without exploiting women, although he acknowledged that, in most countries, surrogacy was exploitative.

However, at no point did he examine the impact on the baby of being taken from the woman whose body it has grown in for 9 months.

@LostInTheBog no, they should have left it on. My dad (rastafarian) told me not to allow them to wash the baby and ensure it kept it's natural moisturiser. One of the midwives smiled when I told her this and said when she gets it all over her hands she rubs it on her arms because it's "amazing". My DC were first washed fully 10 days post delivery and both had amazing skin. Babies should not be washed, they are born with a protective coating for a reason.

Lots of women can't have a DC, she already has 3 but thinks surrogacy is OK. No, if you're childless maybe, but not because you just wanted one more, that's just wrong in my mind

I agree with you 100%. It's a bloody dreadful business.