How to have sex

[Newstarto]

For anyone that has watched this (frankly uncomfortably brilliant) film about female consent. Has anyone ever got it as wrong as this male reviewer? I’m actually shocked this would be the male take on it - especially the end line. Do men really not see reality?

https://amp.theguardian.com/film/2023/may/19/how-to-have-sex-review-an-education-in-consent-for-24-hour-party-people

Stronger and happier than before?! Eh? That's insane??
It was an OK film, made me feel sick at that whole "holiday culture" though (I've never experienced a holiday like that myself so no idea if it's accurate). But it was absolutely disgusting, including the post-apocalyptic feeling of litter in the streets the morning after.
The consent thing was interesting. She clearly did not consent in the bedroom scene but the beach was different, she replied "yeah" although it was hardly enthusiastic. I thought it was good to show that pressure comes from women too, her "friend" was really quite awful and her attitudes completely affected by patriarchal expectations.

Wow, reading that review it sounds like the author watched a different movie 😳
I watched it with DH, I found it quite uncomfortable and didn't really enjoy it but was still thinking about it several days later which I suppose was the point. I found it interesting that DH and I had differing opinions on the consent issues raised, he probably had a similar take away to the reviewer while I found it rapey and was irritated about the poor quality sex straight women have to put up with 🙄

I've not seen the film, but the last line in review about 'should she just forget about it' is maybe more realistic than we give it credit for as the majority of women don't report rape/sexual assault. The thought process of 'is it worth it?' is probably sadly quite a common one.

Agree with this. Did she consent? Was she coerced? I didn't think it was black and white. I think that was the point as the review says.

I think the last few lines of the review were spot on.

Writing as someone who lost their virginity at 15 and remembers it in the way the film portrayed it very realistically I thought.

where can you watch it ?

I rented it on Prime

I strongly disagree that being raped - which is clearly what happens in the bed scene- is something which makes young girls ‘stronger and happier.’ I agree it’s not the kind of rape that gets reported, because it’s muddy waters, and a lot of us have been there. But it is. And it does not benefit women. It’s not ‘character building.’

@Thegoldgrind does your husband have daughters?!

@LatteFlatte

her attitudes completely affected by patriarchal expectations

Women aren't without agency. Or is the patriarchy to blame for every instance of unpleasantness shown by women?

Pointing out the role of the patriarchy isn't saying her actions are okay. The patriarchy helps set the agenda for cultural ideas on how women should behave and colours the experience and views of everyone, both unpleasant and pleasant.

Another movie exploiting sexy teenagers for pervy old men to watch then while pretending its a comic of age story then.
Anyway why would an 18 year old need to go to Malia rather than just the local nightclub? An absurd premise.

Just because the director is female doesn't make it OK.

I don't think something can be rapey. It's either coerced or not.