Do you carry a rape alarm?

[Superlambaanana]

Had written a long post about male responsibility but accidentally touched the screen and slid it away so lost it and haven't the energy to rewrite. Basically... i hate men and the fact rape is essentially legal....

I was frightened by a man when out walking earlier and now want to get something legal I can carry for when i'm out walking at night.

Read a review of a rape alarm by a woman who let hers off and it was ignored. People maybe thought it was a car or building alarm.

I used to push a key through a clenched fist when i was a student but don't have a bunch of keys these days.

So what else is there that we can carry that would be effective if attacked by a strange man?

Have a look at the hollieguard app, it's pretty good

Maybe I'm missing something but the personal safety apps seem like a gimmick

In the appalling event of a kidnap, or similar, it might be useful as evidence.

But if you're targeted by a mugger or attacker I imagine one of the first things they'd want is to get your phone off you.

I've got to do a couple of walks that concern me this week and I'm much more reassured by a flashing light and noise alarm, which I can carry in my hand and pull out the pin.

I'd like to try self defence but following a spinal injury, one of my biggest fears is if I get knocked to the ground, I might not get up again. I walk very slowly as well, post injury. Then there's the whole "how safe is a taxi" problem!

I often find that those who seek to minimise don't understand that either.

I hate that this influences so much of my life too. I hope I can return to driving.

I really recommend martial arts: something like BJJ or Krav Maga. Tbh it’s the kind of thing you have to keep doing forever to stand a chance of being able to use it, but ime it makes a huge difference to that feeling of fear. Good for fitness etc too.

I walk a lot on my own and never really worry about it or think about it.

Stranger rape is actually very rare, most rapes are by someone the victim knows. Yes it happens but not that often so I try not to let it take over my life. I think rape alarms are probably pretty useless, your probably better off spending your money on some self defence lessons.

It's not just rape though is it it

Ironically I've literally just heard there were two knifepoint robberies near the station in the evening rush hour. I don't know the exact location but I am surprised to hear that, it's a pretty busy walking route till you get out into the quieter residential roads.

I agree. I did self defence and karate to a quite good level and having to face a male opponent was extremely good training. It’s very different from facing a female opponent.

To people who say “but would you actually do it in a real emergency”, the defensive actions are taught as drills that you do over and over again, so it becomes automatic. You don’t have to think about it, you just act.

I carry deep heat spray.

Thanks Super

hopefully some of the suggestions on the thread help

better having lots of options even if you never need them than the opposite

A whistle wouldn't be as loud as an alarm, even when blown properly - which would be really hard to do in an emergency.

@Superlambaanana please don't be put off by the review, definitely carry a rape alarm and when you buy it, get the seller to let you check it works properly and prepare you for how deafening it can be! Quite a shock, and that's the point. Attackers, especially sexual predators are cowards, and want to be hidden assailants; so anything noisy that draws attention to them will usually work. Also get a stink spray; there's a reason skunks 🦨 are left well alone by far bigger predators. It will make you queasy so make sure you've got the nozzle directed outwards (practise grabbing it with your eyes closed and knowing how to spray away from yourself). Seeing your wannabe assailant throwing up will give you the confidence and time/chance to get away, whilst also later helping the police to identify him, (he'll stink for days!) unless he flees to the nearest car wash asap, which would make for some interesting cctv footage. Whistles won't work. Terror happens fast, so press a button on an alarm and spray in your hands, scream, run, act insane, speak gibberish etc, anything but freeze and give in to the shock. You absolutely can beat these guano lowlifes.

Thanks again for all the suggestions. One positive about the threat from men is solidarity from women.

What I was going to say. Women need to get over their irrational fears and get on with their lives. You’re far more likely to be injured or killed in a car but no one stops driving.

Women need to get over their irrational fears and get on with their lives

Must have missed my pp re random men approaching me due to rapist posting vt online - he’s essentially made every man that watches porn a threat - and since I can’t tell who watches or doesn’t until they sidle up beside me in the shop making creepy comments - that means, to me, it could be any man

And with the rising number of rapists and abusers who film and upload vt or stills to porn sites or even ‘just’ shared amongst friends then I believe women are actually more in danger of random men than ever before

And the above includes images/vt taken covertly or even consensually by sexual partners that is then shared with others without consent which dramatically increases the number of women at risk who may have zero idea that they are at risk

I suspect men who abuse women rather get off on them having no idea how much danger they are in, as much, if not more, than women knowing the danger and being afraid

I personally have clawed back quite a bit of life for myself, partly bc no matter how much damage the rapist has done, when I wake up I’m me, and when wakes up he has to face being him.

No I don't, I've never thought anyone would take any notice. I do carry my keys in my fingers if I feel unsafe, though suspect most men could easily overpower me.

I don't wear earphones when walking (even in the daytime), and if someone is acting suspiciously I'm more likely to stop, look at them, make sure they know I've clocked them and then look at my phone, call someone or start taking a video, rather than walk off faster.

But tbh... someone was stabbed in the middle of the day near where I work, for a phone. I don't think you can ever really prepare for an attack, and therefore I rarely worry about it. I walk alone through woods and fields, I walk alone through town at night, I just get on with my life and hope I'm lucky.

Why are you so scared? The risk of something happening to you is remote and not worth worrying about it every day?

A rape alarm only works if there are people around to be alerted...surely a scream or shout would work just as well, if not better.

You need to remember, most people are good, decent humans. Don't let a teeny, tiny minority bother you.

surely a scream or shout would work just as well, if not better

A scream.or shout is not as loud, is at a frequency that is more easily subsumed in general noise, and may not be physically possible.

The one time I set off a rape alarm was accidentally in the dead silent University library when I put a heavy book on top of it in my bag. (I was not trying to steal the book, my subject was on the 5th floor and I had been stuck in the lift for 2 hours the term earlier). Wish I had the bloody rape alarm that day to attract attention to my plight!

@Christingle123 and @Daisies12 and @ all the other minimising posters. I don't know where you live and how lovely your lives have been. But I've been repeatedly followed, in the street from childhood, sexually assaulted by a group of men as a child in the street, and various other creepy, harassing, shitty men have done various creepy, harassing, shitty things.

I know this place has a lot of creepy, harassing, shitty men on it, so I'm hoping it's just more of the same from men policing women talking. But the idea that strange men never do anything? Stupid nonsense.

Admittedly men I've known have also done creepy, harassing, shitty things. PP accused us of hating men. Remarkably, in the face of all this provocation, I don't. I wish they'd police their creepy, harassing, shitty brethren so we don't have to. But I know lots of great men.

In my case I carry a carabiner that fits neatly around my fist and spent many years doing martial arts. I'm old now so most of the nonsense has stopped. 13 yo DD gets it now though. 13 years old. FFS.

@Greentomatic
that would just make me feel more vulnerable and I wouldn't be able to anything with it that would stop 1 male attacking me, let alone several.

@Superlambaanana

I bought one online, said it was loud. I tried it in the middle of a field it was absolutely pathetic. I tried it at home (couldn't even hear it within the house, let alone outside.

i wanted one for inside the house as I'm quite vulnerable & live alone. I have a few neighbours that would help if I'd had a fall or something.

i wanted one for when I'm walking too as since covid many of the teens are a bit feral on the common & I now feel quite vulnerable, but also if I have a fall while out walking.

i do have my phone with me, but last time I fell it landed out of my reach. So no bloody use.

i think, for me, it's going to be a multi alarm approach, but I'm not sure what??

You can get mini hairspray or deodorants (look in the travel section but make sure it'snot a pump), they can be quite good and in the unlikely event of being questioned are completely legal and you have a good reason to have them.

Situational awareness is the main thing and if you are uncomfortable trust your instincts and get out of there. I would love to do Krav Maga as a martial art but I know that the biggest thing they teach is how to avoid getting into a situation and if you do then how to disable so you can escape. Fighting is the very last option.

I am so sorry to all of you have suffered this. And to the women who say this is irrational: I wish I had your life. It must be very comfortable.

@JingleSnowmanTree mine is ear splittingly loud. Was it malfunctioning maybe? I think you need a refund.

I warned my neighbours before testing it and they whatsapped "bloody hell" after I did it (in a flat). I was out on the balcony and passersby looked up.

think it's 150 decibels.

Here we go. 🙄

I find it a little odd your almost obsession with the rape side. Sorry but if you haven't ever been in the horrendous position it seems odd. Surely muggings are more common. Anyway having been in the abuse position it wasn't a stranger so nothing would have helped at that time

Another here to recommend regular martial arts training, especially over a set time eg 6 week self-defense course. Choose whatever martial art you enjoy and will go to weekly classes in. It will do wonders for your confidence to be able to walk anywhere alone, and you will always be equipped with something genuinely useful (I.e. you don't have to remember to carry a spray or alarm and always have it handy).

I have a coloured spray and I did have an alarm, when dog thefts were very high. I accidentally set the alarm off a couple of times and it was pathetic, and got weaker each time, so that was shit.