Not sure where to put this thread.... but I wanted to talk about this

[IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads]

The man who started The Samaritans died in 2007, and I have seen today that a blue plaque will be put up in his town. The BBC article about him gives the reason he starred the charity:

^He attended the funeral of a 14-year-old girl and asked the undertaker why the girl was being buried in unconsecrated ground.
He was told she had killed herself because she had mistaken menstruation for a serious disease.^

Now, I'm in my 50s. My mother is in her 80s and referred to periods as "the curse", and called sanitary towels "fluffies", but at least she told me! My own dd is 12 and started her periods just over a year ago. We'd been talking about menstruation on and off since she was 9 or 9 . She told me when she stated, and we've had an open dialogue about it ever since. Good grief, I can't even imagine what would go through the mind of a young teenager who had no idea. I don't doubt that there are girls now who don't know either.

Thank you Dr Varah, and to feminism for beginning to lift the taboo for some girls, on some societies.

Such a sad story of that little girl.

Thank you for sharing. It amazes me sometimes how much feminism has achieved in a relatively short period and how unaware newer generations of women are of the just very recent acquired rights and privileges and help.

My mother never talked to me about periods or bought me sanitary towels it was like it was her deepest, darkest secret.

Thankfully peers and school meant I had a different outcome from that young girl :(

I work in construction. 26 years ago when I stated work I was “bollocked” by a make director at work for claiming an extra 6 miles a day to go to the nearest big supermarket to use the facilities, for some preliminary site work before we had cabins on site - even then there wouldn’t have been separate women’s. Apparently I should have gone behind a bush like the blokes (1- not dignified for them either; 2- it December. Nothing had leaves on).

Now, , if we don’t have /need cabins, we have welfare vans with tiny kitchens, water boiler, toilets and sanitary bins! The younger women I work with are astonished when I tell them this story. Equally, I am astonished, that my boss was told that taking on a woman graduate was “an experiment to kept their wives happy” by her boss on her first day at work.

Such a sad story about that young girl.

My mum tells me that when she got married she had to reapply for her job. When she got pregnant she had to resign. Men weren't allowed in when a woman was in labour so my dad wasn't able to be with her

And at school she used to get the belt for getting sums wrong.

Some things have improved!

I'm 54. My mother never used the word 'menstruation' to me and I think she said 'period' once just before I went away on my own aged 12. She put some sanitary towels in my drawer (with those loops on them!) and left me to figure it out. Which I didn't, really. I don't think I really came to terms with menstruation until I had a partner who was relaxed about it in my late 20s. Sometimes I can't believe the walls of shame and misogyny that surrounded us.

I'm 54, too, and luckily my mum had the talk with me in good time, having started her periods young. She had bought me some stick on pads and ordered the Kotex booklet, which I kept in my knicker drawer.

I'm mid 50s. My mother never mentioned it at all, and then when I started periods and told her I was bleeding, she said, "You know what that is, don't you?" I did, from friends, but as she obviously considered it something not-to-be-talked-about I pretended I didn't. She did give me sanitary towels, but never discussed any alternatives, except once, "Are you OK using those?"

When I had my own flat and she saw I kept a box of tampons in the loo (no cupboard) she told me I shouldn't leave them out in case my brother (mid 20s) saw them. Well, maybe my brother had no idea women menstruate! Maybe I should have hidden the loo roll too so he didn't know I pee and poo!

My Mum who's in her 80s got her first period aged 9 with no idea what was happening.. My Grandma told her that the bleeding would happen every month and if it stopped you were pregnant..she was told that you got pregnant by sitting on mens laps..as we all know periods aren't always regular so she went months thinking she was pregnant by her own father who was a wonderful man and was always cuddling her...
Consequently I never remember 'the talk'.. I just always knew everything even though my Mum had a hysterectomy when I was 7yrs old...

I'm the third child of 4. I was born in 1970. I was the first child DDad was even in the hospital for.

My Mum always kept her Tampax in the loo so we could read the instructions!
There were diagrams too.

My mum would have been 90. She told me that when her period started at 13 she thought she was ill but luckily told her mum straightaway. She was told to ask her sister who would show her what to do. They just used rags back then and washed them out. When she started work at 14 she started buying disposable ones for herself (worn with a belt) which she burned on the fire!

I am 51. We had the talk at school as part of sex ed and then I would come home and talk to my mum about it after each lesson. She didn’t tell me much herself but was open to discussing things when we had a starting point. I had some pads ready from being 12.

i bet there were many very scared girls back in the day. So sad.

Radio 4 did a lovely drama about that story recently.

There was rather a lovely radio play about Chad Varah on BBC R4, starring Reece Shearsmith. Apparently he also advocated for the rights of lesbians and gay men. You can listen here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001ryld

I’m 54

started at 12 but my mum had already told me all about it. She started at 17, had periods about every 6 months and had a hysterectomy at about 27 so i soon over took her in experience

my dad used to buy my sanitary towels 😳

NanFlanders

Thanks for posting the link, that’s what I was thinking of! Would really recommend.

My daughter is 10 and I suspect she'll start soon. We've talked about periods and I've shown her how to use towels. I've given her a cosmetic bag containing spare pants, wipes and towels in case she starts at school. I want us to talk freely about growing up. I must say, though, that I teach biology and it's easier to teach a class about puberty and adolescence than your own children 1:1.