Divorce in the UK

[FedUpOfItA]

I was having a conversation with a friend this afternoon (I've had this conversation with many men in my life) about divorce settlements and whether a 50/50 split is fair, in a long marriage. I'm qualifying this because I do think in short marriages without children the balance is different.

My argument doesn't deviate and is always that if it was agreed between the couple that the woman (or man) stayed at home to provide childcare, look after the house and essentially support the other partner in their career they should be entitled to half of everything. Essentially, the SAHP has sacrificed her own career so that the other partner can succeed and focus on their career which they wouldn't be able to do otherwise and still have the benefit of a family life.

I'm just really curious to know the view on MN.

I think what is more important is the principle that everything is a shared asset when you marry. It is a financial union as well as a social/ romantic one. Obviously there are other factors that are important on divorce (such as career sacrifice affecting future earnings), but the legal agreement to become one unit is key imo. I

More honest to say that the SAHP/WAHP arrangement is a split agreed because of the individual preferences and opportunities of that particular family

On the understanding that the WAHP was earning for the family/the family's future. When that changes in divorce, they should be compensated for that change in the agreed setup.

Plus often it's not agreed, but fallen into or forced - eg. in my case (and yes, in my case he wouldn't have the career he had, because it involved travel, and someone has to stay home with the kids) I came close to giving up my career, because I was burning out trying to keep earning and doing everything for the kids while he was away (and increasingly when he was home), but thank fuck I didn't, because we were relying on a potential future payout to pay for our retirement, which, being uncertain, I had no way to make a claim on, and so I've had to start my pension as a single mother, in my 40s.

@CornishGem1975 similar for me. For all the "I sacrificed my career to facilitate his" stories - I quit work because I wanted to. He supported me to be a SAHP. I still only work part time.
Yes, I have no career, but I hated my job and didn't want a career.
He facilitated me not working, more than anything.
And yes, his career has progressed, but I don't feel I am responsible for that, and tbh it's only since the kids have been 15+ that he's really started to do well.
Yet I would be entitled to 50% if we split (hopefully we won't).