Being called uptight by a man

9 replies

fuffa · 20/10/2023 13:10

My dad called me uptight in a heated discussion over the phone because I called him out on something he said/was doing that I didn't agree with.

It made me really pissed and I'm still fizzing about it over a day later. Mainly because I'm seeing him over the weekend and I really don't want to. I'm fed up of his misogyny in general.

To me, being called uptight is on a par with women being called hysterical.

I'm so sick of the way men behave towards women and their response when they get called out on it.

OP posts:

Thelnebriati · 20/10/2023 19:38

It sounds like he was unable to challenge you on the issue, acknowledge you were right or explain why you were wrong; so he got personal. Thats undermining. Its an underhanded tactic.

fetchacloth · 20/10/2023 19:49

A typical male response 🙄 that would be ignored by me just to wind him up. 😐

spookehtooth · 20/10/2023 20:10

That sounds to me like any other generic personal dig, designed to antagonise. Being an adult or a parent doesn't require good conversational skills. I'm not defending it, its a shit way to talk to your children. I'm just pointing out adults don't always learn or "grow up" as they age. It's really disappointing! My Dad was pretty terrible, I think I was 19 or so the first time I can recall him apologising. Called me as I was en-route back to uni, it was a big shock

I made different mistakes as a parent, not abusive but still not great. Apologising, trying, but not really improving my handling of some situations. Both my parents had their different issues growing up, too. Some of my mine were learning a few of their crap ones, despite them not working on me. Some of them have taken time to accept, and then try to change them. Luckily, its worked out okay and what I think is a very good relationship with both daughters

Sorciere1 · 20/10/2023 20:18

When your father does this tell him he's shrill and over-emotional.
The only way to deal with men like this is to top them. Men yield to dominance.

spookehtooth · 20/10/2023 20:48

Sorciere1 · 20/10/2023 20:18

When your father does this tell him he's shrill and over-emotional.
The only way to deal with men like this is to top them. Men yield to dominance.

I wouldn't even bother with that, if I could walk away. There's nothing you can tell a person who isn't listening, just more blah blah blah back at you. Bullshit you don't need. I'd rather do something more interesting

Original poster

fuffa · 20/10/2023 20:53

I generally let it go but I was at my limit and I'm fed up having to put up with it ALL THE TIME.

In his eyes I'm the one in the wrong. Don't remember ever getting an apology from him.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 20/10/2023 20:55

Stop spending time with him. You don't have to see him at all.

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/10/2023 19:16

"It made me really pissed and I'm still fizzing about it over a day later. Mainly because I'm seeing him over the weekend and I really don't want to. I'm fed up of his misogyny in general."

Why are you seeing him? If you don't want to, don't. Consequences - we teach them to toddlers and sometimes we have to teach them to adults.

He chose to insult you because he presumably had no defence of his past actions, and still thinks 'attack is the best form of defence'. The consequence of him CHOOSING to insult you is that you don't want to be in his company. And you're under NO obligation to see him. Consequences.

Riva5784 · 02/11/2023 19:00

Why are you seeing him over the weekend when you don't want to? Why spend your free time with someone who treats you badly?

Flip