Jenni Russell - absolutely spot on

[Liverpool52]

Apologies it's behind a pay wall but Jenni points out that women are damned if they do damned if they don't - if they take steps to protect themselves they're accussing innocent men but if they allow themselves to be alone with a man and subsequently are assaulted it's their own fault.

I started listing in my head all the men that I've felt deeply uncomfortable around, that there have been rumours about or warnings from others but nothing proved. One that I currently work with who I try and quietly distance myself from but I know that if I did it more overtly I'd be the one in the wrong in the eyes of my employer.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/d959ebda-5976-11ee-9ad7-7384b2f230c5?shareToken=a0d10276f81ca03bbf552335c2b899cb

Yep totally spot on. Wonen seem to exist simply to boost the egos of men. With men expecting to get the " good guy free pass" where they they are allowed to transgress the usual boundaries on account of them being special for not being " like other men "

But they still blame us when shit happens because it cant possibly be because that man was an abuser/violent/rapist/arsehole. We led them on or put ourselves in the car/room with them. Our clothes indicated something our mouths didn't say.

Then of course police run campaigns putting the safety of women into our own hands. Like make sure we walk home together or dont get drunk. So we take the polices advice and get a friend to walk us home and he gets the wrong idea? What then...

I guess there's always bus drivers ....

God forbid police make us safer. God forbid men stay home and dont get drunk id they can't keep their hands to themselves.

Its simply our fault for whatever choice we make , that they find a way to exploit it...

Bus drivers.

I'm not tarring them all with the same brush but as a teen catching the last bus home in a rural area, I was offered a free ride for a kiss. When I refused, he turned a blind eye to the hassle I was getting from a few drunks.

Then he terrified me by not letting the doors open when we got to my stop.

I'd been babysitting and was dressed in jeans and a heavy coat but being a young female I still got unwanted male attention.

There was a bus driver in the village I lived who, when I was out running as a teenager, would open the doors and slow right down to watch me as I ran (early morning with no passengers).

The bus driver suggestion was just another example of how in.moderm society the personal responsibility aspect of anything is removed. Jobs are outsourced to unconsenting members of the public who aren't trained or back ground checked or paid extra for taking on these roles of law enforcement, social worker, counsellor, body guard etc. The responsibility should lie with the men to do the very easy thing of behave themselves. Instead its off loaded onto bar staff, bus drivers and other minimum wage workers who get caught in the crossfire. And thats if women haven't completely given up and stopped going out