Normalise talking about sexual abuse in school instead of all the stupid gender stuff

[crosscross]

As someone who was sexually abused as a child and took 30 years to tell anyone, I'm so upset when I hear so many stories like mine. When I was in secondary school (30 years ago), it was already common knowledge that one in four girls was abused/raped at some point in their lives. I remember looking around my class in school and wondering who else was in the same boat (but nobody ever spoke about it).

Why, when we have all these resources to discuss gender in schools, why do we not put resources behind talking to children about how it's not normal to be abused. Why? Fuck the nonbinary/born in the wrong body shite! Why can't we help actual girls (and boys)?

I defence of schools, this education is now included in PSHE and assemblies.

I think the gender stuff doesn't have as high a precedence in day to day school life as people not in school think it does.

Schools do talk about abuse. Much of the teaching about healthy relationships is in order to avoid and recognise abuse.

Oh! OK. I have no idea. I'm just angry that the same thing is still happening year in year out. I wonder if it is having any effect.

Somehow you managed to make sexual abuse about LGBT people.

Only on mumsnet.

What are you reading? She's talking about women and girls and how to prioritise protecting them from abuse.

I'd rather they discuss that than the 100 genders nonsense tbh.

What study were you referring to from 30 years ago out of interest? I only read about that stat in a study from last year. It covered something like 150 countries and found that 16% of women in Western Europe experienced abuse by 50yo but in sub-Saharan Africa the figure was close to 50% which was a bit of an eye opener.

Last school year daughter was sexually assaulted in year 1! They did nothing and even refused to move the boy to a different table so she didn't need to sit with him.

Meanwhile in the same school they have a boy pretending to be a girl who's allowed to use the girls toilets.

He hasn't been made to stay in a situation which is uncomfortable for him, oh no, we have to make the trans kid feel safe but sod the girl being sexually assaulted.

@WhatsForTeaMama was it the trans kid who did the assaulting? No? Then why mention them at all?

I agree more needs to be done to protect all children from sexual assault in schools (because hey, it also happens to boys).

I believe they do talk about abuse. How effective it is now though. I mean a lack.of boundaries and hyper sexuality for example are signs of abuse. Not sure how teachers are meant to observe these signs when children are forced to change infront of and share private spaces with the opposite sex . Its all rather contradictory.

And that applies to trans kids too. I mean a girl wanting to take her clothes off in front of a boy or boys would be seen as problematic. If that girl cuts her hair off and plays foot ball it wouldn't be an issue..

The teaching of the ideology and the erosion of blundering hurts all kids trans or not. And removes the ability to discuss what happened to them.

Because we all live in a sexist, capitalist society that thrives on oppressing the weak. Everything we are taught is a lie. Open your eyes to the reality of the world we live in, and realise the ruling class is not on your side.

I lead PSHE in a primary school. There’s lots on our curriculum about healthy relationships, what constitutes abuse, how to get help etc. We don’t teach anything explicit about gender identity at all. It might be different in a secondary school though.

'how to get help' does this include telling potential victims that the conviction rate for sexual crimes in the UK is less than 1%?

I think abuse and healthy relationships are dealt with well at secondary.

That's not fair egg, it's notoriously hard to prove. We all wish it was easier to prove, but as a crime, it just isn't, is it? No point pretending otherwise.

Fair?? What does fair have to do with it? What is it that makes rape so difficult to prove in comparison to other crimes - ABH for example?

And as a response to the original question, do you suggest schools tell young girls that not only is life not fair , but the whole infrastructure is stacked against them - so they might as well shut up and smile because no one will ever believe them?

Do you really not know?

Have you ever had a rape kit done.?

The burden of proof is harder. If there is enough evidence for a realistic prospect of conviction.

Disproving consent, and / or continued consent.

Me?

Many cases don't.

Wasn’t that a lovely sensitive remark to someone who has disclosed childhood sexual abuse. Absolute charmer.

True but surely that's the whole point - the conviction rate is so dismal because of a system that protects rapists. That will never change without action. Should a generation of young people just be told there's no point even trying? What does that achieve? Compounding the message that women are weak and powerless?

Who is being told it's not worth trying? Ds2 does PHSE. He says they talk about healthy relationships, consent, what to do when something doesn't feel right.

Yes, we as mums sadly know the rape conviction statistics are woefully poor. But that's a totally different thing to suggesting what goes in secondary school. Are girls in secondary being told it's not worth their while or pointless reporting? No. I would hope not. I don't think that's the case, that is not what they are being told.