Is the "law of polarity" the same BS as trans ideology?

[montecarlo7]

I am hoping to get some insight into this from other people.

Just a bit of background on my question.

I am someone who a few years ago when trying to find a partner online got suckered into an online program by a coach who was selling a program that helped you to access your "feminine side". The idea was that to attract a masculine sort of man who would want to commit, you need to be more feminine. The ideas underpinning the coaching program were the law of polarity (info on this below).

I am also someone who questions the idea that being a woman is a "feeling" that one can experience. I believe that sex is binary and no-one can change sex. Gender is a construct.

I suspect that there is overlap between trans ideology and the law of polarity that I was taught. I'm interested to hear your insights because I can't quite get my head around this.

Info on the law of polarity (from https://thetrulycharming.com/law-of-polarity-increase-attraction/) - I consider this to be BS but am linking it just to give an example of what this law of polarity is considered to be.)

The law of polarity is the idea that romantic relationships work best when one party has masculine traits and the other party has feminine traits.

Masculine and feminine energy are both defined by certain individual traits.

The person in their masculine energy is typically purpose-driven.

Masculine polarity is about facing obstacles, breaking through barriers and accomplishing goals. It’s about making things happen.

Individuals with strong masculine energy tend to be focused on their goals and love challenges.

Masculine energy is about doing.

It’s about moving with a purpose and taking action.

The “masculine” partner is protective, supportive, and encouraging, and they tend to be the guiding force of a relationship.
Feminine energy instead, is about being in the now and feeling.

It’s about being soft, playful, opening up, and receiving. It’s about bonding, connecting, being vulnerable, and allowing the other person to lead.

The partner who is more in touch with their feminine side tends to be creative, loving, nurturing, empathetic, and compassionate.

Intuition is one of their inner strengths and they tend to listen to their heart rather than their head.

Also, when two people with these two opposite energies meet, there can be attraction.

_

The interesting thing about doing this program to increase my feminine energy was that it did attract way more men into my life, but just not the men I wanted to date. They seemed regressive sorts of men who were "manosphere bros". They told me how wonderful it was to encounter such a feminine woman since most women are not feminine these days

The other issue with the program was that I found this behaviour of becoming "soft" and "open" made me vulnerable to predators.

I now feel that the ideas in the program did me a disservice.

The rest of the program was about stuff like, wearing feminine clothing, doing "feminine" hobbies like dancing, following your menstrual cycle and altering your schedule according to how much energy you have.

The program stated that it's also fine to be a woman who chooses to be the masculine polarity instead, in which case you need a guy on the feminine side.

Can any minds sharper than mine help me out on what this new age law of polarity is, and is it the same BS as trans ideology, where we have "masculine" and "feminine" souls?

I also tried to find scientific evidence that there are sex differences in the brain and found that women in general are more compassionate. I'm sure there are other differences too.

There is no greater ideology that thinks they can change the world around them than trans ideology. See pronouns for info.

I don't mean the content as such. More selling people hope and the idea that we are governed by simple "laws" and that we can use them to control what happens around us.

Feminism and women’s rights.

And yes, it does look like the same BS that gender ideology is built on. Sorry you wasted your money, but (as I always tell myself) it’s a learning experience.

More selling people hope and the idea that we are governed by simple "laws" and that we can use them to control what happens around us.

Probably a factor in why trans ideology captures so many people, particularly autistic people.

If masculine energy is based on "doing" and feminine being "open/receiving", then outside of the context of sex, why do so many women bemoan their husbands apparent lack of awareness to when the house needs cleaning? Women by and large work and also carry the mental load at home. Mind you, these women are often married to men who also work full-time even in high-paying stressful jobs but apparently have no idea where the detergent goes in the washing machine.

At the end of it all, what's the need of a struttingly handsome and strong man when it's you who's on the verge of a nervous breakdown every working day dashing to collect the kids after school.

True. I actually think overall women are more hard working than men are. (I am someone who has employed both sexes.)

Male and female brains are completely different at a cellular and molecular level.
However if you sliced male and female brains open this wouldn’t be obvious since the structures would be broadly similar and variations eg of size of structures within sex means that any one brain could look more ‘male’ or ‘female’.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8493822/

Honestly OP, this was a pile of shit that you get fed. I wouldn’t give it anything like as much headspace as your OP does - it’s literally not worth that much of your time or ours.

This polarity thing gives me serious New Age MLM / cult-adjacent vibes. Bet someone is making a ton of cash out of it.

No, this is the Nice board. Link to FWR at the top. The replies there may be somewhat different.

@BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn
“That's a big part of the book - the early influence of nurture and why trying to find innate differences is a largely doomed enterprise.”

Which I would agree with. To pin exactly what factors are innate seems pointless, particularly due to the fact that there will almost certainly be an overlap in distributions of traits so useless for judging people. However, knowing how traits can distribute can allow services to be tailored.

@MouseMinge
“if we accept that brains are plastic and can change, which I do, then surely that is not evidence that male and female brains are different because by the time we look at a brain there's already been a lot of practice and repeated activity which will have changed it. I think we'd also all accept that hormones play a part but that doesn't indicate a difference in brains either.”

The point is that we should not assume a blank slate view of brain development. The best explanation I have heard is to regard brains as “pre-drafted” there is evidence that more then just differences by sex but also genetic trains can influence interests and skills. However, none of that is a restriction, people can still be changed by the environment but also their own choices to develop certain skills and interests. Hormones are a good example as both pre-birth and in puberty our brains get massive (then lower levels through out life) doses which will make us more inclined to certain behaviour and then practice that behaviour, which then reinforces it.

The issue comes when people want to believe there is a blank slate and believe it is simply a matter of forcing people to engage in certain behaviour will “fix” what they perceived to be flaws in people. That excuses some treatment which when looked at from the perspective there are probably tendencies that need to be worked with should make people concerned. It also may mean that developing certain skills for boys and girls will require tailoring. When you have differences that are cross cultures and sometimes cross species the idea it is completely social looks weak.

Surely the criticism of medicine of “male default” applies to making the same for things like teaching etc.

@montecarlo7
If it is prescriptive in the way you describe then it is silly and not really worth any time.

As for it being like Trans ideology, I think you have lumped too many things together. Just because this is based upon bad ideas and Trans ideology is based upon bad ideas doesn’t mean they are the same. There are so many ways to be wrong you shouldn’t assume two wrong things are the same. I can’t see anything autogynephilic in what you have described. In the same way it seems based upon an overly rigid view of the world rather then the weird belief in the magical power of “identifying.” I suspect those who believe each would agree on very little if they were in a room together but because one is wrong wouldn’t make the other right.

There are no shortage of bad ideas they don't need to overlap.

I wouldn't want to be with a guy, who wouldn't be interested in my default me, but would change the opinion, if I tried to change myself to conform to stereotypically feminine behavioural traits.

It sounds like a recipe for unhappiness for both of us - me for being with someone who doesn't value me, and him for being with someone who doesn't share his viewpoint, just pretended to do so to make him commit.