Misogynistic comment on photo of me on facebook group

[MARYCAT8]

I didn't know where to post this or really what to do so I am off-loading here as a (hopefully) safe space. This morning while dropping my child at nursery, I got chatting to a guy about my bike. Turned out I knew him 'virtually' from a local online cycling group. I was happy for him to take a photo of me and the bike for the group. Anyway, later that day I logged on to FB and the photo is posted in the cycling group as well as in another much larger local area face book group. That's fine, I knew it would get mixed reactions from the larger group. What I wasn't prepared for was a comment on the photo saying "I zoomed in and this is clearly a man not a woman because they've got manly hands and manly legs. Anyone else notice this?" The original poster messaged me and warned me about the comment. I thought it had been deleted but it is on the photo not in the comments so only just seen it is still there. My first reaction was speechless, Christ I thought - what kind of guy gets his fix from zooming in on facebook pictures of women in a neighbourhood group?! I dont want to think about what the rest of his FB feed must look like. Should I just laugh it off/ignore it? I thought it had been deleted but as it is still there I have no idea what to do. I thought I could just laugh at it but it is still playing on my mind. This picture with comment is on a public group with 16k members. I've just not experienced this kind of direct offensive comment before. I know it happens but it's never happened to me. And just for the record I am biologically female and in every way a woman.

Bloody hell OP - sorry you're having to deal with this. Would you like to respond to it or not really?

Tell him he needs to "go to Specsavers" and leave it at that.

I’d report it to the group admin - it’ll be against group guidelines which usually have something about not abusing fellow users.

Perfect response!

You can’t argue with stupid, much as I’d love to respond if it was me, it’s probably better to ignore and move on.

Does it matter? You know you're not a man. Personally, I would ignore it.

I would call him out fuck it why should he get away with making bitchy comments like that

A completely random stranger thinks that your hands and legs look "manly" whatever that means. Nice one, Martin. As you go about your business every day, people have many thoughts about you and not all of them would necessarily make you feel good. The only difference with this one is that you can see it. He could be the biggest short-sighted incel facebook warrior in town, his opinion meant nothing to you yesterday, and will mean nothing to you tomorrow.

I'd emasculate him by calling him out on his 'mean girl' behaviour.

I would breezily confirm that you are all woman - and then shame him by asking why, if you were a transwoman, he would think it okay to out you and publicly scrutinise your body in that way? What relevance are my hands and legs to a photograph of my bike?!

You would get so much love on my local Facebook page if you responded like that. Nobody likes a bully.

Why is it relevant even if you are a man? Are they not allowed to ask questions about bikes?

I wouldn't reply as it could reveal your facebook name/details to this troll, wich is probably why they were writing goady comments.
But report him to admin and get the post taken down by your school contact who posted it.
I'm a lot more careful about facebook groups these days as so much of your details are available to strangers.

Thanks all. Yes I think I agree with a lot of this. It isn't that I believe it or am bothered that someone thinks that. It is more that someone felt the need to tell me that and others. I never thought I would be affected by something written online but I have to admit now that I am. I am clearly not as thick skinned as I thought. I really wanted to make a witty comeback to make them the fool but I am glad I held back because a) it probably wouldn't have worked and b) ignoring it means less attention is paid to it. 24 hours later I am feeling over it. Just frustrated that it caused me to feel so rubbish and use up so much emotional energy. Learnt a few lessons. Partly me that needs a thicker skin and maybe just more wary of how I use social media.

Defo report. However, unless he's an absolute Adonis I'd be tempted to post one of his pics below and say 'yeah you must really be slaying it with the ladies, Quasimodo' or something. But probs better to ignore.

My fully-grown son has inherited all our tiny genes so has tiny bones, hands and feet. Somehow people think it's acceptable to point this out including complete strangers. He often has to get shoes from the teen section but has been told numerously that he could buy women's ones. Oddly quite a few manufacturers skip sizes 5.5 and 6 for boys/men's shoes but being told "gosh, your feet are small!" really doesn't help...

I have yet to find a cure for stupid. Apparently Miranda Hart suffers frequently with these types of comment as well so you're in good company.

A horrible comment, but not "Misogynistic".

Some of the above retorts made me snort, but I guess it's better not to feed the troll.

Some men are just nasty arseholes, I'm very tall and am past the age of being pretty, so I get these kind of comments occasionally.

He's just outed himself as a total wanker hasn't he?

I would reply with this:

All the better to cycle with my dear! (wolf emoticon)

@pollymere my husband has small feet as well. He usually buys Italian shoes as they have a more narrow fit.

There's pros and cons for ignoring the comments or reporting to admin. I am not sure what I'd do but I just wanted to say that the author is a revolting person.

certain people can be like arseholes ,

This person opinion means jack shit nothing, in the big scheme of life,

I bet he is no Adnois ,

I am imagine he is someone who is insecure, about his dick size ect,

He sounds like a insufferable Prick too,

Hi @MARYCAT8

I've experincined this myself this kind of shit too.!

Solidarity with you too.

Take care x

Ignore it.