Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

How to teach children how babies are made without mentioning men and women...

28 replies

AnotherEmma · 28/03/2023 22:06

I have a curious 6 year old, who's started asking a lot of questions about exactly how babies are made. So I've been looking for age-appropriate books. Turns out it's a bloody minefield. I'm sure it won't surprise any of you to discover that it's possible to buy children's books about making babies that don't mention men or women at all. Just, you know, that "some people" have sperm and "some people" have eggs. And people are buying these books and reading them to their children Sad

SUCH COMPLETE AND UTTER INSANITY!

OP posts:
SirSamVimesCityWatch · 28/03/2023 22:07

I had the same concerns. I went old school - found the book my parents had given me on eBay. Books from the 80s & 90s have none of the gender identity shit and, let's face it, the facts of sexual reproduction haven't changed!

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 28/03/2023 22:08

I wasn't going to name specific books, but what the hell.

"What Makes a Baby" by Cory Silverberg
"Making a Baby" by Rachel Greener

Envy
OP posts:
shouldhavetakenmorenotice · 28/03/2023 22:12

Didn't bother with a book. Waited until DS was 8 and we just discussed it in the car.

It's amazing how fast gender theory etc falls to pieces when you are explaining baby making to a primary school aged child.

Cherrybl0ssm · 28/03/2023 22:15

I agree that a book isn’t really needed. Just an age appropriate explanation. You will know when they have had enough because they randomly change the subject!
Also I had to explain it to my DC more than once. Because apparently if they child isn’t developmentally ready to understand they will ask intermittently until the are.

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 28/03/2023 22:17

I wasn't asking for advice about whether to buy a book or not. Just wanted to rant a bit to people who would understand!

OP posts:
Original poster
AnotherEmma · 28/03/2023 22:20

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 28/03/2023 22:07

I had the same concerns. I went old school - found the book my parents had given me on eBay. Books from the 80s & 90s have none of the gender identity shit and, let's face it, the facts of sexual reproduction haven't changed!

Ha, true!

The best book I've found was published in 2006. "Let's Talk (about girls, boys, babies, bodies, families and friends)" by Robie H Haris. It's brilliant. I'd borrowed it from the library but have now bought it so I can just keep on the shelf for next time DC asks. I'm sure it will be invaluable.

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 28/03/2023 22:23

I just got the 'Growing up for Girls' book by Dr Emily Macdonagh for my 8 nearly 9 yr old and she's liked it, was fascinated and a bit disgusted but in an informed and understanding kind of way. It's certainly prompted some interesting discussions 😂

It's very factual while being positive, lots of stuff about how every girls body is different but still normal, boobs come in all shapes and sizes and so on. Also uses biologically correct terms, sentences like "there is a diagram of a boys genitals where we talk about sperm, the special cells that if they meet an egg in a female body can grow into a baby." And "when a woman and her partner feel they are ready to make a baby they have sex...."

They do a Growing up for boys one too.

It might be aged a bit above 6 but you could go through just the bits you want together then pick it up again when you're ready to move on.

unclebuck · 28/03/2023 22:31

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mummy-Laid-Egg-Picture-Books/dp/0099299119/ref=sr_1_1?crid=11X2DEPER4QKX&keywords=mummy+laid+an+egg&qid=1680038964&s=books&sprefix=mummy+laid+%2Cstripbooks%2C79&sr=1-1

This is BRILLIANT! Very funny, hilarious drawings. Quite rude but sweet and affectionate. Highly recommended. I will attach a photo of one of the very funny drawings in a moment (When I find it)

EllieQ · 28/03/2023 22:35

It’s ridiculous. I’ve seen one book for children being promoted as being very inclusive, with a photo of a page stating ‘some bodies have wombs and some don’t’ 🙄

I got my daughter a book called ‘Let’s Talk About the Birds and the Bees’ when she started asking the same question when she was six. It’s age-appropriate and focuses on the facts about puberty and how babies are made and born, with a short section at the end about different types of families (divorced parents, extended families, two mums, two dads).

Talk About the Birds and the Bees: Starting conversations about the facts of life (From how babies are made to puberty and healthy relationships) amzn.eu/d/0UOyB7A Birds and Bees

EllieQ · 28/03/2023 22:36

Not sure what’s happened with the link, but if you search for the title on Amazon, you’ll find it!

unclebuck · 28/03/2023 22:37

😂

How to teach children how babies are made without mentioning men and women...
How to teach children how babies are made without mentioning men and women...
How to teach children how babies are made without mentioning men and women...
mypronounsaremine · 29/03/2023 23:06

I guess it's ancient now but we too adored Babette Cole's Mummy Laid an Egg. Such a joyful book, not least in its depiction of enthusiastic sex. Cheerful and entertaining, quite aside from being informative.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mummy_Laid_an_Egg

Mummy Laid an Egg - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mummy_Laid_an_Egg

Redbird87 · 30/03/2023 02:16

Ridiculous, no? Anyway, a book is a good idea for "the talk." Kids don't learn from just one conversation, they need to ruminate, just like we do when confronted with big brain concepts like how exactly they got into mom's stomach in the first place rofl

ArabellaScott · 30/03/2023 09:19

‘some bodies have wombs and some don’t’

Fab. How do we know which bodies? We had this discussion on the other board recently. How do you explain reproduction if you are suggesting that gender has superseded sex?

I do actually wonder how this is going to translate into rates of teen pregnancies in a few years.

Children need simple, clear, age appropriate explanations. They're getting the opposite.

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 30/03/2023 10:06

ArabellaScott · 30/03/2023 09:19

‘some bodies have wombs and some don’t’

Fab. How do we know which bodies? We had this discussion on the other board recently. How do you explain reproduction if you are suggesting that gender has superseded sex?

I do actually wonder how this is going to translate into rates of teen pregnancies in a few years.

Children need simple, clear, age appropriate explanations. They're getting the opposite.

Yep

OP posts:
howdoesatoastermaketoast · 01/04/2023 01:21
Confused Always Sunny GIF by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

me trying to figure out if my gay son needs a lecture about contraception before I met his new girlfriend - I went with probably not and that was indeed the correct answer.

sex - sometimes it matters

jellybe · 01/04/2023 02:37

unclebuck · 28/03/2023 22:31

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mummy-Laid-Egg-Picture-Books/dp/0099299119/ref=sr_1_1?crid=11X2DEPER4QKX&keywords=mummy+laid+an+egg&qid=1680038964&s=books&sprefix=mummy+laid+%2Cstripbooks%2C79&sr=1-1

This is BRILLIANT! Very funny, hilarious drawings. Quite rude but sweet and affectionate. Highly recommended. I will attach a photo of one of the very funny drawings in a moment (When I find it)

Was going to recommend this one it is great!

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 01/04/2023 11:49

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 01/04/2023 01:21

me trying to figure out if my gay son needs a lecture about contraception before I met his new girlfriend - I went with probably not and that was indeed the correct answer.

sex - sometimes it matters

I don't understand... your gay son has a girlfriend? It's a romantic and sexual relationship? He is male and she is female? So he's bi then??

OP posts:
titchy · 01/04/2023 12:09

Gay son's 'girlfriend' is a male who identifies as a girl I assume. Which would make the gay son a transphobe as he doesn't recognise the girlfriend's gender...

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 01/04/2023 12:24

Sorry his new boyfriend is a "girlfriend" but is in other words a gay bloke in black lippy and a shaggy haircut looks a bit like Noel Fielding. He told me his girlfriend was coming to stay for the weekend and it confused me. It is confusing...

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 01/04/2023 12:30

Ah I see! Parenting teens in this crazy new world must be so tough. I wonder what on earth will be going on by the time my two are teens Confused

OP posts:
MollyRover · 01/04/2023 12:38

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 01/04/2023 01:21

me trying to figure out if my gay son needs a lecture about contraception before I met his new girlfriend - I went with probably not and that was indeed the correct answer.

sex - sometimes it matters

😅

MollyRover · 01/04/2023 12:39

titchy · 01/04/2023 12:09

Gay son's 'girlfriend' is a male who identifies as a girl I assume. Which would make the gay son a transphobe as he doesn't recognise the girlfriend's gender...

🤣🤣

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 01/04/2023 13:13

So your son doesn't identify as gay? Or does he, but only dates girls with penises? Christ, I'm too old for this.