Women win this dating game??

[Newusernameaug]

Can anyone help me articulate their feelings about this video please?

Back story:

A male friend sent it to me, following a conversation where he said women always win in dating, I said that’s BS and not as simple as that.

He then sent me this video, and said he wanted a polite discussion.
I responded:

Points 2&3 are totally made up by him and with no validation or substance and point 1 is irrelevant to his chart as it's women initiate more divorces than men, not more break ups. This is just misogynist BS put out there to stir up hate and allow men to be victims. I also don't see any relevance to our conversation yesterday.

His response to my reply:

The pysch hack video I sent, i wanted to discuss politely on the phone with u. However when u messaged using the word misogynist i didn't like it cos i basically agreed with everything in the video. I was driving when i replied with that short msg so wanted to convey my msg concisely. Personally I i don't understand y it would b offensive. The divide between men an women pyschologically is bad an its all been engineered. Misogynist is word out of the feminists tool kit an feminists really piss me off. If u decide to end our friendship I can accept that with no hard feelings.

———-

Im at the point of walking away from this friendship, however I’d like a conversation with him before I do.
i’d really appreciate any thoughts into this mindset? I feel it’s about portraying men as the victims, when it’s women that have been suppressed and abused for centuries and I’m not keen on the whole men versus women and grouping us a whole species.

Im also cross it’s even come to this, why he even sent me the video. It just feels like he wants to argue (debate) these sort of things when I don’t see the point or want that from a friendship.

Any thoughts would be welcome. Thanks

You're right that his conclusions need a lot more direct statistical evidence to back up his conclusions. But I don't see the misogyny. All it says is that men do worse than women in a certain kind of dating situation, that the odds are stacked against them in a certain way. Not sure it's true, even for the limited situation he's talking about, but there's no hatred of women there, no claim that women are weaker or men are superior.

Women may well initiate more break ups as well as divorces. I've no idea of the stats, but my opinion is that men do anything but break up. Cheat, only fans, or simply make their partner miserable. It's cowardly but they want their cake and eat it. There are always 'perks' in a relationship that they want to keep regardless of whether they even like their partner, plus you know, not wanting to just throw away their household appliance without having another one lined up.

I don't agree men don't see it coming though. If they're too lazy to walk away and would rather play around or be a shit partner, that's their lookout.

Honestly I typed the above fully prepared to respond to his other points, but the video and the comments below just enraged me and I couldn't be bothered listening to the rest.

Videos like this are just an echo chamber, like the OLD dating threads on here. Thousands of MNers will tell you how soul-destroying OLD is, that men are only out for a shag, that it's tiresome, most men are boring or self obsessed, whatever. I'll include myself in that. It's nice sometimes to feel you're not the only one, but that video is just toxic. Like women swan around holding all the cards and the poor menz are just dragged along for the ride, and cast aside when they've been chewed up and spat out. As if.

Oh, and I have a male friend that I can have debates like this with, but it's respectful and if he sent me the message that yours sent you, he wouldn't be a friend anymore. Your friend was just out for a fight and an 'aha' moment but really that says everything about him, his insecurities and his failings as a person in the dating 'game'.

I haven't watched the video, and won't give it the clicks, but from the title, your comments, and the contents of his message it's from the incel/MRA/red pill stable. He's a woman-hating arse, or well on the way to being one, if hes into that scene and hates feminism - and not worth your time.

Thank you everyone for helping by responding.
@yossell good points, my initial reaction probably was a little harsh.

@Sparklfairy You’ve articulated so many things I felt but couldn’t express or clarify my thoughts around it, thank you for taking the time as this has really helped and I’m going to use a lot of these when we do talk.

Yes @BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn I wasn’t aware this was his opinion and now I’m seeing a true reflection of him I’m not sure I want to be friends with him.

Describing the men who hang around women in relationships as that woman's 'plan b' demonstrates the bias.
Why isn't he asking 'why do men hang around women who are in a relationship?' or 'why do women break up with men?'
He isn't interested in the narrative of how and why relationships break up. What's happening to make women so dissatisfied with their partner, and why isn't he interested in changing that?

an feminists really piss me off

Lol, what a charmer. Waste no more time on this prat. He's choked on a lovely little red pill from the incel factory.

Are you in a relationship OP?
Because if so I think its quite likely he likes you (or at least wants you to like him) and considers himself your plan B based on that video. That's not a healthy place to be since no-one wants to be someone else's second best but you can't help him with his self esteem.
Even if not, then I still think he either wants some reassurance from you that you totally don't see him like that etc etc. Hence the video being secretly a TEST that you FAILED. Either you fall for his clever negging technique and apologise for your foolishness or you don't - in which case he still wins because he tricked you with the secret test.

In summary: I could be completely wrong but I reckon he fancies you and this is an incredibly socially inept way of dealing with that. If that's the case I would feel a bit sorry for him but create some distance - any kindness would be seen as you keeping him hanging especially if he see's dating as a competition/zero sum game.

Incidentally its true that women initiate divorce more when both parties are in good health. But that ratio completely flips when one of the couple is seriously ill. You can take statistics and twist them to say whatever terrible things about the opposite sex you want (I mean not you but ykwim).

Sorry this bit was hilarious though:
""women initiate break ups with men 60-70% of the time. And because statistics can be a little baffling... " This is not targeted towards people on the upper end of the old IQ bell curve

“Misogynist is word out of the feminists tool kit an feminists really piss me off.”

So you don’t believe in feminism? That women deserve equality with men? Goodness I didn’t realise you were a closet incel. Thanks for the heads up. Blocked and bye!

I didn’t watch the video.
Dating isn’t about winning or losing. When done in good faith it’s about finding a person to spend the rest of your life with. Someone who will love and care for you. And you for them.
It’s his issue that he seems to think women ‘won’ at dating - what ever that means.