Honour killings - what do the mothers think?

[BananaHamhock]

Over the years I have heard a lot of upsetting stories about women in eastern countries who have been murdered in the name of honour by male family members. I grew up in an area of North America that had a large Indian and Asian population and I remember stories once or twice of women visiting their home / mother countries (some were born in North America) but who had also been murdered during their visit in the name of honour, and have heard many others

I've just seen this story about a woman who's been murdered by her father and it's brought back all of the memories of the honour killing stories I remember hearing about when I was younger.

I've always wondered what the women in these families think about this situation. Are they furious with the husbands for murdering their daughters / relatives? Or are the mothers brainwashed into believing it will bring honour as well? Do they try and stop the husbands if they even know it will happen? They must be petrified of living alongside these male relatives that do it. It's so terrible I just can't really comprehend living in a society where something like this happens. Do most of the men get away with it? Do they seriously feel that their entire family and friends will see them and their family as more honourable without the poor girl / woman dead at the hands of a family member?

apple.news/Ap_SNg5PqSEyw6gM-llZXHA

Despite all the evidence to the contrary, people still think that women aren't capable of cruelty.
It's women who carry out breast ironing and FGM.

Women are also part of the cultures that have so called honour based violence, and I've heard of many instances where they have colluded in their child's death.

Daughters tend to trust their mothers who often enable the murders. It's not uncommon for mothers to organise forced marriage.

Something that has always struck me is, surely for honour killings to work and restore the families honour in the eyes of the community, the people in the community need to know it was the family that killed her and not some random stabber in the street.

I do remember being very moved by reports about a murder of a girl called Rand in Basra for befriending a US soldier. Her mum immediately left her husband and spoke out against the murder, and was before long murdered herself. I looked it up and it's described here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murders_of_Leila_Hussein_and_Rand_Abdel-Qader
I still think about them both.

I know women do take part or contribute in many cases, or are helpless bystanders. I don't understand it at all whoever does it or helps with it but I do agree it needs to be understood.

There was a news story a few years ago where it was actually the mother who killed her daughter by suffocating her with a plastic bag.

I had a friend at university and her mother refused to come to her graduation because she didn't think women should be educated. Her father actually did attend her graduation.

I can imagine some women who have tried very hard all their lives to do the Right Thing, often at significant personal cost, will not react too kindly to transgressors.

Though even so I find it very hard to get into the mindset of someone thinking her own daughter deserves to die for having sex, and not feeling any qualms about that whatsoever.

Of course many will hate the whole thing but be too terrified to say anything.

How would we go about doing that - your last sentence.