Shoxfordian · 08/12/2022 11:42
I know it’s not the most pressing issue but it really annoys me that we get cards to Mr&’Mrs DH surname (even worse to Mr&Mrs DH initials surname like I don’t even exist) when I didn’t change my name when we got married. I also use Ms not Mrs.
Does this happen to anyone else?
Would it be wrong to put return to sender, not known at this address on them and shove them back in the postbox?
Tricyrtis2022 · 08/12/2022 17:55
I get those too and it annoys me a lot. There are a couple of acquaintances who send a card using Mr and Mrs X but they use my surname, assuming it's my married name, and that annoys me even more.
We are not married and I use Ms, but one particularly prim family member used to address me as Miss on envelopes, even though I am middle aged. I waited for a family gathering when everyone was nicely merry and then asked her if she addressed me as Miss because she thinks I'm still a virgin. Everyone fell about laughing and she stopped doing it.
Pineapple41 · 08/12/2022 20:33
Yes! We got “Dr & Mrs HisInitial HisSurname” from my in-laws every time for years, when they knew full well I am Ms MySurname. We mentioned it in passing once and they kept doing it so I had to get DH to tell them to stop being dicks, which eventually put a stop to it. Maddening!
Christmaspass · 10/12/2022 14:11
Yes, elderly people still follow that convention. I was taught to address letters like that (but obviously don't do it now). If people are doing it simply because they believe that is the correct way to address an envelope, then I wouldn't take any action.
Shoxfordian · 12/12/2022 08:06
It’s not the correct way to address an envelope when it’s not my name though- should be Dh surname, my name surname
yellowtwo · 13/12/2022 09:33
Something the same, I set up something for our house, did all the paper work, my DP was the second person on it, only signed it, nothing else. His name is first on the documents and cards. Even alphabetically my name would be first.
EBearhug · 13/12/2022 09:41
I once had had someone really have a go at me for addressing a card to Mr and Mrs Smith. How dare I assume she took her husband's name? She didn't - I only knew her surname, and I'd been introduced to, "John, my husband," not John Brown. I would have used his surname had I known, but you do need to be told what people's names are.
I don't often use titles these days, which probably annoys some people (I do for my elderly aunt, who considers herself to be very proper,) but I do try and go for known preferences on names.
picklemewalnuts · 13/12/2022 09:45
It's a bit clunky, Ms J Smith and Mr R Jones.
Jan and Rob is a bit informal
I barely know people's full name, let alone both persons'.
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