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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

Why have strip clubs become the norm on stag dos?

35 replies

Ponderings1 · 06/12/2022 21:24

I have always found it weird. In no normal situation would I be happy with my partner being around naked women so why would I be ok with it just because it’s a stag do?

I know some women say they’re ok with it but I wonder if a lot of that is being the ‘cool girl’ (see Gone Girl) or maybe just being resigned to the fact it will happen so no point kicking up a fuss about it.

I KNOW some men will go along and not enjoy it but going on the fallouts I see on here, I personally think some types of men use the excuse of ‘I was made to go along / it’s party of the stag do / I don’t enjoy it’ but then will use the fact they ‘had’ to go to cross the line and get private dances or whatever.

I find the ‘need’ to go to strip clubs on stag dos kind of gross. Why do you NEED to see other naked women when you’re about to get married - what an insult? And I find it gross the type of men who lie to their wives and girlfriends about what they did on stag dos or at strip coins seedy.

I have no issue with sex workers at all, all power to them. It’s the behaviour or attached men that is my issue. I won’t start the convo of it sex work is empowering to women or not.

So is it truly ‘normal’ and ok in your opinion or have we as women been told it’s ‘normal’ - boys will be boys!

To add to also don’t get the whole stripper thing for hen dos either or the games where you have to dance up on other men etc. 🤢

OP posts:
HatThatWearsYou · 11/12/2022 02:23

Vegeetas · 07/12/2022 12:17

I have actually refused to go on stag do's over this.

Strip clubs are gross, classless and honestly creepy. There is nothing sexy about a woman slutting it up to please a room full of men and honestly, whilst it's her choice I just hate it as I think it's degrading.

women slutting it up

Is awful language to use about these women IMO.

HatThatWearsYou · 11/12/2022 02:24

I mean do you really think they choose to do this over something else, or enjoy it?

TreadLight · 11/12/2022 08:25

HatThatWearsYou · 11/12/2022 02:24

I mean do you really think they choose to do this over something else, or enjoy it?

It is really quite sexist to say that women who do something you don't agree with have no agency; no control over their own actions or responsibility for the consequences of those actions.

It is treating these women like they are basically still children.

HatThatWearsYou · 11/12/2022 15:09

TreadLight · 11/12/2022 08:25

It is really quite sexist to say that women who do something you don't agree with have no agency; no control over their own actions or responsibility for the consequences of those actions.

It is treating these women like they are basically still children.

Show quote history

Do trafficked women have agency in regard to this? Is it sexist to point out they have been trafficked? I don't think so.

Greenshake · 11/12/2022 15:20

My father used to work for a very respectable well known retail store and I remember him having a stripper at his work leaving do there in the mid 80’s. This was with the full knowledge of senior management.

Abhannmor · 11/12/2022 15:31

ginandbearit · 10/12/2022 08:54

Hahaha to the report of women sitting embarrassed and quiet at hen do male strippers..I've worked behind the bar at hospital social clubs and it's the men who sit in embarrassed silence , the women go wild, hurling abuse and ribald laughter at the men and goading each other on ... terrifying.

Gosh ! But excuse my ignorance....is a hospital social club where nurses go to unwind? Sounds a bit hectic.

Of course you can always do life drawing of naked men. Well , it's not the same cos its art innit?

ginandbearit · 11/12/2022 15:40

Abhannmor . ..used to be ..not sure they exist anymore ..but the hen do' s and male strippers nights were always sold out .. absolute mayhem ..the most demure were often the worst ...😬

TruckerBarbie · 11/12/2022 17:44

ginandbearit · 11/12/2022 15:40

Abhannmor . ..used to be ..not sure they exist anymore ..but the hen do' s and male strippers nights were always sold out .. absolute mayhem ..the most demure were often the worst ...😬

Indeed.

Much as I don't like strip clubs, at least they keep it contained. I remember once walking into a bar in a posh market town to have an after work drink after a long day, to be greeted by a naked man in a police helmet windmilling his penis to the delight of a group of cackling drunk women.

The other people in the bar looked pretty uncomfortable to say the least and it wasn't really what I wanted to see tbh.

ZeldaOlivia · 13/12/2022 15:42

Suprima · 07/12/2022 10:59

It depends on your social circle.

the blue collar men in my family would/do see it as ‘just a bit of fun’ as they believe feminism is for hairy lesbians, believe being a man is the worst thing ever, think strippers are consenting adults and all that

i also know awful city boys who are men from that background ‘done good’ who see it as a rite of passage and suitable entertainment. But it transcends classes as I know middle class blokes who hold the exact same views re: women’s issues and will still frequent these places.

I don’t hang out with any of the above men. My social circle right now reject lad culture, view porn as a sure way to fuck up your brain and give you a limp cock. The stag dos here involve cookery classes, whiskey tasting and wild camping. (Although last time, someone’s lowbrow brother in law to be once ordered a stripper as a ‘surprise’ and then flounced with her when the others said no thanks and asked him what the fuck he was thinking)

you don’t need to hang out with or lower your boundaries to accept men who support the sex industry. Sorry to be all ‘not all men’ but not all of them
do. Any man who goes to a strip club for fun or even due to peer pressure is classless scum. We don’t have to associate with them, let alone shag or marry them.

Believe me, as a former SW, a man's social and economic background has no factor on how he will treat those girls.

TruckerBarbie · 13/12/2022 17:28

ZeldaOlivia · 13/12/2022 15:42

Believe me, as a former SW, a man's social and economic background has no factor on how he will treat those girls.

Show quote history

Exactly. Most of the sex scandals seem to occur with 'high class' males who have the money and power to indulge

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