‘Fat ads’ misogyny?

[Suzie2016]

My husband told me to ‘get off my fat ass’ this morning. I’ve had 2 children the youngest being 20 months (I put on over 5 stone with him). I have lost a lot of weight but am still trying to lose the rest for me. I found the comment hurtful, misogynist rude nasty and cruel. Is it just me?
please respond to check I haven’t overreacted xx

I wouldn't call it misogyny. I'd call it derision.

How horrible.

It's clearly not nice he said it to you, but it is an expression.
I say it all the time "In need to get off my fat arse" when I'm just sat there and I know I have things to do.

Depends how it's said and what context - as with another poster we both quite often say in an American accent 'move your fat ass' but it's said with humour and neither get offended.

However any other context then yes, can understand why you would find it hurtful. In any event, if you are sensitive to that expression, let him know & not to use it again.

We'll done on the weight loss.

It's nasty and rude but it's it not mysogyny. It could just as easily be said to a man. In fact men are much more likely to call another man fat ("you fact ba5tard" etc) than a woman.

Not nice. Tell him how you feel about it. And congratulations on the weight loss.

Rude but not misogyny.

Whether it is misogyny depends on his views of women and especially women who are overweight. The comment could be misogynistic or not, and you can't tell what is in his head.

What the comment definitely is is rude, belittling and unkind. Tell him to fuck off from me!

Hi, men do say stuff like that to each other, in a cheeky joking friendly way.
when it’s said from a man to a woman in a nasty aggressive way, is that not just simply fat shaming. I know it’s an expression but surely it’s massively cruel and nasty when the woman is struggling to lose baby weight.
thank you for your thoughts xx

Yes absolutely agree OP. If it was said in a nasty way you are quite right to be upset. If done regularly this is abuse. Does he often say nasty things to you?

You can say that to a man too - I'm sure some fed up wives do so frequently!
But it's a nasty thing to say to someone you love.

It's not misogyny. It is nasty. I say it to myself sometimes but if my husband said that to me, I would not take kindly to it and he would know about it. But my husband loves me and my baby weight. Which is now 14 years old...

My DH regularly makes comments about making room for "mums fat bum" or fatso on the sofa, he always insists he's joking. I have stayed the same weight for 20 years (excluding pregnancy) whereas he has noticeably put on weight in the last few years!

My DH regularly makes comments about making room for "mums fat bum" or fatso on the sofa, he always insists he's joking. I have stayed the same weight for 20 years (excluding pregnancy) whereas he has noticeably put on weight in the last few years!