Waiting for police to attend after being assaulted by my ex....

[IncognitoForLife]

16 hours ago....
This is the police force with sufficient resource to arrest someone for their beliefs. But I can't even get an ETA from them.
I'm okay; shaken and scared not physically hurt. But it shows where their priorities lie.

Edit:
Bunch of misogynistic bastards.

I'm sorry. Hang out here while you wait. You will get a lot of support.

Thanks chick. I don't know what to do with myself in the meantime. I can't settle to anything.

Incognito so sorry about this. Also, it’s completely normal not to be able to settle after something like this has happened; your body is still on the alert.

If you feel up to it, try a little bit of running on the spot and punching the air. It sounds silly but it helps to reassure your body that all your limbs are working and you could fight/run away if you needed to. It still works even if you feel silly doing it :)

I’m so sorry this has happened to you 💐
Hope the police are with you soon

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. Just bumping your thread for support.

Thanks all. A friend came over for a bit, which helped. Think I need to keep busy.

FFS.
Probably not coming out today. Too busy.

That's really poor. 😡

They're probably too busy arresting women for wrongthink.

If there is no immediate threat harm or risk, then the job will fall back onto the event queue. This is a bit like the ambulance where they categorise the jobs that come in as to how to gauge the response.

Presumably (as you are typing on here) the immediate threat is gone

So therefore other emergencies will be serviced first - so a domestic incident which is still on going for example.

A normal shift of emergency response cops where we are has about 20-25 cops on it. When you take into account the handovers from the previous shift, incoming emergencies - you lose about half of that number before you start. Of the ones who are left, they will start to tackle this event queue - but the queue could have upwards of 200 jobs on it - and each one could take a few hours to deal with. And while that's going on - more jobs are coming in all the time.

Not ideal i know, but resources get depleted very quickly especially through incidents which the police can not just leave - such as mental health cases etc etc

@Felix125 that all makes perfect sense but I believe OPs (and many women's) frustration comes from the fact that checking women are, and feel, safe and supported seems to be so low a priority.

Falling for example rather below teenage shoplifters in the list of stuff to be dealt with.

That just isn't the case

All jobs that come in are prioritised by threat, harm & risk. So, an ongoing domestic incident will always trump most other things and go on as an emergency with an immediate response.

If the threat, harm & risk is lowered - so a domestic incident where the suspect has gone, or the crime is threats over a phone - the priority is lowered.

Mix into this pot all other jobs that the police deal with. People threatening suicide, people phoning to say they have taken a load of tablets, missing kids, sudden deaths etc etc. These take hours & hours to deal with as there is no one else to deal with them and a suicidal person can't just be 'fixed' in minutes.

Add to this custody wait times with prisoners often stretching to 3 hours before you can book them in. Then having to take the prisoners to hospital if there is the slightest thing wrong with them and guarding them there at the back of the queue in hospital, or cell watching them because they have threatened to bang their head off the wall.

And also remember that each officer carries about 20+ crime enquiries on their queue with each victim wanting their job to be a priority, CPS wanting a full case file before making a decision on any of those enquiries, case files taking days to complete due to all the Body Worn Videos now having to be transcribed & redacted by the officer (no admin staff to do it for you).

Then you have a boat load of other jobs constantly coming at you.......

I could go on - but this is why sometimes you might have to wait

OButp do sorry your dhit if a partner has hurt you
I'm so sorry that your local force think that "domestic abuse" is a lower priority vthan a mans hurt feelings and instead send instant emergency response to a woman asking a man to leave the women's bathroom.
Police are misogynist arseholes
Plenty of met police reviews illustrate this
Deep institutional misogyny.

I fantasize about them taking their sweet time whilst the life drains from my abuser.
One day... One day ... stares out of the window and drinks tea.

Record every incident and get a non molest

@IncognitoForLife I'm so sorry you've been treated so badly. Ring your local women's service and ask if someone can advocate on your behalf (an IDVA) perhaps. They should do an independent DASH risk assessment and then they can push the police. Sending love xx

@IncognitoForLife hope they eventually came to see you and you're getting somewhere.

To balance this I have had nothing but excellent response related to my abusive ex and tremendous support from my local force, hoping yours was a bad point in an otherwise good service.

@Felix125 it wasn't intended as an attack on individual officers at all - the situation you describe sounds like horrific working conditions, where it'd be amazing if anyone ever accomplished anything.

"All jobs that come in are prioritised by threat, harm & risk. So, an ongoing domestic incident will always trump most other things" as it should be I'm sure, but with the number of 'slow motion' murders by men who've given lots of indications that they posed a real threat to women in general and to that woman in particular you can't blame women for not necessarily trusting that the risk assessment of 'ongoing' is reliable enough for them to bet their life on.

Caveat some forces are much much better at this than others. And my auntie ended up with a panic button in her house so response was hella fast and ultimately and eventually effective at getting ex to sling his hook.

I agree - safeguarding and risk assessments which we do (or should do) at each DV incident are supposed to pick up on these 'slow motion' murders before they happen. But they can take hours to do properly and inevitably you often get diverted part way through them, to the next emergency because its an ongoing incident.

I dig my heels in and say that I'm not going to the next job until i finish the incident i am currently on. Great for my current victim - but the next victim will then complain that they have had to wait for me to arrive.

Seriously dude why have you derailed a thread supporting a woman who has been attacked so that you can talk about yourself.

Ffs the ego on you.

I'm not - 'dude'

The question was - Why are the police taking so long to respond?

Here's an answer to that question

The short answer is "because it's not a priority".
The real question is why isn't it a priority?
This is contrasted against police having time to visit women for putting up stickers, ribbons and liking tweets.
Sorry OP that you're having to wait so long!

I'm sorry, OP. Did they come out eventually? Hope you get all the support you need.

sweetgrapes
Stickers & ribbons will not be a priority either - they will drop onto the event queue too and will be picked up as and when. These investigations will normally be called in as harassment or malicious communications by whoever the reporting person is. These are crimes under NCRS and will need investigation.

The question of what is a priority however will always fall into the current threat, harm & risk level of the incident and the police response will be directed accordingly.

And as ever, the resources soon deplete on such emergency calls and their aftermath, so the event queue length times increase.

Thanks all. Sorry for not responding. Police eventually came out, but they won't be following up. No witnesses, no evidence, my word against his....

Whats the level assault - do you have injuries?
Did you provide a statement?