Is this something men do? Putting women in a box

[helpmeunderstandthis]

Not sure if to post here or on the relationship forum. There seems to be a pattern in the men I had in my life.

First boyfriend told me women couldn't do my degree of choice (men dominated profession). I quit the boyfriend and did my degree of choice with a First.

After uni I decided to spend some time in Europe, boyfriend at the time was against it, he said we should move in together instead! I was only 21. I quit the boyfriend and moved to Europe and never regretted it.

My now husband has never encouraged my career choices, e.g. when I applied for my first "proper job" he said that I won't like it, many years later I am still at the same company in a senior role. I made some tweaks to my job after having kids, he said I wouldn't like those either (sometimes he was right, sometimes he wasn't). I don't like it NOW, but I used to love my job.

I am now pursuing a full blown career change. This doesn't affect our finances at this stage as I haven't left my day job. He said many times that I'm going about it the wrong way (he knows absolutely fuck all about the industry in question). I'm actually taking advice from professionals on how to do this. He is not against me pursuing this career, but he keeps reminding me of all the risks (I won't like it, I won't find clients, I'm not prioritising things right). Btw I'm not talking about a MLM type job, but a bog-standard profession that many MANY other people do!

I see a pattern here. I also feel deflated, like I'm failing already because my husband doesn't believe in me. And I'm sick of his mansplaining. Normally I tell people like that to fuck off, but he is my husband of 14 years and I'm not sure how to tackle this other than pushing back. Thanks if you read this far!

As a pp suggested, have you tried sitting down with him and asking him why he feels the need to keep pulling you down? And why he just can’t be supportive? If he starts on about wanting what’s best for you and worrying what will happen if you fail, remind him that you know what you’re doing and you wouldn’t treat him the way he’s treating you.

In my experience men tend to say "you can't" a lot to each other too. In my professional life, it's why all male Boards are generally less able to make good decisions than diverse Boards. All male Boards in my experience tend to be quite averse to change and generally quite negative in how they address risk.