Girls being used to manage the behaviour of boys in DD's secondary school

[pastaandpesto]

DD(12) has just started Y8. She's told me that in all-but-two of her classes, the seating plan alternates boys and girls i.e. every girl is sitting between two boys.

DD is very quiet and compliant in class, and she laughingly said that all the teachers seem to have put the known troublemakers either side of her to keep them quiet.

Outwardly I laughed along with her, but inside I am bloody furious. DD had a truly shit time with MH this time last year and spending time in the company of her friends is one of the biggest positives about going to to school. She and her friends could be trusted to work alongside each other in class, but they are being denied the opportunity because they have been unwittingly assigned as support humans for male children.

And before anyone says it, I am almost certain that this arrangement is due to the perceived need to sperate the boys from other boys, not to separate the girls from other girls. I have other children (boys) at the school and they all confirm that the vast majority of disruptive behaviour is from boys.

I'm not sure whether to challenge the school on this. I do sympathise with the teachers, classroom management must be a fucking nightmare frankly. But I'm really unhappy about the message this is sending to our girls.

I went to an RC girls' school, I would never send a child to an RC or single sex school.

It is for this reason that my parents sent me to a single sex girls school for secondary.

As a teacher now, I try so hard not to do this, and i remember my poor mum telling me stories of literally sitting between boys who would punch each other during lessons.

I now work at a good school with very few behaviour problems, so with the exception of one year 8 class, the students can be grouped however without there being any issues. My general answer is an annoying one but I think it’s the only way: we need to have a serious crack down on behaviour in schools. I’ve worked at rough schools in my career and most parents would be utterly shocked to the core at the behaviour or students. But it’s a huge societal issue that will take a lot of political will to solve.

this is a technique used for lively boys and lively girls.

Just email the teachers involved and head of year/form teacher explaining your DD has had a tricky year and please can they rearrange the seating so that your DD is with friends who support her well being rather then pupils who are disruptive

Actually many girls chat and do not get on well with their work when they sit beside their friends. They do it less obviously sometimes but nevertheless they are often to be found drawing on note books or having quiet chats about social issues. Most classes have seating plans. It is a behaviour management tool. It isn't necessarily what you think though. I sometimes have girls next to other girls but I think about who would work best where. Believe me - you do not want your daughter in a classroom without a seating plan. Classrooms work best for everyone when there is a well thought out seating plan.