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Feminism: chat

Yet more bother - wearing shorts in public.

11 replies

whatsup00 · 02/08/2022 15:15

It was hot yesterday and strongly sunny so I put shorts on and went to a country park. It is right by a city. So quite town-like despite being a 'country' park.

All was OK then I went to look at the horses and a guy walked up the path and laughed and said 'nice shorts, very nice' and then laughed again. They are just plain grey shorts, mid thigh. Nothing short or obscene. They are from the sportswear section in H&M. They are not exciting or unusual. They are very plain tbh..

Am sick of feeling uncomfortable, was the first time I've worn shorts there bc of fear of comments and I get comments. It was deserted and felt a bit unsafe tbh.

Have had this in the corner shop ('hi sexy'/'hi angel'), on the bus with someone sitting WAY too close and trying to rub their leg on mine, and just by the side of the lane with people yelling stuff out of cars, screaming and making me jump. Is it unreasonable to want to be able to wear normal shorts in the summer? I am thinking of getting some knee length ones now but tbh I really love these ones and want to be able to wear them, is that too much to ask, really??

I can see why some women actually like burkas - maybe they get left alone. Or maybe not? Maybe they get the same amount of hassle.

I had strayed away from feminism but sadly it is still extremely relevant even today.

OP posts:
Idontthink · 02/08/2022 15:43

Why let his and others idiocy affect your day

Pibbley · 02/08/2022 15:46

The burkha comment is ridiculous. Look at the rates women are sexually assaulted in India, where women are traditionally very covered up.

What women wear is not dependent on SA.

whatsup00 · 02/08/2022 15:49

I'm not talking about SA I'm talking about comments. I mentioned nothing about SA so I have no idea why you are talking about it at all. The reason being I get WAY more comments if I wear a vest top vs a hoody, and way WAY more if I wear shorts vs trousers. One of my friends says her burka protects her and covering her hair stops men hassling her. She says she is safe in it. But thanks for saying it was ridiculous, that really makes me feel better, go and tear someone else down.

OP posts:
Googlecanthelpme · 02/08/2022 16:47

It’s depressing OP.

i actually never get any comments or I don’t hear them because I don’t give men on the street any fucking space or attention. It’s great! They could all be making sexist comments but I don’t acknowledge 95% of mens existence in my every day life. I won’t sit near them, make eye contact or pass pleasantries when walking my dog etc.
Its sad in a way but also liberating.

Which makes my life easier but of course doesn’t really stop it happening.

Hoepfully someone will be along with some good ways to deal with this, other than screaming “get fucked” at every disgusting little pig who does this to you.

Sorry state of affairs, it really is.

GreyRocks · 03/08/2022 09:11

Sorry OP, that you have to deal with sexism and harassment in daily life and then misogyny on here too. When posters are feeling vulnerable, the bullies attack on Mumsnet.

As the above poster said, best to ignore the horrid men. I know it doesn't help in the moment when you feel unsafe.

I go swimming and get unwanted attention Every Day. I walk past as if they are not there. I actually use counter surveillance techniques, if they walk along side me, l change direction. Then they are flummoxed.

Literally walk away, turn your head away, it sends out a message. I would keep living your life as you please, with some safety strategies prepared, for in the moment encounters.

Last week l gave a guy the v sign, as he just randomly started talking to me. He got the message. I sensed he was an idiot more than a thug, so that l was safe, l don't make a habit of this. I wouldn't say anything to them in case they are volatile.

EmmaH2022 · 03/08/2022 09:15

It's awful OP. You have my sympathy.

maranella · 03/08/2022 09:15

Everywhere you go, there are creeps. I got hooted at by a passing car yesterday and I'm a 48! FGS, I thought I was long past that nonsense, but I was wearing a strappy top and any semi-revealing clothing brings them out of the woodwork.

SalviaOfficinalis · 03/08/2022 09:24

It’s so true and very depressing.

I read something on here a while ago about dressing to be “invisible” to men and most of my wardrobe fits into this - uniqlo joggers, plain t-shirt, hair tied up - zero attention.

Hair down and a dress/heels - even if not showing much skin) - much more attention.

They really are pricks aren’t they. It makes me so angry that people (men) think my body is there solely for the purpose of their viewing pleasure and I’m desperately awaiting their assessment of it.

RunningFromInsanity · 03/08/2022 09:46

I went to a football match last week, league 1, local team, I have a season ticket. I go to matches by myself.
It was baking hot so I wore a flowy summery jumpsuit, muted tones, nothing outrageous. I am a tall, slim blonde.

2 separate men in the queue said I didn’t look like the ‘type of person who would come here’ and ‘I wouldn’t have thought this is the place for someone like you’ .

I shrugged and turned away the the first time, but the second time pissed me off and I said why would an X United supporter not be at the X stadium?

Ridiculous. Apparently I now have to wear my club shirt to prove that I belong..

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 06/08/2022 17:53

I sympathise with OP and everyone else here who has had the same harassment. Women get it no matter what we're wearing, but summer seems to bring the idiots out. It's worse when you're wearing summer clothes but why the hell should we swelter in the wrong clothes for the season?

I was so relieved when I was in my 40s and realised I had become invisible to men.

Encouragingly, I've noticed as I got older that I've become visible again! but only to people of good will, who kindly offer me a seat or give me a hand with something difficult. Grey hair has its benefits.

Flatmountains · 07/08/2022 07:24

Be careful not to wear too much as well. I had a too-long dress and the fact that I was picking up the skirt made men very excited. I did get followed into a shop Got the sewing machine out, lifted the hem, voila! Invisible again.

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