Men telling me I look tired - best response?

[Celia24]

Anyone got any good retorts for this?

I've had this twice in the last year. I live between two newsagents. I once went into one with minimal make up on and the guy said 'you been working a lot'. Me - 'why do you ask?'. Him - 'you look tired'. Cheers.

I now go to the other newsagent and today the young guy in there who flirts with me said 'you look tired'. IMe deadpan - wow thanks. Him - 'well I can't lie.' I did go out last night and I am tired - I'm not looking for judgement, I just want my groceries!

It almost feels like they're saying you look so good all the other days that I feel let down today and I'm going to express that. Is there ever a good response to someone who thinks they have the right to say this to you?

I've said men here as it's never come from a woman for me.

That response might elicit 'banter' ... probably not the best choice of words.

If he can't lie, he's in the wrong job. Imagine giving absolutely honest feedback to every customer, he'd go out of business (or get punched). Of course, he saves his honesty for women customers, probably in the younger age range, and presumably imagines they value his pearls of wisdom.

So what? I enjoy a bit of banter with my local shopkeepers. I think OP needs to lighten up a bit tbh. No wonder she looks emotionally drained.

I'm not looking for judgement, I just want my groceries!
You had your response right there!

So do you... but I'd never have said that to someone I hardly know in a shop.

Deadpan with death stare: "Do I? That's interesting."

Same.
"Would he say this to a man?" - yes, likely.
"Would a woman say it to me?" - yes, definitely.
"Am I more annoyed when a man says it to me than a woman?" - not personally, but it seems a lot of women are.

I like this @Inthemane Do you know anyone who likes being told they look tired?

Or <concerned head tilt> So do you actually, are you OK?

I had this too with a local shop. It progressed to being called 'angel' and then 'hello sexy'. I stopped going to the shop for about five years, and I probably lost a lot of money because that shop is actually cheaper than the other one, it is so annoying but I thought raising it with the owners would make it worse. He has worked there for years.

I actually like it when people tell me I look tired. I feel ‘seen’! I am tired!

Yeah, this. I might agree with you @TruthHertz if he made similar comments so freely to men. Of course he doesn't. It is reserved for me/possibly other women so although I don't tend to apply feminist theory to everything I think there is an element of sexism in this. No way he'd tell a man how tired he was looking.

Anyway...I went back in today and he brushed past me several times. This time his uncle was in though so he kept his opinions to himself! If he says it again I now have some wittiest comebacks thanks to you lot 😁

'Yeah, I am, 'cos I was up shagging/sucking cock/rimming all night'

Or, as PP said - the blank stare. If you can hold your nerve.

I’d go with: that’s rude.

A personal comment back is my usual response. Getting your hair cut soon???
Or if a sixty something man tells me I look tired, I'd say, "actually, so do you, very very tired"

Sometimes in a man's simple brain this is their funny way of asking "everything okay?" But they can't just say that, cause then they'll look soft. To me it means they take notice of how I look most days so when there is a change they want to find a way to check in to see if your okay but don't execute it very well.

I agree with you op
Comments are for women.
There is that train of thought so many men have that a woman owes it to the world to look her best.
Im 52 and it never ends tbh because you're given a metaphorical pat on the head for ageing "well" and you're made aware if you could have aged better. That's men my own age and older letting me know.
My daughter once told my uncle "your bottom eyelids are falling away from your eyes".
She was defensive about me because my uncle had told me to take up running again. I was size 12. My male cousin was standing there, a good 3 stone overweight. He ran. But he needn't have worried. My ten pounds was the issue to address, publicly...