I want to stop watching porn.

[Guiltea]

Mid 30s/F.

Its not often but when I do masturbate I put on porn to get it done quickly, sort of thing

I enjoy things with my husband that I watch in porn but I've realised that something done very consensually with a husband is not the same as an actress with an actor.
And I don't like the things I'm watching, it's progressing into more extreme things, as I know porn does

I'm very embarrassed as I am very much a feminist at heart and this is like an awful secret I feel weighing heavily on me. I feel AWFUL and like I'm letting the side down :(

Its just so easy and quick. That sounds bloody disgusting doesn't it.

I'm just writing this thread as accountibility to myself to stop

[Polecat07]

I did the same last year OP. Good for you. It felt wrong and I know how frought with exploitation and abuse the industry is. Couldn't ignore the ethics any longer.
Erotic literature is a helpful replacement, and there is some very realistic animated material produced these days if you can get into that.

[Guiltea]

@Polecat07

I did the same last year OP. Good for you. It felt wrong and I know how frought with exploitation and abuse the industry is. Couldn't ignore the ethics any longer.
Erotic literature is a helpful replacement, and there is some very realistic animated material produced these days if you can get into that.

Thankyou for not judging me.

It's like I grew up thinking it was normal, so it became normal... But it really isn't.

And 90% of what's on there disgusts me. I feel horrible afterwards.

[Gidday]

I have a similar problem. A straight guy in mid 30's and I find that I always just want to look at something simple, not hard-core but it always tends to want to see the next thing.
Keen on help

[KeepYaHeadUp]

I recommend giving audio erotica a try. There's a great app called Quinn which has good filter/tagging allowing you to avoid anything that makes you uncomfortable and consent is a feature of a lot of the audio on there

[Guiltea]

@Gidday

I have a similar problem. A straight guy in mid 30's and I find that I always just want to look at something simple, not hard-core but it always tends to want to see the next thing.
Keen on help

Real Red flag PMing women on public forums about your masturbatory habits, man.

I will not be replying to your PM or engaging with you on the thread.

[Hann111]

Hi OP

I think it’s very brave that you are coming out and seeking help for this.

I have heard of a great charity here - I haven’t got direct experience but seems like they do great work. I do think porn addiction is sadly a hidden epidemic

www.nakedtruthrecovery.com

wishing you all the very best
x

[balalake]

It needs the equivalent of cold turkey. Hope you succeed in doing so.

[Thelnebriati]

There used to be a support group on Reddit, and the general advice was to avoid all porn, sexual activity and masturbation for one month. After that you gradually started to reintroduce consensual activity.

[Anothernamechange1235]

There is a good book and website called “your brain on porn” which I read many years ago. I stopped for years but now watch occasionally but I only watch more extreme things. I think it’s easy to become desensitised to it similar to watching scary films. My FWB put some on in the background the other day and it was like watching coronation street or something I was completely unphased by it.

[Shazanne]

My husband has been hooked on porn all our married life even when we had a good sex life. Now I'm in menopause this has become his outlet but he has progressed to sex chatlines with women online and that's only the stuff I know about by inadvertently walking in on him. My main issue with porn is how it objectifies women and the exploitation.. For a time my husband encouraged me to watch it but it felt instinctively wrong... My husband convinced me it was normal for a man to watch porn and he needed it for release... I am not sexual now but even when sex was frequent my husband wanted more sex... I hated him watching porn and I do feel it negatively affected our marriage in the long term. Mainly because I couldn't approve it for ethical reasons. Now we no longer have sex I am blamed for his pom use and he may have a point, but at the end of the day he has always watched pornography and is dependent on it for his fix... I think it is not healthy to be addicted to anything and it skews ideas on women having to be always availlable....I used to feel harassed for sex from my husband and he would sulk if I said no... Would he have been more sensitive had he not filled his head with fantasy? He's a good man but porn has been bad for our marriage and he denies responsibility for his choices. The sexchats he has with women online is fantasy in his eyes but he claims to only want me... He will give it all up if I give him sex.... But I've lost my libido now and I'm not interested ... Please seek help for pom addiction before it gets too late..it really is a thing..
Por n triggers chemicals in brain like a drug and it is known that in men it can cause erectile dysfunction and a need to move on to more arousing material.

[GhostCastle]

I am trying very hard to break this cycle. I first saw a porn film when I was 6. My parents were bad at leaving their stuff around. It was very graphic. Unfortunately, it has shaped how I view sex. I can only orgasm when I think of stuff I have seen or have made up in my mind. I know it’s not healthy.

[pizzaandgin]

I secretly also enjoy porn, but have not watched for years since discovering erotic fiction. Some of it is so explicit it really is a great substitute for porn.

[Childrenofthestones]

@pizzaandgin

I secretly also enjoy porn, but have not watched for years since discovering erotic fiction. Some of it is so explicit it really is a great substitute for porn.

With great advantage of not exploiting anybody.
Literotica, highly recommended.

[SavingsThreads]

Literotica is awesome, and mobile friendly to leave a hand free

[HandScreen]

Use Literotica instead, then

[HandScreen]

Hah, snap with @SavingsThreads!

[AnuSTart]

I would highly recommend Literotica too. You can get really extreme or unusual stuff with no harm done to anyone and it allows your brain to do some work for the fix and I'm absolutely sure it can reset the addiction.
You have my sympathy OP.

[whatsup00]

What stopped me (not that I really watched much of it) was thinking that I didn't know if these people had consented or anything about their life, if they were desperate for money, forced into it. There was some lesbian ethical porn a while ago - but same issue there really, you can never truly know and some people regret it afterwards.

[whatsup00]

Even with that they could say they were fine with it at the time (and needed money and covered it up, smile on face) but then a few years later realise how badly it affected them, I don't want to be part of it... that is what stopped me.

[suziesue45]

If you're only watching to "get it done quickly" how about just a little buzzing vibrator? Just something that feels different and certainly gets it done quickly?

[Childrenofthestones]

@suziesue45

If you're only watching to "get it done quickly" how about just a little buzzing vibrator? Just something that feels different and certainly gets it done quickly?

What is this life if full of doubt, we have not time to rub one out. (apologies to WH Davies) 😳

[Whitehorsegirl]

Maybe reading up more about the reality of the porn industry and keeping telling yourself that it is highly exploitative. I think once have in your mind associations between porn and sex trafficking, the objectification of women, people being forced into it to fund addiction to drugs or by their dodgy partner, the fact that most porn shows violent and degrading acts against women, that some of the videos might have posted without one partner being aware and so on. Then it really becomes difficult to justify and enjoy watching it when you consider all the ethical issues with it.

[mosex]

I have the same problem. Only watch lesbian and made by women but it's impacting my relationship as I can't orgasm with my DH now. I need to stop. I will try the erotic fiction I think

[pondsprite1]

Shazanne -

I consider it sexual abuse to punish someone with silence or judgment until the unwilling partner gives in. My ex-husband did this all the time, and he was very abusive (I couldn't see him that way at the time).
Sex became something I did just for him, and I'd be bored. Then it became a chore. Then it was something I dreaded. In the last year of our marriage every time I had sex with him it was always against my desire and I felt like I was being raped. I said yes each time but only because I didn't want to be punished.
Nobody should ever pressure someone to have sex - That is harassment. I like how men just blame the woman's lack of interest on the woman and never consider their own behavior could cause it. Acting desperate and pushy is a huge turn off.