Maybe silly - but help me explain Scout/Brownie type groups?

[iknowthismuchis]

DS is 6, his closest friends are mostly girls. He doesn't enjoy stereotypical 'boys' things, never has.

He's sad that he can't join Rainbows - he's not interested in Scouts. His friends go to Rainbows.

I don't know how to explain it to him. I'm trying to raise him as a feminist but in my eyes the only rationale I can see for activities separated by sex at this age is that Rainbows do "girls" things and scouts do "boys" things and I'm trying to teach him that he can like dance and sewing and pink and still be a boy but these rules are teaching us otherwise?

OP do you think that the difference between Rainbows and Beavers is that Rainbows do “girl” things and Beavers do “boy” things? Because if that’s how you think of it, you may have a hard time bringing your DS up as a feminist unless you start trying to educate yourself on what feminism is about.

Beavers does “scouting” things in a mixed environment. Rainbows does “scouting” things in a (mainly) all-female environment and they do it that way because girls are often at the sharp end of sexism in mixed environments and some parents think their daughters will benefit with being able to have some time without that negativity blighting their interactions.

👏

It's not about teaching him to stereotype activities. You could explain that originally Scouts were set up for boys and Brownies for girls. Then the Scouts voted to let girls in. But the Brownies voted to stay just for girls. They realised that girls benefitted from a space just for them because traditionally there were lots of rules around what girls and women could and couldn't do eg vote, own property. And also for certain religions, girls can only go to groups without boys so it means those girls get the chance to join Brownies too.
Brownies and Cubs can do the exact same activities.
I've explained this very simply because your DS is only 6.

You can raise a feminist son who can respect women's spaces. If you want to make a difference, become a beaver scout leader. Plan nights that include girls and boys and all their different interests. Scouts isn't just for boys, but rather than moan, join up and give all children a fun inclusive night x

But guides and brownies do allow males to join if they ‘identify as’ girls….

As others have said it depends entirely on the leaders. With rainbows we took them den building in our local wood, we have had them laying trails for others to follow, we have cut turf and rolled it back, built and started a fire and given them sticks, marshmallows and chocolate digestives to make s’mores. The brownies we took bug hunting and pond dipping, we went to the observatory for stargazing. We have a local green team and anything camping or environment related they will help with for a night, we have taken them to a fire station, had our local toy hospital along to show us what they do and taken the girls to a Chocolatarium where they learned about making it as well as getting to try it at different stages and from different time periods.

Round here, the Cubs groups tend to attract the less boyish boys that need a bit of a nudge to get out there, rather than the alpha male types, so I’d have no problem sending him to a Cubs group.

I must admit the Brownie badges at the moment leave me cold in a way I can’t quite put my finger on. They seem to be all about training girls to be service humans, rather than achievements in and of themselves.

This thread makes my heart break for your little boy. He’s just a baby.

Just wondered if anyone else thinks it's sad that girls have the option of a girls only club or mixed, whereas boys have no choice, they go to Beavers where there are girls or don't go at all. Maybe just me

Well it might make you feel sad,but GirlGuiding and their members are very keen to stay girl’s only
Wheras Scouting took the decision to let girls in

Boys can join the boys brigade/anchor boys, that isn't mixed

Please don't talk about "girls" activities.

No, tell him that the guide organisation is a female only space. Tell him that female only spaces are important because some females feel unsafe in mixed gender spaces. (Yes, I know some people will argue that it should be mixed "sex". But it isn't, and this is a thread about explaining to a six year old).

Explain that most spaces are mixed gender spaces, and he can play with all of these friends at school and on play dates.

I think every woman growing up must have realised the importance of women spaces at some point. This is why women go to the toilets together, you don't walk alone etc.

So that's not sad. There are so many options for kids now to be involved in you can't get upset about one thing

Explain to him that if he says “I identify as a girl” then he can join rainbows. It is only boys who admit to being boys that can’t join rainbows, not all boys.

Well they’ve missed the boat on that. Girl guides now let boys in and have male leaders - it is just they will lie and say that your daughter isn’t sharing changing rooms, dormitories, showers following activities, with boys and overseen by men. Men like this girl guiding commissioner;

But without being able to do scouting girls are left with guiding (which is ok for some girls). But is missing in my experience so many skills/activities. Scouting is great for more active girls. And certainly one positive is that (in general) the boys are more hyper and a slightly hyper girl at guiding can be struggling to sit through some of it. For eg once dd brownies went to a wooded area. They sate down for a party. Sat through inductions and then ran out of time so couldnt go for a walk or on the play equipment right there. dd was quite upset. They also went swimming - but it was in the shallow teaching pool.

Compared to DS several night hikes. Wide games.
I do agree its leader dependent though as youngest beavers leader changed and now its more doing the less active badges.

Not easy here to get into any of the groups let alone change to another one that suits your child better. and as i say the leader can then change.

i agree boys can dominate. However its then good for them to have girls in an activity as the girl could be their sixer. Whereas when separate the girls are learning to lead each other, but not how to get listened to by boys.
the Brownie badges were good but seemed to develop artistic skills (at home) with scouting focussing on learning things. But i love the way they go into so much depth as a child with a lot of interest/ability in swimming or computing etc.
In brownies it was a baking badge but cubs did a cooking one so chopping and using the hob etc. (and that was new for then whereas they had done a lot of baking before.

Also i note that during y2 the boys and girls seem to switch more to play and go to parties by sex more. Sad for the ones who are closer friends with the other sex. And IMO the leaving out of opposite sex activities (parties etc) is why trans takes off so much as if you say you are trans they other kids might let you go to these things.

Girls can join Scouting

You know he’s 6?