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Feminism: chat

Instagram picture perfect pressure

6 replies

NutellaEllaElla · 04/05/2022 07:50

I'm sure I am the last person in the world to think this, but isn't the Instagram/ online expectation for women to be photogenic, beautiful, perfect etc bloody exhausting and regressive?

I generally have carved out a fluffy corner of internet for myself where my Facebook front page consists of cute animals and hobby related content so I don't feel that I'm generally very much exposed to it but I wanted to find an old school friend today through another friends insta friend list. I was put off getting in touch though after seeing her picture perfect curated feed. All of a sudden I am comparing my life and looks to hers and feeling not good enough. Why is there this sense of competitive PR? It feels like we're still mostly valued on looks.

I dunno if this is especially a feminism sub specific post as I'm sure some men feel similarly, though I think it's worse for women. Eugh anyway, I'll crawl back in my hole.

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Mandodari · 04/05/2022 09:08

You sound like a grounded person with interests and hobbies. What she has posted probably bears little reality to her real life. She is posting to receive validation. If I were you , I'd stick to the animals and hobbies, they sound a lot more fulfilling that wasting time trying to prove you have the perfect life.


NutellaEllaElla · 04/05/2022 10:23

That's true. I'll try to retreat from it though it seems to have a gravitational force

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DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 04/05/2022 10:28

I hear you. I was on a girls’ night out recently and some people spent all of their time taking a million and one selfies. I am generally quite a secure person but I felt the pressure to be selfie ready - I can’t even take a selfie without dripping my phone.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the main selfie taker is the least happy, but hey, at least her Instagram looks amazing…


NutellaEllaElla · 04/05/2022 12:44

I think the fewer mirrors and selfies I'm around, the happier I am. Not because I'm a total minger 😁 but it's just too stressful to focus on my appearance.

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ElDormato · 04/05/2022 12:53

I find accounts like Danae Mercer on Instagram very helpful for reminding me that it's all a lie (if I start getting envious of the picture perfect lives).

Everything is so staged, and once you start thinking about what life must really be like, trying to get your family or house or outfit or figure or hair just perfect for a photo, I think you start to realise that it's better not to be in that trap. Eden my family are having a lovely moment, kids playing happily on the beach, I might take a picture for my own memories, but I don't feel the pressure to pose my kids and take multiple shots, then edit them, because I'm not sharing them with the world. I'm sure I enjoy the moment more when I'm actually in it, rather than trying to get a perfect picture of it.

It's a sad thing about our lives these days though. I worry for younger people with less ability to see that it's not actually real life that they're comparing themselves to.


NutellaEllaElla · 04/05/2022 18:55

Yes I've gone and followed a bunch of body positive accounts now thank you.

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