Radio 4 now: excusing watching pornography on the train as an addiction (ie illness)

[anchorbuttercakes]

Anyone listen to this , tbf one of the guests was a therapist but again excusing disgusting behaviour as an illness . Anyone else ? Just want to say ‘don’t f*ing do it’.

I heard it and had much the same thought.

I think porn is addictive - that's one of the reasons the exposure of young men to internet porn disturbs me so much - and I could see some of the points they were making.

BUT - when are people going to start actually listening to women? The women who have experienced this and the smirk of the man on the train as he notes her discomfort? In many cases I've read of it's very clearly a deliberate, abusive display of dominance and it should be understood as such.

I was however very glad to hear the male contributor making it clear that this was vile, abusive material being viewed. Too many people I've spoken to have no real understanding of what this stuff is.

And on Woman’s Hour Emma keeps on saying Not all men or mostly men …when we all know who does what and to whom. Seems like we are all being gaslit these days

I've worked in addictions for decades. Addiction is terrible. However, I've known crack addicts with no teeth who looked terrifying and never robbed, mugged, dealt or did anything that hurt anyone. They hurt themselves terribly.

Men, addicted to porn or not, who use women's discomfort as a prop in their high aren't good people. The addiction doesn't cause the abuse, their abusiveness causes the abuse. They can angry wank at home but as soon as they are doing it TO women, all my fucks are gone. Apart from all the very horrible stuff that happens to the poor women who make porn.

Its impossible for us to tell if a perp is an addict or sexually abusive and the effect is the same, so the addiction factor is not our problem.
If you are addicted, deal with it and stop inflicting your behaviour on others.

I've seen this on my morning commute (pre-Covid). I was standing and the guy had one of the rare seats, with me squished in next to his seat. I had no idea where to look or what to say. It was like 7 in the bloody morning! What does one say?

How should anyone, female or male, react to seeing a fellow passenger watching porn in public? I guess in a work environment there are channels to complain. What can one do on a train??

Complain. Tell them to turn it off.

If it happens on a train, women should complain and tell them to turn it off. If the perpetrator won't, report it to the guard.

When you buy a ticket you are making a contract with the train company. You pay money and it return they will transport you from A to be in (reasonable) comfort and in safety.
When this happens they have breached the term of the contract because you have been made to feel unsafe.

If you get no joy from the guard. write to the Customer Service Dept at the head office of the train company. Enclose a photocopy of your ticket. Tell them when and where it happened (date time, place) say how disgusted you were at seeing this.

Women need to make a noise about this, otherwise it gets swept under the carpet with the usual bo££ocks about "no-one else is complaining.

I think it would be reasonable to loudly ask the person to stop watching porn in public.

I agree porn can be addictive, but so is heroin, and I've not seen anyone shooting up on a train. People do understand the concept of there being a time and place.

Passengers are advised to text the transport police on 61016 if they see anything they are concerned about. I think they use a phrase like 'see it, say it, sorted'. Perfect for those passengers who are too scared to call out behaviour as it happens.

Agree
Perhaps some women do watch porn (although none of my friends do - not out of prudery but because we just don't find it erotic in any way) but I've never heard of or seen any woman watching it in public so if half the population can control themselves its clearly possible.

I had a porn viewer on a bus at school going home time, casually perusing his 3 hard core magazines in front of me like he was flicking through Take a Break. I didn't say anything because I thought he was probably a lunatic who would explode if I challenged him. I certainly would not expect the driver to do anything. If something like that happens again I will text the BTP, but don't expect them to intercept the bus and arrest him. What can you do?

Addiction may be an explanation but it is not an excuse.

It's utterly infuriating to hear people making such excuses. Nicotine is addictive, we still dont let people smoke on the train because it hurts others.

Also, the introduction of laws making it illegal to smoke in many places has helped significantly reduce the harm nicotine addiction does - now there's an idea!

For arguments sake say we class pornography watching on a train as a behavioural addiction.

Where do draw the line between blatant disregard for social standards and society as a democratic functioning place and the “addiction” being swept under the carpet. Or as “they just can’t stop themselves from reaping the rewards of a explicit watching high” that unfortunately the whole train has to unwillingly consume when they didn’t want too?!

You can’t smoke, drink or have sex on a train in front of everyone so why are are you watching adult content loud enough for people to hear and bold enough for people to see. It’s just not okay?!

Thus the world continues to make excuses so that the minority can justify their appalling behaviours.

You can’t smoke, drink or have sex on a train in front of everyone

You can drink. You might even be able to buy it if there's a catering service on the train.

Not that that denies your point, because there are behaviours people may have a strong compulsion for, for whatever reason, but there are still strong social taboos, and mostly laws against it too, based on those acts being taboo. Addicts are aware of these taboos, and often hide their behaviour as a result. If someone is watching porn in public, it's probably partly because they are feeding their addiction by breaking that taboo. It makes it no less acceptable.