Csa

[sophienelisse]

I had a big row with my DH and although it's not been mentioned since the weekend I am still annoyed.

I might be the one who is out of order but I'm just not sure anymore.

We were talking about the csa and non payers, debt on the csa account etc and I said along the lines of

"Csa payments are usually to women. If this was an was the other way round and it affected men more than women I bet there would be more done to recoup that loss to the RP and we would see a lot more self employed be investigated"

I went on to say it's still a patriarchy in the government and in most work places and whilst the gender pay gap is closing it's still not there yet.

He said I was bat shit.

We had words then and agreed to disagree but I'm still annoyed with him.

Or is it me?

Yeah it's him. My OH is the same, sort of sees it for a moment then doubles down.
I think the patriarchy is damaging to men in many ways, it's a veil over their eyes also

It's him. Nothing you said was incorrect. Calling you "batshit" rather than putting across any counter points is pretty shitty.

Yes. He was quite annoyed. As was I.

It started out as the CMS are shit. He agreed.
They don't do enough to sort out send employmed or debt. He agreed.

Then it all started when I said " I think if it was an issue that affected 95% of male claimants rather than 95% of female claimants then it probably would have been made into a law by now with proper processes and a lot of fines for not complying etc, but they won't now because it's a male issue and it's still a bit of a patriarchy within the goverment"

It's him, but definitely not just him. My partner would be the same. There are topics we just don't discuss now because he simply doesn't have the lived experience of being female so does not comprehend why it can be so shit.