Feminist warhorses: pull up a sandbag and tell your stories

[Brefugee]

On the long thread about feminism (being despondent) in AIBU the topic came up that there seems to be a big gap between older and younger feminists and that sometimes in all the clashes the progress we have made seems to get forgotten about. And some of us having been engaged in feminist struggles for a long time can sometimes have a bit of a blind spot about some of today's issues because they are outside our sphere of experience. Similarly, the issues around, say the WASPI women and their pensions seems something so far away (and pensions such a unicorn of an idea) to younger women, the idea of us all being on one huge feminist side gets lost.

So. Anyone got any stories of learning to knit at Greenham Common to share? Things like that? Small wins in the workplace? Failures?

I failed to have a creche introduced at my institute of higher education. The reasoning was 'there are no mothers here'.

On a more positive note, I now work in a managerial capacity so am able to bring in or inform policies that help women wrt menopause, flexible working, etc. I also encourage women who've had and raised children to apply for jobs, and make it clear that I dont' consider that a 'gap' on a CV but a positive addition.

If that was true, ooh I wonder why that might've been the case?!

And we all know it's only female parents that need childcare. Male ones seem to have that all magically sorted.

100% true, Prelate. I had a friend at the time who was a mother and had wanted to go to higher ed, but couldn't. It was her situation that prompted me to raise the issue.

I managed to persuade the company i was working at, rather inflexible in so many ways, to agree to part-time working (50%, 75%) for women returning from maternity leave. The sky didn't fall in and after a year or two the MD told me that he was surprised to note they were all very efficient, didn't chat "round the water cooler" like most of the rest of us but came in, worked away, then went home. That was an air punching moment.

I also managed to persuade one of our men to take some paternity leave (unfortunately only one month) but he was the first, and there were a couple after him who did it too. It doesn't feel like a "win" though because it is just so little.

I started a new job in the mid 90s for a large insurance co in central London. Working in IT, as an analyst, at their Head Office of about 300 people. I turned up in a trouser suit on day 4, and was pulled aside by my (male) line manager, to tell me women weren’t allowed to wear trousers. Shocked doesn’t begin to cover it, I had an hour and a half commute from the Home Counties, made up of a bus, the tube and a train, in January, and it was bloody freezing. Trousers and ankle boots made it doable.
I looked up the policy in the employee hand book, and went about petitioning for it to be changed, using language my previous employees had used re.womens dress code. It took 2 Yrs, but they finally changed it (just as I was leaving). It’s a small thing in the scheme of all things feminism, but I was pleased and relieved at the time.

Mid 1990. First pregnancy working for major global healthcare company. They had all sorts of stuff about encouraging equal working. But I was told clearly that they could not and would not offer part time working
But then 4 of their most senior women ( hey we weren’t that senior but the most senior women) all got pregnant and went on maternity at same time.
we formed a group. All through maternity leave we fought the company. We set up 2 job share proposals between us, fought HR including meetings in our front rooms with babies with them. Eventually they agreed in principle. My ex manager shocked me by offering me the job share - he was a very blokey man , but I knew he was very family oriented. On the day he offered he said his wife had to give up work when she had their first baby as her company refused to accommodate her..he said to me “not on my watch”
we all returned part time and showed that we could not only make it work but the advantages. 3 years later they introduced the first flexible working policy in the global company. By 7 years it was a world wide practice, by 6 years they won a uk HR award as best place for women to work.
It was incredibly stressful at the time- being on maternity leave with no idea if I would be able to return to work…but I feel us 4 pathed the way for hundreds of women since in that global company.
when I was retiring, I told a young mum about it, and who was the first boss who agreed…she couldn’t believe it was this guy who by then as extremely senior and had kept his reputation as a bit macho…but he was an under cover feminist really ! It does take men like him to be allies to make progress happen in these situations

Ah. Brave women and fair men.

Oh trousers! I was on a YOP scheme in the early 80s and worked in an office with a lovely woman who was early 30s. She turned up one day in a gorgeous, designer trouser suit. The boss came up to me (office dogsbody) and told me to tell her that women shouldn't come to work dressed like mechanics and that she was to go home and change.
She didn't.
Next day she wore a similar outfit, i wore a denim mini skirt and docs. It felt like a moment of solidarity. He wanted to send me home but as the office manager said: she's wearing a skirt. Policy was never officially changed but no more was said about it.

I reported sexual harassment at work while pregnant in the face of half my dept taking his side (because he is a man and it's just bants) and the other half "staying out of it". I developed ptsd, anxiety and depression as a result partly because i was pregnant and went into labour 10 weeks early. The doctors told me my premature labour was very probably due to the stress he caused overloading my body with adrenaline & all within the same week) but as a result of me pushing a complaint through and not shutting up, new policies were brought in around mental health and sexual harassment and the management were forced to confront the rapey, sexist toxic culture in my department. (couldn't leave due to nobody hiring part time workers and couldn't afford childcare - such is the patriarchy) Sadly the evil fuckers still work there but everyone knows what they did and I've moved on to bigger and better things. This was within the last 2 years.